What do you do?

Ioulia · August 2010

I have been feeling anxious all day and a lot of it is coming from the fact that since losing Nikolai at 22 weeks, I'm frequently in a place emotionally where I don't know what to do. So I came to this board again tonight, like I do so often when I feel sad or alone or paralyzed with grief, to ask what you do. What do you do when you're not sure what to do?

Do you have tips or tricks or coping mechanisms that you've developed? How do you keep pace with the world when it seems to be moving along without you?

Stretchad · August 2010

I don't know. I haven't figured this out yet. I'm thinking about talking to a therapist to help.

I end up lurking TTCAL or the Molar Pregnancy board on Babycenter.com waiting for posts to comment on. Or, researching information on molar pregnancies (I had a partial molar pregnancy). I probably shouldn't do that.

I can't even sit there and just watch tv, or work, or cook. Doing anything mindless just makes my mind wander to the baby I lost. I feel like it's almost all that i can think about....

I'm sorry I can't be of any help. But just wanted to let you know you're not alone.

Stretchad · August 2010

Oh and I wanted to say, I like your picture of the LOLCat as your icon :-)

angiemedic56 · August 2010

I honestly wish I had an answer as well. It's only been 18 days since I said goodbye to Aiden and I've been living life in a haze with no direction. I have good days and I have really sh!tty days where my biggest accomplishment for that day is just getting out of bed.

I wish you strength and love.

allybaby85 · August 2010

I get like that some times. I just try to take a little time out for myself, sometimes after I cry I feel a little better. Some days I just feel like I'm in a fog.

Lorange-8 · August 2010

I'm sorry your feeling like this.

itsmevkb · September 2010

Sometimes I feel as though everyone around me is moving forward and I'm just stuck in place and it's not the place I want to be. The only way I get through things is to think about the future and try to formulate a plan of how to get to where I want to be. Somedays it's big plans about trying to conceive again and other days it's just a small plan about when I'm going to do the laundry or the grocery shopping, etc. I guess having at least some kind of a plan comforts me.

Oh, and I eat chocolate cake! Certainly not the best coping mechanism but I say whatever works is fine.

ravenorchid · September 2010

I often feel the same way. Sometimes I write - poetry or a letter to my LO. I like to think she can hear me, so sometimes I play her a song and it just comforts me. If I am feeling overwhelmed by grief, I don't try to fight it. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

danie330 · September 2010

I spend a lot of time here - either lurking or posting. Sometimes it's just nice to feel like you're with people who understand. Even though my family and friends have been great, I just don't feel like they need to hear me talk about it all of the time.

Fortunately, the good days are lasting longer and coming more often. But the sad days still hit me hard. (Today is one of those days for me.)

I hope you have found some comfort in these replies! Sometimes these are the only things that help for me.

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