WWPgALD? Is this mean?

TravelinMama · September 2010

So I got to thinking today, dh may not make it for this birth (ok that's been on my mind a lot).

BUT, if he doesn't, would it be mean of me to not let anyone (including mom and grandma etc..) not hold the baby till dh gets to hold her first?

I'll be flying back to Canada either at 35 or 36 weeks, due date is on the 27th, dh gets there on the 21, so the most it would be would be that anyone wouldn't get to hold her is 2 or 3 weeks assuming and only if she comes early.

Is this unfair, or unreasonable?

Scout05 · September 2010

I don't think it's mean, but I'm not sure it's realistic? You are going to need help, and give it a few days of no sleep, and I imagine your resolve on this will fade in the face of needing a shower and a nap.

For me, if I have a c-section, no one but DH is allowed to hold the baby until I can. But that is only a few hours, at most. Days, and then into weeks, might be pushing it.

magdalina.h · September 2010

I agree with PP. It's not mean, but I'm assuming unrealistic. MH will be the first to hold nugget and once I can I'll be next. I didn't get to see Aidan for a few hours and other people got to see him before I did. I don't want that again.

EmKo0210 · September 2010

ambrandau2:

I don't think it's mean, but I'm not sure it's realistic?

This is what I was thinking. Maybe if it's just for a day or two it would work?? Hopefully your DH makes it in time, so you won't have to deal with it at all : )

TravelinMama · September 2010

ambrandau2:
I don't think it's mean, but I'm not sure it's realistic? You are going to need help, and give it a few days of no sleep, and I imagine your resolve on this will fade in the face of needing a shower and a nap.
For me, if I have a c-section, no one but DH is allowed to hold the baby until I can. But that is only a few hours, at most. Days, and then into weeks, might be pushing it.

I guess not showering isn't an option lol

JuJuBe3 · September 2010

I don't think it's mean. I think people would understand that for a couple of days, but if it truly ended up being weeks, it might be harder on you.

Is DH able to come home earlier if you go into labor earlier or is it the 21st for sure?

celestej619 · September 2010

I agree with pp's, not mean just not very realisitic. Hopefully your dh makes it and this won't even be something you have to think about. Smile

JenPVH · September 2010

I certainly see your desires to wait to have your H hold the little one before the others and do not see that mean at all. If you are going to be alone with the newborn for awhile, that might not be realistic. Especially if you had a C-section and was not able to move around much and need a ride home.

TravelinMama · September 2010

toddandjulie:
I don't think it's mean. I think people would understand that for a couple of days, but if it truly ended up being weeks, it might be harder on you.
Is DH able to come home earlier if you go into labor earlier or is it the 21st for sure?

I'm not so sure yet.

pepomntpat · September 2010

ambrandau2:
I don't think it's mean, but I'm not sure it's realistic? You are going to need help, and give it a few days of no sleep, and I imagine your resolve on this will fade in the face of needing a shower and a nap.

For me, if I have a c-section, no one but DH is allowed to hold the baby until I can. But that is only a few hours, at most. Days, and then into weeks, might be pushing it.

This, exactly.

TravelinMama · September 2010

Thanks ladies, you make some good points. I'm glad it didn't come off as me being horrible, we've just waited so long for this moment.

vlewis515 · September 2010

ambrandau2:

I don't think it's mean, but I'm not sure it's realistic? You are going to need help, and give it a few days of no sleep, and I imagine your resolve on this will fade in the face of needing a shower and a nap.

For me, if I have a c-section, no one but DH is allowed to hold the baby until I can. But that is only a few hours, at most. Days, and then into weeks, might be pushing it.

This!

lindseyenderson · September 2010

I think it's unrealistic, I mean the nurses etc. will be holding the baby- to say you might do this is probably setting yourself up for failure- you will need and should accept help. The baby will have plenty of time to bond with your H once he arrives. I completely understand your mindset- but in reality- if it's more than one day- you might end up resenting him for not being there if you're doing all the work without letting anyone help with the baby. Remember the hormones that will be surging!!

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