- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Alabama Babies
Would this annoy you or am I over reacting?
I have an old sorority sister who has a baby girl that is exactly 3 months younger than Aubrey. I have been struggling with this whole Aubrey standing/pulling up/walking thing as ya'll know for a couple of months now, and she is well aware of this.
Okay let me preface what I am about to say with I really do enjoy hearing about what all my friends babies are doing and I am truly happy for them when they accomplish something new and I'm excited for them and their mommas. However, this friend only tells me what her daughter is doing when I am discouraged with my situation. Like yesterday I was pretty down and frustrated about it, and I wrote on my blog my feelings. Well she comments saying well Payton is pulling up, cruising, and crawling...I think she'll be walking by 9 months.
That's great an all, but that's all it said. I guess seeing as how I just wrote a blog that she read about how I felt so discouraged right now I took that as being a little boasty and insensitive. I chose not to publish her comment.
I may be overreacting.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Would this annoy you or am I over reacting?
You're not overreacting - she's being insensitive. It may be that she's just really proud - and thank goodness she doesn't have the stresses you are facing.
I felt the same way about a few of my friends with babies close in age (or even months younger!) Like I would see their baby's accomplishments and it would just discourage me more and more - or when Avery would FINALLY reach a milestone - I would get comments like "oh ____ has been doing that for MONTHS"... Um... Thanks but that's not what I needed to hear - I needed to hear just a plain old "Congratulations! yay for AVERY!" ya know?
But...if you ever need to vent or anything you can contact me ANY TIME... Because believe me, been there, done that (still doing it).
And - if it makes you feel any better - I think that Aubrey is doing great. She's more advanced than Avery was at her age - pulling up! That's so awesome! And - Avery walked at 20 months. She's 23 months old - and you can't tell a difference between her and a kid that was walking before a year now. So Aubrey WILL catch up.
Big hugs girl!
"Well she comments saying well Payton is pulling up, cruising, and crawling...I think she'll be walking by 9 months. "
And you can respond back to her that kids who are late walkers have been linked to better reading/fine motor skills
or... she may be doing all of those things now - and then just not walk for a LONG time. It was 8 months between Avery crawling and walking. It was 5 months (or longer) between the time Avery started pulling up/cruising to walking.
You aren't overreacting. I would be upset if a "friend" responded like that to me in a similar situation.
I agree with Sarah - Aubrey will catch up and by this time next year, you won't be able to tell who walked or pulled up early or anything like that. She'll be running around with every other kid on the playground!
Oh, and if it makes you feel any better, I am very sensitive to Kennedy's verbal development. She still only says about 7 or 8 words regularly. Meanwhile a friend of ours has a kid who is 6 weeks younger and says close to 100 words. The other day I was feeling down about how little K is saying still.... and then I saw a video our friend posted on facebook showing her 14-month-old SPELLING words on her sippy cup.
At that point I realized that my child is probably closer to normal than hers. Oh well.
natural m/c and d&c at 10 weeks - 1/24/2014
DX w/ hetero C677t and A1298C MTHFR - 3/4/2014
Well she's not quite pulling up yet...just trying. She gets to tall kneeling and sometimes up to what I call her proposal position, but she hasn't figured out to keep on pulling up...she usually gets frustrated at that point and sits back down.
But thanks
I know you definitely know how it feels, and I totally know what you are saying when I can actually get excited over something she does...it seems like someone always says well so and so has been doing that for months. Or when I ask someone when their LO started doing something and I get the oh she did everything early. It's really disheartening.
I try to think positively through all this...I keep telling myself each baby is different and does things at their own pace. But I still have my discouraging days and yesterday was just one of them. She goes to her monthly therapy appointment the 24th and her therapist would like to see her pulling up by then, but I am not sure it's going to happen. I keep feeling like I have failed her somehow. But I know in my heart that this is how it is supposed to be and she will get this, and like you said Sarah in a year no one will probably be able to tell the difference between her and a baby who did something earlier.
Candi - I would be annoyed with her. Its one thing to unknowingly hurt someone's feelings. Its another to rub salt in the wound.
I read your blog, too. I felt a little guilty since I post pictures of James pulling up and whatnot on fb. But I would never in a million years leave a comment bragging about it. I wanted to comment and say that it is awesome how quickly Aubrey is catching up after PT. You are working so hard and she is a very happy little girl. Don't get caught up in Mommy wars. I'm super jealous of some of the stuff she's (and other babies are) doing (like STTN right now!) but I try not to let it get to me. I know that's easier to say than do. Hang in there!
Avery wouldn't go to her knees...she would try to hoist her whole body up from sitting to standing - um... it don't work like that kid!
Lydia - I am not sure you saw my post earlier (or last week?) but Avery's speech was pretty limited. we had her hearing tested and it came back fine but she just wouldn't talk. However... in the past 2 weeks - Avery has really started to pick up words - I'm guessing one a day now! Our pediatrician counts sign language and animal sounds as words too - so that helped us a lot, but even so, she was/is still behind. But... I am giving it by the new year - and I bet my kid will be talking in full sentences... I can't get her to be quiet now. Keep doing what you're doing - label everything. When she points or asks for something - make sure you say the word a bunch of times before you give it to her. Not sure if you're doing sign language but it wouldn't hurt to try some basic words (More, Please, Thank you, Milk).
They will all catch up
Oh don't feel guilty...what James is doing is awesome and you have every right to be proud. That's the thing...I am truly happy when I see a baby try something new...but I just wish Aubrey could do it too
I know she'll get there and she really has come a long way since she started PT.
And you have not failed her. Completely opposite of that. You were concerned enough to do something about it and are following through. That makes you an awesome mom.
I think everyone else has said what I wanted to but Candi, you are a great mom. You have not failed Aubrey. She is a beautiful, bright child. Your friend is just being insensitive. You are not overreacting. I would feel the same way.
I would be very annoyed at that. Like Amy said it's one thing to unknowingly hurt someone, yet another to kick someone while they're down. Candi, you're a great mother and don't let anyone else make you feel differently. Just keep doing what you're doing and Aubrey will be standing/crawling/walking before you know it.
Candi, you most definitely are not failing her! You are a great mom! And yes your friends post was definitely insensitive.