January 2011 Moms
midnight*sun
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RP - E-vites to Baby shower?
midnight*sun
member
(I thought I was posting to this board, but realized it was actually on the 2nd tri board. Ooops.)
Two of my close gfs are planning my baby shower and requested a list with email addresses for everyone I wanted to invite because they are sending e-vites. Basically an email inviting them. WDYT?
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Re: RP - E-vites to Baby shower?
I think it's much more appropriate to send regular invitations, but compared to a lot of other etiquette breeches, not too bad.
I recently received an e-vite for a bridal shower and actually didn't even realize until a few days later "hey - that's weird, it was an e-mail invitation.."
I don't know how older generations would feel about it, though, and many of them may not check or even have e-mail (my mom has never used a computer in her life!).
DD (5 years old) from IUI in 2012
TTC 3rd and final!: IUI #1 in progress!
Ok, so the girls that are throwing my baby shower also threw my bachelorette party. They sent out e-vites for it and it was a disaster. They kept emailing me asking me to ask girls they didn't know to check their email because they hadn't received notification that they were received and some never got them because of spam blockers.
Is there a tactful way to request "real" invitations. Should I offer to pay for them?
(This is also a repost from the 2nd tri board. Dang you PC! Dang you!)
Doesn't bother me and though it is not traditional, I cannot think of anything improper about it. My bridal shower was an evite. Since I am pretty eco-friendly, saving the paper, ink, and transport resources totally reflects our values. If cuteness is important to you then I think an evite or emailing a PDF invitation is better than just a plain text email.
More Green For Less Green
I should add that the invite I had received was like this, a PDF, so it looked exactly like a real invite you'd receive in the mail just on the screen. A text e-mail invite would be terrible!
DD (5 years old) from IUI in 2012
TTC 3rd and final!: IUI #1 in progress!
It depends on who's invited. If it's a friends-only shower, then evites would probably be fine, since you're all going to be close to the same page in terms of technology. In my case, I don't think my mom even has an e-mail address, so if she were invited only via evite, she'd never RSVP.
If you'd like them to send paper invites, I'd stick with something like that... you're not sure that several people on your list are tech savvy enough to respond to the evite properly, so it'll be easier for everyone involved to just send a paper invitation.
Maybe (hopefully this isn't too tacky) buy some invitations you like and say "I found these on clearance and thought they were just adorable. Since you were planning to do an evite would you mind sending these out instead. I also was a little concerned that some of my relatives may not check their email?" Or something along those lines...
People talking about the older folks in the group reminded me that for my bridal shower the people who were not email users they got either a paper invitation or a phone call inviting them. I don't remember which way it went.
More Green For Less Green
I would not be ok with this for my shower, I know a lot of people use email and the internet these days but there are so many people that would prefer a regular/mailed invite - I know I would.
I would suggest to the people throwing the shower do the regular invite via snail mail and just list a few options for people to RSVP at - email & phone, that way you have everyone covered.
I think it is much more fun to find a cute little invite in my mailbox, I look forward to this when summer time comes for wedding invites and baby showers, etc. Thats just me though...
~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
[spoiler]
I agree with this. If it's just friends I think it's fine. I don't think it's cool, though, to send Grandma an e-vite.
Carina 12.28.2010 | Aurelia 9.23.12 | Chart - Round 3
My thoughts exactly. I love to get mail that is not a bill, and if my Great Aunt Madeleine got evites she would never show up for anything
As PP have said I think it's fine depending on who you are inviting.
As far as politely asking for regular mailable invites, I would just say that it didn't work for you last time and explain what you told us. If they are throwing you a shower, you must be close with them. I can't imagine any of my close friends caring if I'd rather have paper invites.
I agree with pps, depends on the makeup of your guest list. Or like a pp said, you could evite some, send regular invites to others.
I'm just now learning the evite process, being secretary of our alumnae chapter here and inviting everyone to meetings/events... but I'd rather get some snail mail. I'm excited to start collecting addresses and writing out invites... I'm actively helping plan my shower because I'm not a fan of awkwardness haha
Maybe you can just remind them of the disaster it was last time, and say that if money for them is a concern that you can pay for them? Or explain that a lot of your family doesn't have email and/or would be offended by an evite? OR all three?
I think it is tacky also....
I think it's tacky, but I guess it really depends on your guests. If everybody is big on e-mailing, online registries, etc. then it might be appropriate. I've hosted some bridal & baby showers and I've never e-mailed invitations. However, both my and DH's families aren't exactly computer-savy. A lot of them don't have the internet and have no idea how to e-mail.
Could you call your friends & tell them that you would perfer to have paper invites sent out, b/c not everyone has e-mail? It sounds like they're trying to save $$ on paper, envelopes, & stamps. If you don't mind helping, you could offer to address the envelopes & mail them so you know the invites actually get sent.
Personally, I find the evite for a "formal" get together like a shower a bit tacky. They are perfect for an information gathering or maybe if the shower was a small gathering of close girl friends, but for a shower with family members and friends that requires someone to bring you a gift, I think a formal invitation is much more appropriate.
My mom mentioned an evite for my shower and I'm biting my tongue hoping my MIL and sister will step and say no. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but at the same time, I would be disappointed if there wasn't an actual invitation.
Love evites and have received several for recent baby showers. Personally, I find snail mail invitations to be an unnecessary expense for the host/ess and irresponsible for the environment. The only exception would be for a wedding - a truly formal event. I don't consider showers to be formal events.
Everyone in my family uses the internet and email - even the oldest generations.
That being said, if it was a disaster previously, I would request snail mail - to save you the stress. Or make it clear to the women hosting that you won't be the one tracking people down who don't open the evite - that should be their responsibility. This should be enjoyable for you, not extra work.