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1st Trimester
Name confusion..
So my boyfriend and I were together for a year. I found out two weeks after we broke up that I was pregnant. At first he wanted nothing to do with the baby or pregnancy and even asked me if I would tell people that it was somebody news baby. It's been nearly two months and he now decides to come around and "be here" for the baby. He still hasn't told anyone about the situation and now he is saying that if we have a boy that I have to give him his last name. But if we have a girl then she can have mine. Should I even debate this with him? I have an 8 year old son from a previous relationship who has his father's last name. I don't want to have two children and neither have my last name. I feel that if we're not even together, then I really don't owe him anything. Especially the honor of giving my baby his last name... Any opinions or advice?
Oh I guess I should also say that this situation would be a lot easier if he wasn't a relative of my best friend. She ended up marrying his father so he's now her step-son.. I don't want to cause any problems between her and her husband or between her and me =(
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Re: Name confusion..
This. You owe him nothing. He can still be a father to his child, the last name doesn't need to be his. He sounds very wishy washy to me...
This! Either he needs to accept that boy or girl it will have his last name or the baby gets your last name. If it were me I would give the baby my last name because of the situation. And as PP have said he doesnt seem too supportive so I wouldn't give baby his last name. Also who's insurance would the baby be under? Does that matter as far as last names? I know my friend had a baby and her insurance company told her that the baby had to have her last name to be covered. Even if this isnt true if you need an "excuse" for your ex because you want the baby to have your last name you can always say that you called ur insurance company and they said the baby must have your last name. Not that you should need an excuse to give the baby your last name but just in case you felt you needed one.
This! He sounds like a real peach. I would simply explain to him that you don't think it's a good idea and leave it at that. Who says something like that?!??!
That is RIDICULOUS. I wouldn't even consider it. This is clearly about his ego, not about your (or your baby's) well-being. Does that mean he's only going to stick around if it's a boy? I don't see one single reason why you would want to give this child his last name.
I find it rude that he only wants to pass on his name if it's a boy. What a jerk.
Give the baby your name. You're right, you don't owe this guy anything that special.
TTC#1 Chart
TTC#2 Chart
IUI #1 - #4 (repronex trigger) = BFN
IUI#5 on 10/28/2008 ** BFP 11/10/08 ** EDD 07/21/09 *** It's a GIRL (07/14/09)
med/treatment free BFP 06/28/10. EDD 03/05/11 *** GIRL #2 (02/23/11)
beta#1 @ 17dpo = 1296 .... beta#2 @ 19dpo = 3034
it's the Bug and Baby Belle!
This. If by some miracle he completely changes his tune by the time the baby is born then make your decision when the time comes but I think him only wanting a boy to have his last name should tell you how serious he is about being there for you and this baby. You don't owe him anything and I will just say that my SIL has two children by two different fathers and neither of them have her last name. I can't help but wonder how much that bothers her since she is not married to the most recent one and the first father is hardly in the picture..not to mention she made baby #2 a junior. Don't make your decision to please him.
I totally agree.