Desperate for opinions! (long, sorry!) — The Bump
2nd Trimester

Desperate for opinions! (long, sorry!)

This is my first time to post on the boards. I apologize for the length of my post, but I really need all the opinions I can get. Thanks!

I was at my in-laws last night showing them some pictures on facebook when I saw an update from my cousin, who is also expecting and due in Dec (a month after me). Her post said that her husband was able to feel Brianna move. I was completely shocked because our top name choice is Brianne, and I have never discussed names with her (it isn?t a family name either). And now I don't know if I even like it as much!

This isn't the first time something like this has happened with us. We both got engaged and married within a few weeks of one another, we almost chose the same bridesmaid dresses, our wedding colors were identical, the flowers were practically the same, as well as the cake- all without any prior discussion. 

My family, including DH, thinks it?s ok to still use Brianne for our daughter.  I think otherwise. I feel like it takes away from the ?specialness? and uniqueness of our daughter. I know I?m being selfish but I don?t want anyone I know to use the same name we do, especially when it?s another family member and they?re born only a month apart. Am I being ridiculous? Would you stick with the name or choose a different one? Please help!

Re: Desperate for opinions! (long, sorry!)

  • I guess it really depends on how much you actually see your cousin and their child(ren).  I know that I hardly ever see my cousin, let alone their children, so I probably wouldn't be overly concerned about having similar names.

    If you are going to see them a lot, or if it makes you uncomfortable to have such similar names, than use a different name.

    I know, I was no help... 

  • for me that would be a deal breaker for the name. even if I don;t see them that often other family members probably will and I wouldn't want my child being compared to hers.

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  • To me it depends on how often the two little girls would be seeing each other. If you'd see each other only a few times a year at holidays I wouldn't worry about it. If they are going to live down the street and go to the same school or something I'd probably think of choosing something new.

     Since they have already "gone public" with their name you can't very well ask them to change it, but I would definitely be tempted to pick something else.

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                                     **DS 12/17/10** **#2 Due 2/14/15**

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  • Yeah I think I would end up changing the name too. If you love the name though and want to keep it there is nothing wrong with that either. Basically it all comes down to how attached you were to that name and if it would really bother you for your cousins kid to have the same name.
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  • imageLucky_Dragonfly:

    for me that would be a deal breaker for the name. even if I don;t see them that often other family members probably will and I wouldn't want my child being compared to hers.

    I agree.If it were me, I would change it
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  • The one thing is you have the advantage of having your baby first. I may suggest you explain to her that you planned on naming your daughter Brianne, and would like to follow through with your plan.

    Then see how she reacts. She may give in since your due first. Maybe sugguest to her or ask if she could use Brianna as a middle name, or you switch yours to the middle game.

    I would just be civil and honest about it.

    I wanted to use Sophia, by DH has a lowlife cousin with a child named Sophia who we have never met and probably will never meet.  He doesnt care for his cousin, so he wouldnt even allow the name to be used again. I was soo torn, but we have since moved on to other names.  

     

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  • This happened to my parents when I was born. My aunt was due the same month as my mom. So my mom and her made a deal whoever was born first got the name Jenny. I was born second so they named me Kelley instead. Everyone I tell that story to laugh and say "good you don't look like a Jenny anyway!" 

    Just remember you can't control what others do. What if someone else in the family or group of friends come along a few years down the road and names their child the same name simply because they like it? It's not going to make your child's name any less special.

    p.s. the name doesn't make your daughter unique... She's unique before she's even born!!! :)  

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