Stay at Home Moms
Options
The Great Divide?
Do you ever feel like the relationship between some of your WM friends and you have taken a toll since you SAH? I guess my question is- Do you ever feel like there is a separation between you and your WM friends? Do you feel like they have dropped you like a hot potato because you SAH?
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: The Great Divide?
I'm going through this right now, as before I was a teacher. (this past June) And all summer they had "time" for me or were communicating with me. Now they are back to work and I feel a bit dropped. I know how crazy the beginning of the school year feels, but yesterday I my facebook status was:
Good luck to my former colleagues with your first day back with the kiddos! I'll be thinking of you today!
Responses:
Yea right
Ditto that
and: I know you're trying to be nice, but shut up
Um ?!?????????????? really?????? You don't think that a) I might miss teaching, b) I didn't him/haw over this decision to give up my career and be a SAHM? Really?
So I'm taking a break from FB for a few days and just hanging out on my mom group board. I'll return to FB and chatting with my working friends when the beginning of the school year dust settles. Otherwise I'm going to feel left out or get my feelings hurt.
No, that doesn't happen in my circle of friends. I don't have tons of friends though.
The only difference is that we see each other less often.
For me- not really because I straddle both sides of the fence.
I do see my SAHM friends more obviously because I am more available during the day to do things. But I do enjoy meeting my WM out for a bite to eat or happy hour when they are done work.
Most of my mom friends are pretty laid back and we are all just 'moms' no matter what is done during the 9-5hrs. I am pretty lucky for that. That being said- i am sure there is jealousy on both ends to some degree (grass is always greener most days). They want to see their kids more and I want to pee in private. Just how the cookie crumbles!
At the end of the day though- i am pretty lucky to have supportive friends both that SAH and work.
Yes. There has been serious difficulties. But I think that it also has to do with parenting styles and not just the SAHM/WM thing. DH and I are pretty AP and a lot of friends are the complete opposite so that has made it difficult. But the whole SAHM thing is an issue as well.
One friend was upset with me because she wanted me to be her DCP and I told her I didn't want to do that full-time but would be willing to watch her on occasion. She had a hard time respecting that I just wanted to be at home with my LO. She wanted to know how I didn't get bored, what did I do all day, etc. She has actually given me a hard about it multiple times. I don't feel like the need to defend my lifestyle so we don't talk as often.
Another friend likes to go shopping a lot, go out to eat, etc. just basically spend money. So that has made it hard because DH and I needed to cut back on frivolous spending for me to SAH and when I suggest we do things that are cheap/free she doesn't want to so we end up not doing anything.
But I am willing to lose a couple of friends if I feel what we are doing what is best for our family. Kind if sad but it is what it is.
Eleanor 9.30.13
Yes. I hate to sound like I'm blaming "them", but I am. My WM friends treat me differently. I had one friend admit she was jealous of me staying at home and I have a feeling that is the problem with the ones that have pushed me away. I know my working friends are busy, but it takes them weeks to call me back, and they never call me first. When I do see or talk to them, all I hear is "It must be nice" comments. This has made me much more close to all the sahm friends that I have.
I read posts about moms who love working and don't mind daycare, but these aren't my friends. I wish they were happy with their situations because then I think we would be closer.
Um, your work "friends" sound like they really hate their job. And the people that I used to hang out with FROM work have pretty much disappoeared. But I expected as much. They are busy and pretty far away from here.
I think this is a good point. I have a group of 6 friends from college and I'm the only SAHM. However, they all love their jobs and I love SAH, so we respect each other's decisions and it's a non issue. And since we have such a long history, our friendships aren't based on being moms.
I truly have never felt any WM vs SAHM issues except on the Nest! I am sorry if your friends are giving you a hard time, and nasty responses on FB (to the other poster) are just immature.