How to explain SNs to young peers
A s/o of the post below re stares and rude comments...
We live in a great neighborhood with lots of kids, monthly happy hours, block parties, etc. I'm very open our "regular crowd" of parents re Zach's delays, therapy, etc. And thus far, none of the kids (even the older ones) have never commented on Zach's quirky behavior. I don't know if that is because the parents have talked with them about it, or if there are other reasons. I know that this will probably change, as we've gotten our first question from a kid in the neighborhood who is a few years older and is not part of our regular group.
It happened when DH was taking Zach and our dog for a walk. This kid, who is about 6 and was playing outside on the sidewalk, asked DH "Why is Zach so weird?" The kid's parents were not around at the time. DH was shell-shocked and told him something along the lines of "Don't say things about my son or I'll start saying things about you." Not very mature, productive, or age appropriate, but he was not prepared at all for the question.
I know young kids are curious and have no filter, so I tried no to take too much offense to his use of the word "weird" (though it is still heart-breaking). My thought in the future is to explain to him that all people are different, different is OK, and Zach's brain just works differently than his and so he acts differently sometimes. But I worry that using an explantion like that will lead to cruel taunts among the 5 year old crowd.
So, how do you explain SNs to a younger peer crowd?
Re: How to explain SNs to young peers
I've been working through this issue via my older daughter- she's 4.5 and *very* curious about everything Sylvie deals with, her therapies, why she acts the way she does, etc. I've learned to keep it simple with this age (say, 4-6)... something like, "Sylvie's brain works differently than your brain does, and she sometimes needs help figuring things out that are easy for you to figure out." And I use specific examples to make it more relatable, like reminding Amelia how it's easy for her to read but hard to ride a bike... I make a point to create a connection between Sylvie's "challenges" to something Amelia can relate to, so it doesn't seem so different.
It also helps that it's my own kid I can "practice" on, because I can also work on teaching Amelia about compassion and empathy, separate from Sylvie's diagnosis. This helps a ton. I realize this is almost impossible if you're not dealing with your own kids, but I like to think that Amelia might be a role model for other slightly older kids in how she perceives Sylvie... who knows, though...
Always so difficult, isn't it?
I usually tell kids when they ask that Tanners brain is different that theirs. That he may do things different than they do but he still wants to be friends with them. He has a chewy tube or will chew on toys so when children say "Why is he doing that?' I usually say why are you doing what you are doing? Probably becuase you like it right?, Well Tanner likes chewing on that'? Or when they say "Why doesn't he talk?' I just say his brain doesn't know how to make him talk
I realize writing that out it sounds kind of snotty, but when I'm explaining it to them I'm sure it sounds much better.
Its so hard to know what to say in these situations without getting all medical on a bunch of little kids, kwim?