new and terrified!

akb5k · September 2010

Hi- I'm 5 weeks with my first pregnancy (age 36) and scared! It seems like everyone has had a miscarriage, and I can't stop worrying about it. No morning sickness or sore boobs, just on and off very minimal lower abdominal cramps- so I keep thinking something's wrong because I feel so fine! My first doctor appointment isn't until October. How do you deal with the uncertainty? Anyone NOT have a miscarriage over 35?

Thanks for listening!

ScoobyM · September 2010

I know how you feel! I was 36 when I delivered my DD and I am 38 now for this one. With my first pregnancy, I honestly didn't worry about miscarriage just because I was so over the moon to be pregnant and had no history or real basis for that fear (no immediate family members or close friends had suffered miscarriages so I just didn't have a lot of stories to fill my head). With this pregnancy, I started out feeling equally confident and even went ahead and announced my pregnancy to my close friends and family right away, at only about 5 or 6 weeks along, because I was so confident on the basis of my previous pregnancy. To my horror two of my close friends, one of whom had just had a baby and the other of whom was almost to her second trimester, both shared they had experienced miscarriages prior to their most recent pregnancies. I was crushed and scared and could not stop worrying that something was going to go wrong; it was even worse because this pregnancy didn't feel anything like my first one so I was convinced I had jinxed myself by stating out loud that I didn't expect any problems.

I am happy to say it was all in my head! I am almost 37 weeks now and have had no issues at all with this pregnancy. So yes - there are people out there who have not had a miscarriage after 35. Do your best not to dwell on it and try to remember that 35 is just a number, there is no reason for you to fear anything will go wrong with your pregnancy just because of your age. Think positive and try to enjoy this time, especially if you aren't feeling sick. Happy and Healthy 9 months to you!

Sunny70 · September 2010

I had one miscarriage before DD#1, and am currently super-pregnant with DD#2. There is nothing that can keep you from being scared completely but when I got pregnant the second time my OB said that there is nothing you can do to keep a pregnancy that is not viable and there is truly very little you can do to shake one that is (short of termination). Also that I didn't do anything wrong and that it didn't have that much to do with age, it happens very often to women of all ages. It helped me to know that I couldn't control what what happening, I was just kind of along for the ride. It may sound strange but I just tried to pray, relax, meditate or whatever worked, take care of myself (aka "The Baby House") and trust. I felt a lot better once I saw the heartbeat, and did the NT scan. After 12 weeks I sighed a big sigh of relief.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! H& H 9 mos. to come I hope!

LyndaCarter · September 2010

Congratulations! Worrying is normal, just don't let it interrupt your entire life.

I miscarried at 35.5 years old and now I'm 4 days away from meeting my second daughter at 36 years old. I never had any symptoms this time either. Just the usual stretching/cramping pains at first. I wasn't overly tired, overly hungry, no sore boobs, no morning sickness, etc.

TheCricket · September 2010

I'm 41 (almost 42) and naturally pregnant with our first - and with twins nevertheless! I've felt great throughout this pregnancy, and even had an 2nd ultrasound two days ago, and the babies were fine and dandy... and dancing around in there!

It's normal to worry, and that will certainly ease up some after your ultrasounds and appointments. Many, MANY women have perfectly fine pregnancies and babies after 35 - so you just need to take your vitamins, do what is sensible, rest and try to just enjoy this. And don't Google too much - it will make you nuts.

atesta1205 · September 2010

I am 35 pregnant for the first time and due in 7 weeks. It is normal to worry but think positively about things. Many people give birth at our "old" age that my OB laughed at me and told me I am still young. I agree with not looking at websites too much because they will make you crazy. Good luck and Congratulations!

jannymcg · September 2010

I have had 3 children after the age of 35 and am now expecting twins. I will be 42 when they are born. Try not to look up stuff on the internet. It will drive you crazy. I didn't have any symptoms with this pregnancy when I went for my first appt, and was so worried. That was when I found out that there were two perfectly healthy little ones. (around 8 weeks). then, it was like a week later that i started feeling sick and now I am wondering what the heck was I thinking. : ) Try to enjoy it, and think positive. No signs does not mean something is wrong.

ktwilley · September 2010

Try not to worry, though I think it is only natural to worry about something that you want so badly and have no control over. I know that I did. I was worried that I didn't have any early symptoms too, but sure enough around 7 weeks (from LMP) the morning sickness started. Just try to enjoy being pregnant. It's such a wonderful time.

Congrats and a H&H 9 months to you.

akb5k · September 2010

Thanks for all the encouragement! I appreciate the responses.

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