Have you notice supportive people get bored with your IF?

SallyAnneS · September 2010

The people that I use to rely on most IRL to support me through this IF journey, and that always wanted to know what I was doing and how I was feeling seem to have become bored of asking about it and have pretty much forgotten I am going through this. I sort of want to shake them and remind them that until I announce a pg I am still dealing with this every single day.

c0debabe · September 2010

Being supportive takes a lot of energy and IF is not really a pleasant subject for most people. You don't have to shake people--just tell them that you appreciated the level of interest and concern they showed earlier and that you hope that they can continue.

patchen30 · September 2010

I completely agree w/ you - my supportive friends have begun to act bored too. It's ironic b/c the longer this goes on the more I need their support, but the more old news it is for them the less they're able to give it. I just try and remind them that I really need them to keep lending an ear.

SallyAnneS · September 2010

Hmm... for some reason I never thought to ask them to keep supporting me like they use to. That makes so much sense. (having a duh moment). I am seeing one of them this weekend (SIL) I might bring it up if it seems appropriate.

3citygirl · September 2010

When I see friends every couple of months... it feels like I'm saying the same old story... I'm mid cycle, here's what's wrong with me now... at least no one will be bugging me about if it worked or not because they're all learning not to expect it to work. A couple friends have said that they are afraid to bring it up in case I don't feel like talking about it. I keep telling them... I'm ALWAYS up for talking about it

labbylover03 · September 2010

Yes! I've gotten to the point where I pretty much try not to bring it up with certain people unless they specifically ask me how things are going. I hate feeling like I'm "boring" them with my reality!

2bKEdwards · September 2010

I'm sure I'm boring people but it's what happening in my life sooo...they get to hear about it

MSaksa · September 2010

I also completely agree. Thats one reason I get on the boards here is because I feel like I have nobody that TRULY understands what going through all this feels like.

JMay · September 2010

Yep. I especially love it when a friend is super supportive 'til SHE gets KU, then it's a NON-issue. Fun. Although, to be fair, I'm sure it's hard to support someone dealing with such a difficult issue. But still...

halfnhalf · September 2010

Yep, I am in the same boat. I definitely feel a sense of distance between many of my friends and I. I would make sure not to go on and on about my IF when we'd talk (and I really only get into it at all if it comes up in conversation or if they ask). So I know I didn't chase them away or talk about it too much... but most people don't really ask me about TTC anymore. They used to, so I think they are sick of the awkwardness when I really don't have any news, and it's the same old story (no news) month after month. I'm actually feeling really embarrassed about the whole thing. I just never thought it would take ths long, and I have numerous friends with and without IF who have TTC'd, gotten pg, had a baby, and celebrated their first birthday while I am still stuck at step #1. It's awkward, embarrassing, pitiful, and most of all... sad I just mostly talk to my DH about it, and thank GOD he is wonderful to talk to. And secretly, I'm just hoping this nightmare is over soon and I can return to a normal relationship with my friends (hopefully).

so1966 · September 2010

i can completely relate and to be honest i have distanced myself from my friends. after enduring IF for years now and having no news for such a long time, there's really nothing to talk about on my end. for such a long time it was one failed cycle after another. even though i told my friends about my failed cycles, they really didn't do anything special for me. they are there for me if i want to talk, but they really just don't understand and frankly they don't even check up on me any more. i think people just become absorbed in their lives/kids and frankly probably tired of hearing nothing from me. oh well, that's my life.

i really honestly think that people just want to celebrate with you and not check in on you even though they know what loss and pain you have endured. that's all i ask at this point...i am grateful for the space they have given me, but it would have been nice to hear from them more often.

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