Would You Discourage This? Overly Affectionate...
19mo DS and I go to a library storytime once a week. DS is not shy in this environment - he does not sit for storytime, he is up exploring the room and that is acceptable. I cannot get him to sit still with me longer than a minute at most. But his latest thing is hugging other mommies and trying to sit on their laps or wanting them to play peekaboo with him. Constantly.
There is one mom he likes in particular - I think he hugged her at least 5 or 6 times today. We are friendly and she doesn't seem to mind so I let him, but when it gets excessive, I tell him, let XXX get some time with her own mommy or something like that. We often sit next t o each other so I just pick him up at that point. Today, he went literally across the room, hugged and sat on some other mommy's lap for like 3 minutes. We do not know this woman - she was very sweet but I have to believe that some people don't like it or it makes them uncomfortable. There was another mom there today that we know a little bit too that he did the same thing too and she seemed not quite as comfortable about it (probably how I would be!)
I am glad that he is affectionate with others and not scared of strangers, but this seems excessive. At home, I usually have to ask him for hugs but he always gives them gladly. He VERY RARELY sits on my lap unless it is bedtime, but he wants me to pick him up a lot. It's strange b/c a lot of times if I am with him and we see a family friend who wants to pick him up or hug him, he will get so shy and cry if they try to. I don't want his affection to make other people uncomfortable and honestly it hurts my feelings a little bit and embarrasses me (maybe other ppl think my DS doesn't like me or that I don't give him enough affection?). If this were your DC, would you discourage this kind of behavior and if so, how? I seriously can't keep him next to me during these classes, he is all about movement right now. I didn't know if I should go walk across the room to him today and lead him away from the other mommy or what? Should I just let it go?
Re: Would You Discourage This? Overly Affectionate...
My DS is very affectionate. He loves to give hugs and kisses to the moms and other kids at story time. I only redirect him if they seem to be bothered by it.
I love that he's so affectionate. I think it means I must be doing something right.
Same here. We go to Gymboree classes and sometimes he will go over and want to be picked up by other parents or play with them (he went through a phase where that was all he wanted to do). I let it go for a little bit then go get him, or get him right away if they seem bothered. I agree with robbie - I think his affection for other people and his lack of separation anxiety is a good thing and I also think it means I must be doing something right!
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I've had strange kids want to sit in my lap or be hugged, and it has never made me uncomfortable. I think you are doing right by trying to redirect him after a few times so that the parent can spend time with their child, but I don't see anything wrong with him being friendly.
DD is really friendly and asks to be picked up or hugged by strangers often. She especially likes men, and we joke that she's a flirt already. I usually laugh it off and pick her up, but in an atmosphere like a toddler's story time I think it's a little different than random strangers in the store.
We go to the park often and she likes to stand near the other parents and talk to them. She's really social toward kids too, and as long as I'm very close by, I don't see a problem with it.