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Not sure how I feel about this....

thebeadingladythebeadinglady
in Infertility

So at the baby shower on sunday I was just too tired to deal with all the questions about when we were going to have kids. So when I got asked by my friends I just told them the truth. They were all really great about it. The only exception was the mother of my friend from HS whose wife is the one pregnant. I told her about everything and she immidiately said we should adopt and then we would get PG, which is one of my biggest pet peeves of all time. Then she said that we should try prayer.

She has now sent me an email that she is going to say a novena for me. Apparently you pray for nine days straight asking to be blessed with a child. She says that when it works she wants to help with my baby shower. On the one hand it is incredibly sweet of her to think of us. But on the other I am not religious at all, which she knows. And now I feel like if this cycle does work she is going to think it is because she is doing this novena for us, and not because of the medicines and IUIs. I suppose it can't hurt though.

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Re: Not sure how I feel about this....

  • njohnson1972njohnson1972 member

    Sounds like you handled it well.  It is frustrating when people make light of IF and think prayer or adopting will fix the problem.

    But it sounds like her heart is in the right place.

    And if you do get pregnant, then you will have to ask her to say a novena for all of us! 

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  • meg_koolemeg_koole

    So sorry sweetie.  I agree with you.  I have heard it all too.  I will pray for you, god has a plan, etc.  Well, I am not even baptized, so not sure that either are going to help!!!!!!!!!  Stick out tongue

    I try to be nice when people feel the need to share their relax/pray/adopt stories.  I know they are just trying to be nice and helpful, but they don't realize that they are actually being quite rude.

    I think people just don't know how to react to IF...  I wish they would just say I am sorry and I wish there was something I could do to help.  Period. Done.

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  • PurplePanda83PurplePanda83
    Like you said it can't hurt. I can definately understand you're being peeved by her comments but at least you know it is well intentioned and if you do get pregnant this cycle you already have someone who will throw you a baby shower!
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  • Edwina.McDunnoughEdwina.McDunnough
    imagenjohnson1972:

    Sounds like you handled it well.  It is frustrating when people make light of IF and think prayer or adopting will fix the problem.

    But it sounds like her heart is in the right place.

    And if you do get pregnant, then you will have to ask her to say a novena for all of us! 

    I agree.

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  • k-martk-mart
    I agree that it's frustrating. But she does have her heart in the right place. You just have to let some people slide. If she's not in your face everyday with it, let it be. ((hugs))
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  • halfnhalfhalfnhalf member
    Sorry she is making you feel awkward.  People just do not know what to say, I've realized, when it comes to IF.  Hopefully she doesn't get too crazy and overly involved.  And, more importantly, let's hope she has some powerful prayers :)
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  • etoyamaetoyama member
    Oy to the VEY!
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  • vanessagorcvanessagorc member
    imagemeg_koole:

    I try to be nice when people feel the need to share their relax/pray/adopt stories.  I know they are just trying to be nice and helpful, but they don't realize that they are actually being quite rude.

    I think people just don't know how to react to IF...  I wish they would just say I am sorry and I wish there was something I could do to help.  Period. Done.

    I agree...but its not like the prayers can hurt...maybe she could just keep them to herself.

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