- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Baby Showers
mommytosam011011
member
No kids allowed?
mommytosam011011
member
in Baby Showers
Ok first off I'm sorry if this has been asked before.
Do you think it's rude if I ask people no to bring their children? Four people on my list will have newborn babies and a few others have small children under seven. And the place we are having it is just a big like party room. I just don't want a bunch of kids running around during it. So should I ask them not to bring them or just suck it up and deal with it?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: No kids allowed?
I just had my shower this weekend and there were a few children. I wasn't too sure how I'd feel about it. The older children (1-4 years) were restless and loud and sadly my friends had to leave as their kids were really rowdy ( they left on their own, not asked to leave!) But the babies (6 weeks to 6 months) were perfectly content and didn't even make a sound the whole time!
My mom was saying she understands children that are nursing are understandanly going to come with their mothers, but the older ones were a little bit too much.
hope that helps!
Personally.. I have no problem with any kids at my shower.. mine is on saturday and there will be a lot of kids of all ages.. almost all of my friends have 2-3 kids. That said I am not bring ds.. he just turned 3 and i would not be able to relax and have fun at my shower if he was there so he is staying home with dh. I am leaving it up to the moms if they want to bring their kids or not. My frist shower was small and there were only a very few kids that attended.
I think it is ok if you do not want to have kids at the shower.. ie age 1 and up.. the younger ones might still be nursing so they would probibly need to be with mom.. also they are not moble so it is not such a problem with them getting into things. I went to 2 showers last summer both second time moms and their kids did not attend and one of them was a kids free shower as well. its your shower so you definatly have a say. gl!
Well, other babies aren't going to take away from you. At any event, the attention isn't going to be 100% on you all the time no matter what. So- keep that in mind. And really - it kind of comes across as shallow on your part if that's really "the" reason.
If you want to say "no kids", that's fine, though. I don't feel baby showers mean "all babies welcome". It's still an adult event in my book.
BUT- I do feel true newborns are an exception. It's hard for moms to be away from nursing newborns who aren't necessairly on a schedule.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
It is absolutely fine to have an adults-only event. If someone can't leave their child they can simply decline.
Wow. I was kind of on board with the whole "kids will be bored and rowdy" thing, but the "I'm such a blatant aw that I can't stand the thought of someone else having a fraction of the attention that should be mine! :foot stamp:" thing?
Wow.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
Heh, this.
Most moms I know wouldn't bring a toddler to a baby shower anyway - but saying no to nursing newborns because you don't want anyone's attention being diverted to the baby is pretty crappy of you, imho.
~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
[spoiler]
I am in the camp of "no kids allowed" but I also don't consider "newborns" KIDS. If the people bring their newborns the parents of toddlers (and older kids) won't be bent out of shape because most people will realize there is a difference. As long as the baby is in the lap (not walking, crawling, etc) I have no problem with it. I agree with the pp that said the moms of the newborns will probably decline...I know I would. If that is fine with you then you should not have invited them in the first place.
My question for you is: why are you inviting people you don't not consider close friends? Showers guests are supposed to be family or close friends - not everyone you ever had contact with.
Your party, you get to make the rules, and adults only is perfectly acceptable. I generally think that sort of information should be conveyed personally, rather than writing 'no kids' on the invitation...if the person isn't close enough to your or DH that you aren't comfortable calling them to talk it over with them, I don't think they are close enough to you to warrant an invitation to a gift giving event like a shower. As far as newborns re. toddlers, newborns are much less of a hassle, but its a little stickier from an invitation standpoint to OK some kids, but not others.
To be honest, the part that conveys to me as the rudest is that I get the strong vibe from you that you don't care if not allowing kids means these folks can't come, because you don't really care if they are there anyway. If you don't care if they are there, *don't invite them*, and if you have a reason to invite them, you should be willing to be just as accommodating to them as any of your other guests.
I completely agree. Kids and toddlers are one thing; they can be a major distraction and I think you have every right to say "no KIDS", but newborns who need to be with their mothers are another issue. If you're saying that you don't give a crap if these women come to your shower, then you shouldn't be inviting them at all.
People are always going to be drawn towards a baby in the room. I've been to a couple showers with baby's and yes the baby usually gets attention but I wouldn't say it took anything away from the mom-to-be.
Now rowdy kids...that's a no-go in my book. It's a huge pet-peeve of mine to have kids running through a crowd of people. This is not recess, there is no tag allowed in the living room. Ironically the kids that do this usually have mother's who allow them to do so...bad parenting and bad behavior in children go hand-in-hand.
I was at another shower and there were two little girls (about 6-7 years old) and they were very good, even helped by collecting the opened wrapping paper and bring the mom-to-be new presents to open. So it really depends on the kids.
I didn't mind when 2 of my friends asked me about bringing their kids, I simply told them I didn't mention it since it is being held at my house and everyone invited has kids and didn't think we would have the room, etc since it's a shower and not a kids party. I actually wound up telling them it was fine since it seemed as noone else was bringing their kids and a few wouldn't hurt. I appreciated that they asked me.
What did piss me off is that my SIL asked my husband, not even mentioning to me or my hostess. I just didn't appreciate that she wouldn't ask me first. But then again my SIL's are not the most responsible people either. The way she handles things I guess is more why I am irritated with her and not my friends. My friends always bring along things for their little ones and are very good about watching them whereas my SIL doesn't come prepared. It's just the way people go about things that can be quite annoying, not so much if they are bringing their kids.
"I completely agree. Kids and toddlers are one thing; they can be a major distraction and I think you have every right to say "no KIDS", but newborns who need to be with their mothers are another issue. If you're saying that you don't give a crap if these women come to your shower, then you shouldn't be inviting them at all."
Well said.
Never been to a baby shower in which children were excluded. There have always been newborns, infants and toddlers at the showers I go to. People leave their 3+ year olds at home, but it seems kind of odd at a shower that is intended to celebrate the arrival of a new child by excluding everyone else's young children b/c you don't want the attention taken away or you don't want the kids being, well, kids. Weddings, bridal showers - sure, those are totally adult events where it is acceptable in some cases to exclude children. But a baby shower is not in my book. I also agree with the posters who have noted that if you don't care whether the mothers with newborns come or not, you shouldn't invite them. If I knew that was someone's attitude towards me, I would be insulted and wonder if they were inviting me for any reason other than getting a gift out of me.