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For those of you who were abused as kids...

MyOwnLadyMyOwnLady
in Babies: 3 - 6 Months
Are you afraid of continuing the cycle? My mom used to beat the living sh*t out of me, and I know that I wouldn't ever do that to my baby, but maybe she said the same thing to herself when I was born...I just can't see myself getting to the point where I would hit my son. I might swat him on the butt when he gets older, but will probably use Time Out more than anything....thoughts?
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Re: For those of you who were abused as kids...

  • AgoAgo member
    I've never been abused in my childhood, but I think you are already far ahead of your mother by leaps and bounds.  I work in child welfare and I think you are right that your mom didn't think to herself "Hey, I'm going to beat the crap out of my kid," but there may have been other factors that lead to this (maybe mental illness or substance abuse? Just some common ones I see).  It is also true that those who are abused are more likely to abuse, as I think they haven't learned any other coping skills and only know how to model what was used with them.  I think if you are able to recognize your triggers and there are lots of other methods on managing kids and their behaviors, you are going to be a fantastic mother.
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  • cearleyjaycearleyjay

    i wouldnt consider myself abused, but i did get the belt one time and she did slap me a couple times.  i know that my mom was very much abused when she was a child.  i know she made an improvement on that situation.  looking back i now realize that the belt was much needed. 

    as for me, i swore i would never do it.  yesterday i came real close though.  my DD now 4 has a mind of her own.  i have tried time outs and they are not working anymore.  i try to let her scream it out and ignore her.  that doesnt work.  so yesterday on my way home i told her i was going to pull over and give her a spanking if she didnt stop with her tantrum. i dont think i could have done it, but she stopped.

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