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I wish people would just use their heads.

MamaLBFMamaLBF
in Military Families

I just need to vent for a minute!

A wonderful BBQ ruined. My husband was retired in NOV for PTSD and suffers everyday from it. With that being said we were at a BBQ today with everyone from our church and were in a fenced in back yard. Three of the young adults decided itd be a good idea to go behind the fence and set off fire crackers. No warning.  After the third one went off my husband lost his cool and told me it was time to go. Hes been on edge all day, jittery, quite, and mad. Basically a whole day ruined. Why cant people use their heads? Everyone there knows about him and what hes goes through mentally. & while im ranting I hate it when people freaking pop ballons on purpose. That has the same negative effects on him. Ugh.

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Re: I wish people would just use their heads.

  • karaknrkaraknr member

    :( I am so sorry. Im sure they weren't thinking about that at all, but they probably should have. Had they considered your DH Im sure they wouldnt have done that (or maybe they just didnt think it would bother him?)

    In any case I cant even imagine having to deal with that terror everyday. I'm praying for you and your DH that the PTSD will start to recede some soon and things like that won't upset him as much anymore. God bless girl.

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  • MamaLBFMamaLBF
    imagekaraknr:

    :( I am so sorry. Im sure they weren't thinking about that at all, but they probably should have. Had they considered your DH Im sure they wouldnt have done that (or maybe they just didnt think it would bother him?)

    In any case I cant even imagine having to deal with that terror everyday. I'm praying for you and your DH that the PTSD will start to recede some soon and things like that won't upset him as much anymore. God bless girl.

    Thank you so much for your response and prayers. He needs them and honestly thats what it will take. He struggles so much. He is recieving help through the VA but nothing really seems to help him much. But, you are right, Im sure these people would have never done it if they reliezed what it did to him. I understand not everyone considers that sort of thing. They were just having fun at a BQQ. It just doesnt change how their actions effected him in such a big way...

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  • karaknrkaraknr member
    Yeah:( Well I know of many men who used to suffer from PTSD and after some time and therapy they got so much better. There is definitely hope:) One day at a time kind of thing. And 10 bucks says the baby will help him take his focus off the past and the horrors he remembers and help him put it on the future and his baby.
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  • iluvmytxrgriluvmytxrgr member
    imageMamaLBF:
    imagekaraknr:

    :( I am so sorry. Im sure they weren't thinking about that at all, but they probably should have. Had they considered your DH Im sure they wouldnt have done that (or maybe they just didnt think it would bother him?)

    In any case I cant even imagine having to deal with that terror everyday. I'm praying for you and your DH that the PTSD will start to recede some soon and things like that won't upset him as much anymore. God bless girl.

    Thank you so much for your response and prayers. He needs them and honestly thats what it will take. He struggles so much. He is recieving help through the VA but nothing really seems to help him much. But, you are right, Im sure these people would have never done it if they reliezed what it did to him. I understand not everyone considers that sort of thing. They were just having fun at a BQQ. It just doesnt change how their actions effected him in such a big way...

    I'm going to suggest you let your pastor know exactly how what happend today effected your H.  He really needs to know.  We had a similar situation at one of our church bbq's.  We had a teenager set off Black Cats.  We have several members of our church who suffer from PTSD as well as other SM's.  We let the pastor know how we all felt about it.  He and the youth minister sat down all the teenagers and explained why what they did was not funny.  They felt pretty lame after that. 

    Talk to the pastor.  He needs to let those people know what they did.  It isn't funny. 

    I'm sorry y'all had to deal with that.  People are stupid sometimes.

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  • JoBieger05JoBieger05
    Oh my...I am so sorry that happened. I do agree with the poster that said you should let your pastor know what happened. It's really sad that the people that set off the fireworks knew about your husband. It's awful. PTSD is nothing to play around with...that was just wrong what they did. I am so sorry. Thoughts and prayers for you and your husband.
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  • MamaLBFMamaLBF
    Thank you so much for all the responses ladies! Its great to have ears that understand why I was so upset. I plan on talking to my pastor. That was a great idea. Altough he wasnt at this BBQ- just lots of people from church- he could definatly remind/ or inform the younger people. Thanks so much!
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  • armybride6510armybride6510 member
    so sorry that happened...you will be in my prayers also.
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  • SandK042SandK042
    So sorry for your experience.  If you and hubby feel comfortable, you might talk to the friends that did this or their spouses.  Not confrontationally, but just to let them know the effect their foolishness had.  It may be a valuable learning experience for them.  Best wishes to your family as your husband begins the long recovery process.
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