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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
I want to TTC but...
DH says he doesn't feel ready... even though we talked earlier in the summer and kind of planned and were excited about trying this fall...
he just fears some unknowns - loving two kids, having "enough" time, my new job, me being stressed out and pregnant, DD not adjusting, him not being settled in his career choice, us not being in a house... things that either aren't our reality or ideas and things that he thinks NEED to be figured out before another baby.
It just makes me sad because 1) I am sooo ready and have been since DD was 9mo, 2) I don't/won't force him or trick him in any way into having a baby and obviously I can't conceive on my own so I have to wait for him to feel ready... and I have no idea when that will be.
NOTE: we have a great marriage and are fine financially... he does want to eventually have 2-3 more children... and I live more by my heart, faith, and emotions, while DH is more logical and worries/fears the known.
Anyone been here? Emphasize? Advice?
and 
know my hubby just wants what is best, but hurt that his views "trump" mine when my entire-being wants another baby so badly (not a baby for me to complete me or anything, but a baby for our family - I look forward to seeing my DD become a big sister, being a young, energetic mom for all my kids, and I am excited that I won't be so stressed and worried during my next pregnancy... as we lost our first child to miscarriage and then I feared the worst throughout the entire time I was pregnant with my DD).
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Re: I want to TTC but...
if there is a hurry it would be
1) want to have all our kids when we are younger and energetic
2) I am district school nurse, so having a spring/early summer baby would mean that I would get to be home with baby for 3-4mo... it sounds wonderfully perfect (that is how we did it with my daughter too)
we're in a similar situation. I think I'm ready, I wanted to start trying this summer, but DH isn't. I think he's scared as to how another baby will change things, especially considering how DD is entering her terrible twos a little early. I see all these babies and i think I'm ready, I don't want to wait too long, and it took a while for us to have DD, so I'm thinking it may take a while for the next one too and I dont' want them to be too far apart.
Not really sure what to say. It's a rough situation
.
sorry that you are in the same boat... it isn't a fun place to be.
I am so passionate and ready for another baby that sometimes I get emotional about it or it can come out as frustration towards DH. Just wish he would take a leap of faith with me. We are ready. He is just worried - as I understand guys usually are.
Hope our #2 will come sooner than later...
and our DHs learn to live and let-go a bit.
Have you talked about the future, as in how close in age you want your children to be. There are always going to be a bunch of small things that can seem like priority before hand but in reality, a baby wont really effect. Maybe he's just feeling overwhelmed right now and reminding him of why he originally wanted to TTC this fall, and of the positives can help him come around.
I don't know how old you are but if you're under 35, then no need to hurry. If I were younger I would wait til DS is at least 2 but I don't have that luxury. That said, DH feels the same as yours, he's not ready yet but obviously we can't wait too long due to my age (I'm 40). He has the same issues yours has... will we be able to handle 2 kids, will I be able to work at all (I'm not working now), what will happen financially (we are renting, lost our home in Florida b/c of the bad market, have little savings and DH's salary is not great).
I think if you can wait, that would be the best thing. You could get your finances in order and DH will feel more ready. Good luck with whatever you decide but obviously, don't get pregnant if you and your DH are not on the same page, having one kid is hard enough, two must be nuts!!!