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TTC After a Loss 6 Months+
To the Newbies...
First and foremost, I am terribly sorry for your losses. To even be in a situation where you are interested in joining our community is not something I would wish on my worst enemy.
I just want to be clear about what I believe TTCAL 6+ is about, and what you should expect here.
TTCAL 6+ is not something you "graduate" to after 6 months of unsuccessful cycles following a loss. They won't kick you out of TTCAL for being there too long. And if you're someone who thinks every BFP is "inspirational" or "gives you hope," TTCAL is better suited to your personality.
6+ is a community created by women who are, quite frankly, in a special circle of hell and would prefer to be in the company who are also living the nightmare. Beyond unsuccessful cycles, many of us have spent our life savings or gone into debt for infertility treatments, many of which have failed. Some of us have gotten to the point of giving up for now. Some of us are pursuing adoption. ALL of us are exhausted.
Puppies and rainbows have long since left our wallets, our empty bedrooms, and our utes. We're cried out, dried out, and we have absolutely no tolerance left for goats, drive-bys, FH's and the like.
It's not to say that we don't laugh a lot, and share really awesome days and great news with each other. The support here is unmatched. But if you're asking to be here, please do so because you are in the same place we are, and will not be offended if we tell SuperHappySunshineGlitterMom22 to fvck off when she gets her BFP after 3 cycles. We will also find your house and have our dogs crap on your lawn if you PM someone we just flamed for being an idiot. Save it.
I know this probably does not sound very welcoming, but 6+ is my therapy, my safe place, and my only friends who have any idea what my life is like. I would lay on railroad tracks for these girls. I want anyone interested in joining us to know that if you're gonna hang, you gotta do it our way.
If, after all of my drivel, you still want to be here (and you get what I'm saying), then (((hugs)))- I can't express how sorry I am that you're to this point in TTC. But I promise, we'll be here for you.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: To the Newbies...
<a href="http://s699.photobucket.com/albums/vv353/guppyamy/?action=view
I wish that there was a button that I could push to say that I LOVE this post.
And just to add to this a little. If you rude to any of us, we will flame you. We all kind of think alike here.This board was created for the Snarky, the bump gods just did not feel inclined to name it so. That is what will go on here. This is not my personal feeling but the feelings of the majority, if not, whole group. So please be aware any glitter farts being blown up someones ass will be attacked and destroyed.
I didn't really come here to feel "welcomed" I guess. I'm here because my questions and my experiences are beyond "How long to wait to TTC after m/c" and "How long after D&C did AF show." I'm sick of newbies that post for 2 wks and then have a BFP- it doesn't give me hope.
I will say that I know how supportive these ladies are...Most have supported me since February when I first posted after a week on MC/PL.
Jenn
IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN
Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10
BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11
Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11
my blog
You have a wonderful way with words. I appreciate all of the support I have received on this board so far, and hope to continue to give it as well.
Thank you.
BFP 12/18/2009. HB 1/4/2010. NO HB 1/18/2010. D&C 1/19/2010
April 2011 IUI #1 BFN. High FSH and other issues.
May 2011 Chose to build our family through adoption
September 2011 Actively waiting for a match
11/26/11 Surprise BFP * DD born 7/23/12
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle!
April 2011 CP @ 5 weeks
Dandy, thank you for your post. I'm a newbie to this board, and you're right, you don't sound entirely welcoming.
BUT, you sound real, and I appreciate that. I cannot say that I completely understand your special hell, but I understand you wanting to protect it and defend the people who stand with you. You are being very forthright, and I respect nothing more than a person who is willing and able to articulate their thoughts/feelings. It?s not hard for a lurker to see the camaraderie between the regulars here, and want to be a part of it - you all share something special. For me, its hard to find a way in to those folds, but time will determine if this is the right community for me or not. I have received kindness and support from the ladies of TTCAL and TTCAL 6+, and I am very grateful for the times you've given me e-hugs when I've been in my own personal hell. I hope to continue to return the favor.
natural mc @ 10w4d 3/7/10
DS2 born 9/13/12
Thank you, Dandy. I really don't want 6+ to become another P&R glitter sharts place like TTCAL has become.
For me, 6+ is less a function of time, and more of an integral of frame of mind. Hence why TTCAL and 6+ can exist at the same time. One place is for happy, hopeful people and the other is for the exhausted, worn-down.
12 long, hard years of TTC-
Miscarriages, losses, lots of treatments & drugs & IVF
Natural BFP (WTF?!) - 06/04/11 ~ lots of complication and drama, but sweet baby Adele born 02/07/12!
BFP #million -another girl for us! EDD - 05-08-15 (but will come early)
I absolutely LOVE your "0 weeks" badge, HILARIOUS.