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The JR high/HS bully (long)

NikkiJ19NikkiJ19
in School-Aged Children
Last year SD was in JR high and she got into it with a known bully in there school system. Talking to other parents and the schools the whole family acts this way (she has an older sis in HS and younger brother in elem). So the are both in HS this year and it is a much bigger school so we didn't know if SD would even see her. So much for that hope. The girls cousin (a boy) is in study hall with SD and they started talking trash back and forth. The boy started it but SD can let things go or tell the teacher. I am not pleased that she involved herself in this name calling session. The problem is he pushed her in the head and said he was going to fight her. A boy?!?!? SD being SD didn't say anything at the school and told us when we got home. We called the school and it will be handled tomorrow but it doesn't seem over with this family. SD is partially to blame for involving herself and not telling a teacher when these things happen but what other advise should we give her for this to stop? I don't want to do this for 4 years.
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Re: The JR high/HS bully (long)

  • clp1027clp1027
    That's a tough situation because the whole family is involved. We had a similar situation with a bully at DS's school, but the child was expelled after choking DS (after bullying him for several weeks). The only reason he was expelled was because it was caught on video. The school wasn't going to do anything about it until I raised hell and they went back and watched the tape. Most schools have video cameras now. Maybe the school could go through the video to see this boy pusing her. Good luck!
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  • littlemermaidlittlemermaid member
    I hope the school nips this in the bud now but in case they don't please document every incident/confrontation etc and what was action was taken or not taken by the school.  This will be a useful piece of evidence if you ever have to get the police involved.  I pray that it never has to come to this but it's better to be prepared if it ever does.
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  • neverblushedneverblushed member

    First of all, that's not a long post at all!!  Second of all, I'm sorry your daughter is going through this.  I teach HS and it's really hard for kids to deal with this type of stuff.  

    I would recommend you stay on top of it. 

    First, call the school and ask if she can move to a different study hall.  Next, talk with your SD about how to handle any bullying so that she doesn't become part of the problem.  Specifically, tell her that you want to help her deal with these jerks, but it's going to require that she not also act like a jerk, even if the other kids are the ones that start it.  Then, ask her every day when she comes home to tell you exactly how things went at school.  Call and report to an administrator or her guidance counselor if there's any problem. 

    The school has an obligation to act against bullying and help your SD deal with this problem.  But it's easy for schools to turn a blind eye to this or to assume that it's not a bullying situation, that it's just an ongoing argument between two kids.  Keep on the school's back until they're forced to do something about it.

    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
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  • NikkiJ19NikkiJ19

    Thanks everyone!

    Part of the problem is she is becoming part of the problem. We ran into the boy at an after school function with his parents and it was discussed. Both kids apologized and hopefully that will be okay. We will keep a close eye on it.

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