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She's 5 and still can't make it to the toilet!?

My youngest sister starts kindergarten next week. She wets her pants several times a day and my parents don't do anything about it except yell at her, which doesn't seem to be working. They only have one bathroom in the house, so I can understand her wetting herself if the bathroom is occupied.. but, she can't even make it to the toilet when she's only a few feet away and there's no one in there. However, if we have her out at the mall or something, she can usually make it from one end to the other if we run her to the bathroom and repeatedly tell her not to pee her pants and to hold it just a tiny bit farther. She tends to wait until the last possible moment to run to the bathroom at home, though and she almost never makes it. My parents have a hard time finding her clean pants to wear after an accident because it's impossible to keep up with her laundry. I'm frustrated with the whole situation and I don't even live at home anymore. I'm expecting my first child in January and it's a boy. I've heard boys are harder to potty train than girls, but I don't want him peeing his pants until he's 5! I think that's a bit ridiculous. I guess what I'm getting at is, does anyone have any tips or secrets to help my sister make it to the toilet. How old were your children by the time they stopped wetting themselves and how did you potty train them?

Re: She's 5 and still can't make it to the toilet!?

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    It's very possible that she has a medical condition that needs to be treated. At 5, she should be able to control her bladder voluntarily- and quite easily.  There's a good chance she will not be allowed to stay in Kindergarten until she can control her bladder. She needs to be seen by her pediatrician ASAP. This could be easily treatable, or it could be something more serious that needs attention. I hate to even mention it, but pants wetting can also be a sign of abuse. I know she's not your child and you probably dont have a lot of control over her life, but clearly you are concerned about her. Do what you can to get her to the Dr, even if it means taking her yourself if you can.
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    I know she's not abused. I just moved out recently (within the last month) and this has been going on for a very long time. There's a very big age gap between her and my other siblings though. There's 5 of us, I'm almost 19, sister is 16, brother turns 15 on Tuesday, another sister is 13, and Sarah is 5. I'll talk to my mom later tonight about taking her to see the doctor. If there's nothing wrong with her bladder, could it be the big age gap between her and the rest of us?
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    imageemiliemadison:
    .It's very possible that she has a medical condition that needs to be treated. At 5, she should be able to control her bladder voluntarily- and quite easily.  There's a good chance she will not be allowed to stay in Kindergarten until she can control her bladder. She needs to be seen by her pediatrician ASAP. This could be easily treatable, or it could be something more serious that needs attention. I hate to even mention it, but pants wetting can also be a sign of abuse. I know she's not your child and you probably don't have a lot of control over her life, but clearly you are concerned about her. Do what you can to get her to the Dr, even if it means taking her yourself if you can.

    I completely agree with this.  Get her to the Dr!!  She could have a recurring bladder infection.  I had one while I was pregnant, OMG.  I wet myself nonstop.  It was completely embarrassing.  It felt like someone was using my bladder as a stress ball.  Or she could have a kidney infection or UTI.  I also second the sign of abuse.  Recurrent UTIs and bladder infections are frequently seen in little girls who are abused.  Or it just could be a subconscious bladder release.  Either way, she needs to be seen by a Dr.  Being yelled at by your parents won't help her at all.

    Also, my 5 yo sometimes doesn't make it to the bathroom.  It's not nearly as frequent as with your sister though.  It only happens once every few weeks.  With him it's because he gets so wrapped up in what he's doing, he doesn't want to step away to go to the bathroom, he's afraid he'll miss something.  While I don't think this could be what's going on, I just thought I'd throw this out there.  You never know.

    GL!  Hope things get better for your sister!

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    She used to complain about her "peepee burning". I didn't think about an infection. I'll definately bring this up to my mother. However, you have a good point about your son not wanting to miss anything. That might be part of her problem. She wants to be like the big kids and do everything they do, so she plays games a lot and gets distracted from the rest of the world lol.
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    imagegeorgia_aust:
    I know she's not abused. I just moved out recently (within the last month) and this has been going on for a very long time. There's a very big age gap between her and my other siblings though. There's 5 of us, I'm almost 19, sister is 16, brother turns 15 on Tuesday, another sister is 13, and Sarah is 5. I'll talk to my mom later tonight about taking her to see the doctor. If there's nothing wrong with her bladder, could it be the big age gap between her and the rest of us?

    Not all abuse can be seen.  No one knew my Dad was abusing me for 7 years.

    I highly doubt that the age gap between her and the rest of the siblings would be cause of her bladder issues.  There's gotta be something going on.  Either health wise or psychologically.  What she's doing is NOT normal behavior for a 5 year old, or even a 4 year old.

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    imagegeorgia_aust:
    She used to complain about her "peepee burning". I didn't think about an infection. I'll definately bring this up to my mother. However, you have a good point about your son not wanting to miss anything. That might be part of her problem. She wants to be like the big kids and do everything they do, so she plays games a lot and gets distracted from the rest of the world lol.

    Sounds like UTI or bladder infection.

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    She could have an "immature" (undersized) bladder (my older sister had this problem, she would go from empty to needing a bathroom immediately in seconds b/c her bladder was small).  She really should see a urologist, but the best remedy for that is to go to the bathroom often.  Has she been to preschool?  How did she do there?  Sometimes kids do better when there are set times for bathroom breaks if they're often enough.  You parents can try taking her to the bathroom everything there is a transition during the day, such as before a meal, before going outside, before starting a new activity, etc. 
    DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12
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    Ditto the pps who suggest taking her to the doctor.  Is she eating or drinking a lot?  Does she wet the bed?  This could be a sign of something a little more serious, so definitely, get her checked out.


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    My SD is 5 and has an appointment to see a urologist on Sept. 3rd, however I think it is completely unwarranted. She had several accidents during the first week of kindergarten - most of them happened in the bathroom while she was trying to get her shorts down. DH and I think it was just the newness of it all; new teacher, new kids, new classroom, etc. and she was getting distracted and not wanting to leave to go to the bathroom.

    BUT

    I do think your sister needs to go to the doctor, at least. SD doesn't have accidents at home, and rarely wets the bed anymore. It sounds like your sister is having some issues, either medical or mental. If a doctor's visit reveals nothing medical, a counselor might be able to help. Good luck. 

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    Give her reminders every couple of hours or so to try and go potty. This way she doesn't wait until the last minute. 
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    First of all, this is not a problem that is going to be solved by yelling.  Your parents making your sister feel bad about what is happening isn't going to make her suddenly able to make it to the toilet.

    It is possible that there is something else going on that is causing her bladder control issues.  This is something that needs to be brought up with her pediatrician.   

    If your sister continues to wet her pants frequently while in school you can bet that the teacher will be bringing it up with your parents and will expect something to be done about it.  I teach kindergarten and if I had a student wetting themselves multiple times a day I would think that something was wrong and would stay on top of it until the issue was resolved.  If the parents did not put forth an effort to correct the problem then I would stop letting the student change clothes at school and would call the parents to come bring clothes each time because, sometimes, inconveniencing the parents is the only way to get your point across.  

    Perhaps try instituting some kind of reward system for your sister.  Like, every day (or morning/afternoon or even shorter time frames if needed) she gets through with dry pants she gets a sticker on a chart.  After she gets so many stickers she gets a reward.

    BUT, I would still bring up this issue with her doctor just to make sure there isn't an underlying medical cause. 


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