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2nd Trimester
Molluskwrangler
member
16 year old, judgmental waitresses get bad tips.
Molluskwrangler
member
Last night DH and I went out to dinner, our waitress was very young and nice enough...at first. I placed my order for fried clams, and she says "are you sure, the chicken is really good". I asked her if the clams were bad and she said "no but..." and looks at my belly. I just laughed and told her I want the clams. At dessert time she says " do you want any DECAF coffee?", I asked "do you not have regular" her response? "well we do but you're pregnant!" Lucky for her, the deep fried oreos for dessert with vanilla ice cream was so good that I couldn't complain about her, I did give her a smaller tip then normal but really? Inappropriate much?
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Re: 16 year old, judgmental waitresses get bad tips.
People are so rude!! Somebody said something to me about eating a salad "It's that diet food? Your babies going to be so small" I was livid!!
We have almost the same due date!!
She probably meant well, but very unprofessional and none of her business.
Because you REALLY need advice from a 16 year old, right?
I've worked as a waitress and I have a soft spot. I was tempted not to, and just leave her a "tip" about keeping her thoughts to herself.
lol, apparently I do, I bet she told the other girls there how I am going to have a freak baby with two heads..more cute hats to buy for me. I was less concerned about the clams and caffeine and more concerned that everything I ate was battered and/or deep friend.
I still tipped her 10% but I normally tip 20 if they keep my water filled and are well, you know are not rude.
I was a waitress and I think 10% was generous. I would have complained to her manager. Rude "kids" have to learn somehow!
ERbear, you're oversensitive.
I would have left a smaller tip for the intrusive behavior also. If not that, I would have asked for a different serer and then she would have got nothing!
And telling her what she should and shouldn't do to her body is just as rude as saying "you're fat, don't eat that." Same thing.
If you were in a restaurant and someone that worked there told you what you shouldn't feed your kid, would that be okay? That's essentially what she did. Just happened to be an unborn child...
Oh come on. She probably watches Teen Mom and 16 & Pregnant, like, all the time. She obviously knows way more than you do about appropriate pregnant behavior.
I would have been like omg your so right I shouldn't be eating the way I am how could I forget I'm pregnant. Thank you so much for your wisdom!
Or just straight up asked her, "wait you mean you didn't eat this way when you were pregnant"
People just annoy me when they get up in my business and they don't even know who I am.
This, she wouldn't have gotten anything from me!
I was thinking this. While I totally understand your frustration, I think it would have been more worthwhile to educate her on the subject. I'm surprised a 16 yr old even thinks she knows what a pregnant woman should/should not consume. Definitely a little bit presumptuous there.
I was thinking this exact same thing. How does she know about those things? I agree that she crossed the line. Maybe you should have ordered a glass of wine! She might have called child protective services on you!
:::lurking from 0-3:::
I don't think you did anything wrong. In fact, I think you were nicer than most people would be.
Yes, she's young. But if she's old enough to have a job, then she's old enough to learn what is and isn't appropriate in the workplace. She has to learn sometime, and coddling her isn't going to teach her anything. I'm not saying to be a jerk to her or try to get her fired, but she needs to learn not to say those types of things.
I would have tipped her the 20% that is customary where I live. Her job is to provide good service and food. Her opinion is her opinion and really it doesn't have anything to do if you food was good or came in a timely manner.
People say all kinds of things. I often get asked by wait staff if DD would like a soda or they hand her crayons (which she will just try to eat right now)! Obviously she is too young to have soda or crayons and they just don't know about babies but should I not tip them because they had the nerve to ask or suggest....? No they were just being (ignorantly) helpful and you shouldn't fault them for that or take it personally.
I know waitresses and waiters rely on their tips so unless they are not doing their job description there is no reason to refuse a tip.
Yes, her opinion is her opinion, however, it should be kept to herself unless she is specifically asked.
I love it!!!
20% is far above average in my area 12% is more like it, the older people here tip for crap and I thought she was out of line. The service was incredibly slow, I usually chalk it up to the kitchen being behind, as I've also worked back of the house, but her comments put me over the edge.
Everyone would of handled it differently but I think it's still unacceptable, I don't care if she is 16 or 36.
I agree with this. It's not like she was downright rude. She asked if you wanted decaf coffee. She probably just thought it wasn't allowed. Maybe she had a pregnant sister whose doctor told her no caffeine, and she figured no pregnant women are supposed to have it, you don't know. And if she thought all pregnant women couldn't have caffeine, it makes sense. If I was still waitressing, I wouldn't offer a pregnant woman an alcoholic beverage. I would probably offer her a glass of water or soda. I would have been more weirded out when she asked you if you were sure about your dinner choice. Definitely not 10% tip worthy IMHO, she probably would have benefited more if you would have explained to her that pregnant women are allowed caffeine. This way the girl doesn't make the mistake again.
ETA some extra thoughts.
Actually, food has 0 to do with the waitress and everything to do with the kitchen (unless it was fired incorrectly or left there for a while by the waitress) So, if my food comes and it's not great, I don't penalize the waitress.
In this situation, the waitress had 100% to do with what came out of her mouth and guess what? Her job is to serve the customer and do her job, not offer up opinion and in this case it was beyond rude. I would have been way less nice and would have asked for a manager.
I'm more apt to just tip the really good servers more than 20%. Last night we went out and I tipped our waiter 25% because he was SO good and I would go back to that restaurant again because of the service we received.
On the other hand, I believe if you are a bad server you should get a smaller tip. I think of tips as a bonus that servers get kind of like the bonuses people get at work for good performance. Plus, if they get smaller tips they are less likely to keep the job and then there are open positions for good servers who deserve my money. :-)
That being said, I probably would have set her straight on the facts and told her that it's generally frowned upon to give pregnant women unsolicited advice.
Funny how the 16 year old thinks she knows more than you do about your pregnancy. I can't believe how common it is for strangers to make belittling comments!
EDD 1/31/13, MC May 17. EDD 3/31/13, MC July 26. I miss you so much already my angel loves
While I won't be offering my opinion on the subject of this thread (because it won't change anything), I would encourage you to rethink about your "tips are bonuses" theory.
I know (as I'm sure many of you do), when I worked as a waitress a couple of years ago, hourly I made about $2.25... Which meant my weekly check was pretty much just enough to buy dinner or a tank of gas... So tips are their actual income... not bonuses.
I definitely agree with this. I am going to take this a step further and say that when I worked as a waitress over the summers, my checks were all ZERO DOLLARS! (Yes, I would actually get a check, signed (or stamped) by the owner for zero dollars and zero cents. I often wondered what the bank would say if I tried to cash them lol) Every red cent of my base check went to taxes. So no, tips are not bonuses. Tips are life, or in my case, a college education.
This. I have been a waitress for five years and have also been pregnant before this pregnancy, as well as being pregnant WHILE being a waitress so I've seen it from both sides.
I completely agree that it was inappropriate that she inject her advice into her service like that, but I don't think giving a smaller tip is teaching her anything about her behaviour. She probably truly thought she was being helpful and just needed to be informed that it's not helpful and is seen as rude. That's the only way to really teach her anything. Leaving a smaller tip isn't as clear of a message and she likely interpreted it as something being wrong with her service not her attitude - especially if she didn't see/know her behaviour was inappropriate in the first place.
I would have been confused if I were the waitress, because if you were perfectly nice during the meal, didn't say anything specific about what was bothering you, and then left a bad tip? I wouldn't learn anything from that.
It's also likely that 10% is normal for some people and she didn't think you were cheap but that 10% is something good, or at least expected. I wouldn't see 10% as a bad tip, just a minimum, and would therefore also learn nothing. When I leave bad tips, it's OBVIOUS, like 5% or nothing.
Avery - March 16, 2011
Things to avoid during pregnancy: Eye contact with cats. Cats will suck the burgeoning life right out of you, using their infamous feline mind-powers. Avert your eyes, and move along.
FACT: 1 in 10 people are said to be a carrier of Listeria. Therefore you should avoid all shopping malls, grocery stores and busy street corners for the duration of your pregnancy. Or microwave anyone you contact until steaming, just to be safe.
I usually tip 20% which is more than most people. But I think you have to earn a tip, don't expect 20% just because you showed up that day. If you consistently don't make decent tips it's a sign that you're not a good waitress. If I wanted someone to take an order and then ignore me, I'd go to McDonald's and pay a lot less.