- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
Someone please help me. I am in tears.
I dont know what it up with DD. A few weeks ago she started waking once here and there I thought it was because of teething (her molars are coming in). It went from once here and there to every night, then several times a night. Now as of last night after I pick her up and soothe her, she wont even go back down. I have been up with her since 2 am and she wont take her naps now either. She screams when I try. She would cry today when I would put her down, too on the floor, in her highchair to eat, etc.. Now she is screaming again in her crib. She is fed, warm dry, had mortin at 7 before bed, has her nightlight, sound machine and lovey. There is nothing I can do for her. If I pick her up she will calm and will just start again when I put her down. I am about to lose my mind. DH wont help me. I havent slept in 20 hours. I decided to try CIO and its been over 30 min and shes still screaming. I dont know what to do. If I give in I will have to start all over. Please help me.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Someone please help me. I am in tears.
Maybe she has an ear infection? Try giving her tylenol and gas drops, when DD is super fussy and motrin doesn't cut it after a couple hours I try tylenol and gas drops (pedi said this is okay). If you go back in her room just rub her back or do something to comfort her but don't pick her up.
Any temp? I guess not with the Motrin but when it wears off I would take her temp. Is there anyone that can come over and help you, a friend? coworker? someone? You are at your breaking point. . .we've all been there and if DH won't help you MUST get someone to come over and help? I know if I got that call from someone, even if I wasn't THAT close to them I would come over to help. I would also say call a nurse advice line through your pediatrician or your insurance, they may want you to bring her in to check for UTI, ear infection etc.
I am sorry! We are going through something similar for the past 6 days, where he will wake up every 2 hours, and is awful to get back down... He is getting teeth at the moment so we are hoping this is what it is. Is your DD teething? Getting close to walking or any other milestones? Fever?
At its worse, DH and I took turns holding him in a chair upright asleep. We could at least doze off that way, and he would sleep with us.
Why won't your DH help?
No I dont have anyone. I live an hour away from my family and my friends dont have kids and they wouldnt come over at this time anyway. I really dont think she's sick. It has been bullding for weels. She went through this bad separation anxiety phase around 8 mos right before she started STTN and was doing these same things. I just dont understand why its happening again at this age.
I agree with this. Even if you think it is just separation anxiety, just bring her to bed for some cuddles and both of you get some sleep. She is probably exhausted too, which is only making her more cranky and harder for her to settle down. I would also call the pedi and get her checked out, just in case.
I dont know. He has picked 3rd shift (by choice, he can have whatever shift he wants) since DD was born. So I neve had help at night. On the nights he is home though, he never helps. If she is screaming he actually gets up and goes downstairs so he doesnt have to hear it. He goes "I dont know, let her cry" or "You do what you think is best". I do all the feeding, bathing, bedtime....
Hang in there, Mama, you can do this. My DH isn't tons of help either in these kinds of situations but has been getting better lately - those molars are tough to get through.
DS went through this a few weeks ago, honestly we spent a lot of time going to sleep in our bed with the TV on a kids show. Once he was all the way asleep, I could move him... which would last about 4 hours maybe. Then he would be awake again, and after a time or two of me trying to put him back down, he would be back in our bed.
If your DH doesn't want to cosleep, try the guest bedroom or couch - I've been there with DS, and it's better than nothing. Last week, I went back to CIO for DS because he hasn't been acting like he was hurting as much, and that took a while for him to settle down. But while he's not feeling good, we just did what we had to.
Try orajel too, that may give her enough relief to finally fall asleep for a little while. Ask DH to go get it tonight if you can, maybe that will help all of you.
Oh I want to give you a huge hug! No WONDER you're at the end of your rope. Please do yourself a huge favor and talk to him about what you need as far as help goes. It is hard raising a toddler and I couldnt imagine doing it without help. Hang in there, but seriously - talk to your husband. I would still check with the Pedi tomorrow too
You have to do what feels right to you (CIO or cuddle/bedshare) I, in your boat, would go for the cuddles/bedshare.
If your DH isn't working tonight, he needs to help. It must feel exhausting to not have help, and you deserve help, and for him to participate in parenting. He can't just go downstairs and avoid his daughter in a time of need.
Take her to the pedi. That sounds like an ear infection and all the CIO in the world isn't going to help her pain. Pick her up and hold her all night if you have to.
Hang in there! Nothing lasts forever, you know?
PS. I'm a bit concerned that your DH "won't help" you. What's that about? I'm mad at him for you.
Camryn Grace ~ July 6th, 2009 ~ 7lbs 9oz, 20.5"
Brayden Richard Drew ~ December 20, 2010~7lbs 9oz, 20"
I really didnt want to CIO, but I dont know what else to do. She iniitally goes down in her crib no problem, she just wakes later and wont go back down.I think its my fault I gave in more and more over the past couple weeks and now I created this habit with her of seeing me overnight again. Last night after trying to put her down threes time and giving a bottle, motrin and changing diaper, I just sat in a recliner and held her while she slept til 5 am. I feel so guilty, but I have to go to work tomorrow, I cant not sleep again and be able to function at work. She has one molar in and one that poked through and I hard bump where the 3rd will be, so hopefully this is over soon
I really didnt want to CIO, but I dont know what else to do. She iniitally goes down in her crib no problem, she just wakes later and wont go back down.I think its my fault I gave in more and more over the past couple weeks and now I created this habit with her of seeing me overnight again. Last night after trying to put her down threes time and giving a bottle, motrin and changing diaper, I just sat in a recliner and held her while she slept til 5 am. I feel so guilty, but I have to go to work tomorrow, I cant not sleep again and be able to function at work. She has one molar in and one that poked through and I hard bump where the 3rd will be, so hopefully this is over soon
If you don't want to CIO (totally understandable), why not try that extinction technique that I did? I think maybe you did create a habit by picking her up and consoling her (not flaming you, I've done it too...it's only natural)...but I think it needs to end or it's gonna get worse! When she wakes up...go in and rub her and "shhhh" her for a few minutes and if she doens't let you leave, sit/lie down on the floor next to her crib so she can see you...but don't talk to her or touch her. She'll probably cry for a few minutes, but ignore her. Eventually she'll fall asleep...it may take an hour or so, but when she does, quietly sneak out. Then tomorrow, sit further away from her crib.
Camryn Grace ~ July 6th, 2009 ~ 7lbs 9oz, 20.5"
Brayden Richard Drew ~ December 20, 2010~7lbs 9oz, 20"
At first he was super nervous with her (hes a big guy, shes so small) and he was afraid of doing things with her. Then it became habit or assumed I would do everything. Dont get me wrong, he spends lots of time with her and he loves her to death, just the "work" part is all left to me and yes I do harbor a lot of resentment and he has no idea. And then I feel guilty like its my fault too for not saying anything, I feel like its just opening a can of worms to bring up year-old resentment. For the most part it's fine, just the resentment crops up when there is a rough-phase like this. Ordinarily she is a super easy baby - sleeps 7-6:30 am and naps 4 hours a day.
It's time to talk. My advice (and I'm no expert) would be to sit down, and very openly explain to him exactly how you feel. The resentment, the overwhelmed-ness (yes I know that isn't a word, but I've had a bottle of wine, so it's a word tonight) and tell him you're not accusing him of anything, because you never told him what you needed from him, but now you are. I've found in arguments/discussions with DH where I need him to do more, if I acknowledge that I should've said something sooner, that it helps. He feels less attacked, and more "needed" and therefore, being the guy he is, does his absolute best to help me with what I need! Good luck Mama! I hope you and DD are already asleep now!
exactly this.! I need sleep! IT has to be teeth, right?
She may have a ear infection like others have already stated. When DS had ear infection he never had a temp.
Good luck, as for your husband tell him you need help, dont ask, just tell him. Tell him to step up a be a parent.
DD #1 passed away in January 2011 at 14 days old due to congenital heart disease
DD#2 lost in January 2012 at 23 weeks due to anhydramnios caused by a placental abruption