Im so sick of hearing.... — The Bump
Trouble TTC

Im so sick of hearing....

I know for me I get really tired of hearing people saying certain things to me when they are not having tttc and they dont understand anything im going through. A couple of the most annoying things are:

"Everything happens for a reason"

"It will happen when the time is right"

"Your thinking too much about it"

"Do you feel any different? Do you feel pregnant?" (after IUI)

What do you hate to hear?

BabyFetus Ticker BabyFruit Ticker TTC since June 2009 Nov. 2009: Lap, diagnosed mild endo April 2010: SA, 4% morph Aug 2010: IUI #1: BFN, Sept 2010:IUI #2: BFN, Oct 2010: IUI #3: BFN, Nov 2010: IUI #4: BFN, Dec 2010: IUI #5: BFN, March 2012: IVF w/ ICSI #1: BFN, May 2012: IVF w/ ICSI #2: Beta#1:19, Beta#2:9 ,chemical pregnancy, July 2012: FET: 2 4BB Embryos 5DT: 8/2 HPT: BFP, Beta 8/13: 80

Re: Im so sick of hearing....

  • "Just relax, enjoy this time with your husband", yeah, let me enjoy the time waiting at doc offices, and seeing his face when I tell him that biology isn't working!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I hate hearing...

    "You are young and have plenty of time"

    "Maybe if you just time it right it will happen" I want to scream, "Oh yes OPK Tests in conjunction with ultrasounds monitoring my follicles and perfectly timing IUIs won't work but timing it right with intercourse will do the trick."

    Charlie was born 12/15!!!
  • Loading the player...
  • imageshawna1517:

    I know for me I get really tired of hearing people saying certain things to me when they are not having tttc and they dont understand anything im going through. A couple of the most annoying things are:

    "Everything happens for a reason"

    "It will happen when the time is right"

    "Your thinking too much about it"

    "Do you feel any different? Do you feel pregnant?" (after IUI)

    What do you hate to hear?

    Yep. All of these. Bleh.

    photo dune-1-1.jpg
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
  • I hate hearing "just be patient it will happen". It's just so hard to be positive after so much disappointment.  
    BabyFruit Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imageshawna1517:

    I know for me I get really tired of hearing people saying certain things to me when they are not having tttc and they dont understand anything im going through. A couple of the most annoying things are:

    "Everything happens for a reason"

    "It will happen when the time is right"

    "Your thinking too much about it"

    "Do you feel any different? Do you feel pregnant?" (after IUI)

    What do you hate to hear?

    Yep hate hearing these too.

    Oh yeah and my mom "Well I don't understand why your having problems no one else in the family had problems." Gee mom thanks that helps so much.

    Or "Well you know it took my husband and I 11 months to get pregnant." Thanks they say it takes the average couple a year so glad you?re in the average I'm not!!!

    imageimage
    image
    TTC Since 2/2009
    2/2010 - 5/2010 Testing with OBGYN
    8/2010 First RE Appointment
    11/2010 Second Opinion RE Appointment
    12/2010 Clomid + IUI #1 = BFN
    1/2011 Clomid + IUI #2 = BFN
    2/2011 Clomid + IUI #3 = BFN
    5/2011 IVF #1, ET 6/2, Beta 6/15 = BFN
    8/2011 FET ET 9/12 = BFN :0(
    On a break to save money.
    1/2012 IVF #2 ER 1/12, ET 1/15, Beta 1/27 = BFFN
    4/2012 FET ET ??/?? =
    p/saif welcome
  • I hate when people who know we're trying say: "Do you wish you had started trying sooner?" or "Well, at least you're on the sunnyside of 40."  Ugh. Women and Age...toxic combination.

    I also hate when people make comments about us going to a RE and using fertility treatments...like..."Are you worried about ending up like Kate plus 8?" I think most people think fertility treatment is like going to the candy store...I wish more people knew everything that is involved!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • All of the above!

    Plus I hate: "Oh just borrow one of my kids, you'll soon change your mind about wanting one". Err, ok, thanks. I'm going through all this because I'm not really sure I want a baby.

    Another one I've had (twice) from a friend with an ooops pregnancy: "Have you really been trying all this time? I mean, REALLY trying?"  Ohhh, I get it, I've been doing it wrong, thanks for letting me know.

     

    TTC #1 since 03/09 Dx Unexplained
    Jan to April 2010 - Clomid - All BFN
    June 2010 - IVF - BFN
    Oct 2010 - FET #1 - BFN
    Dec 2010 - endometrial biopsy
    Jan 2011 - Surprise BFP! - m/c at 6w5d
    March 2011 - FET #2. Thawed 11 Day 1 embryos; 5 'exploded' / possible lab error?
    ET 4/2/11 transferred 1 blast & 1 morula
    Beta#1 10dp5dt =81; Beta#2 12dp5dt =222 Beta#3 16dp5dt =1337
    It's a BOY!!! BabyFruit Ticker
  • Ugh. I got the "everything happens for a reason" from my dad last night. I wanted to strangle him, since he and my mom went through IF--usually he does better than that!
    Trying to grow our family with both fertility treatments and adoption since March 2009 
    IUIs#1-4 = BFN, IVF#1 = c/p, IVF#2 = OHSS, FET#1=BFP
    BabyFruit Ticker
    image
  • I heard this on Sunday:

    "Oh, I know a girl who'd be trying for 5 years, then she all of a sudden got pregnant. It'll happen, hun."

    Ok, great - so nevermind that it's been 1 year for me - maybe it'll happen in 5 years like your friend.  All-of-a-sudden!  Poof! 

    Yippy-do-dah.

    <p>[IMG]http://i1206.photobucket.com/albums/bb451/jkelly7885/8a1a9ded-49ef-4096-8ccd-ef11533d1768_zpsf25317b7.jpg[/IMG]<p>

    1 Ruptured Ectopic m/c,
    1 Chemical Pregnancy m/c,
    2 rounds of Clomid,
    2 rounds of IUI,
    1 miracle BFP while waiting to start IVF!
    <p>~High five to my eBFF Chloe!~
  • I agree with all of the above.

    I also hate it when I look tired or am not feeling well, people always ask me if I'm pregnant. When I say no, that I have a headach or whatever, they start smiling and asking me when I last took a pregnancy test, etc. Excuse me, but is that really any of your business???? And trust me, I would know if I was pregnant. Grrr...

    Baby Girl! photo photo-3.jpgphoto 03_Portraits_0537.jpg
    BabyFetus Ticker 

  • Lets see...so now people have started to ask when we will try, i tell them actually we are. They respond with, like really trying or just thinking about it???? So i say, no we are actively trying. Then they love to say just relax, or it'll happen when you least expect it, or don't stress it'll happen when you're not stressed. Depending on the person i tell them that i am seeing an RE for IF treatments and then they either shut up or are intersted and i tell them that it is stressful, it wont happen naturally, i cant relax, it will happen when the right combination of medication works and no it is not going to happen because he left his socks on, i stood on my head or got a dog!!!

    (i kid you not, these are things i have been told!)

    TTC #1 with PCOS since 1/10

    6/10-10/10 Clomid 100&150mg~ cancelled,no response,Provera

    11/10 Gonal F+Lupron trigger- OHSS,coast,trigger,no O,Provera

    Lap 12/28/10- Polyps and Endo removed

    April 11 IVF #1~ <3twins<3= m/c 5w3d D&C 5/20

    June 11 IVF #2~ m/c 6w1d D&C 9/1

    2 copies of MTHFR found: C677T & A1298C

    Jan 12- 2000mgs Metformin

    May 12 IVF #3- Lupron 5/29,Stims 6/8,ER 6/17-25R, 20M, 16F w/ICSI,3 snowbabies, ET 6/22 of one 5AA blast, Beta #1- 62, Beta #2- 98.6, Beta #3- 196. Please let this be our sticky take home baby

    **Praying 3rd time's the charm!!**



    ~*All Are Welcome*~

    .:Impatience is not a fertility issue:.


    [IMG]http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e67/Jezebell26/badge-2.png[/IMG]


    <a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lpmf.lilypie.com/FwmSm5.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Premature Baby tickers" /></a>
  • You're young! You have time!

    I can't help but take that as an insult. As if it's too early or weird to want to grow your family after 5 years of marriage.(Almost 10 years together)

    I'm don't think I'm impatient. It's not that I want to be pregnant right now.

    Unless someone can see the future and tell me 100% that I actually do end up having a child that would really take the pressure off this whole "you have time" issue. 

     

    Married to the love of my life since 2005
    TTC #1 - 
    BFP # 1: 5/2006 - m/c @ 6 weeks (natural) / EDD 1/17/2007
    BFP # 2: 7/2007 - chemical pregnancy / EDD 3/18/2008
    BFP # 3: 6/2013 - 7/9 u/s: No hb, measuring 2 weeks behind. Very high HCG#'s 7/21 u/s: No change, ruled out molar pregnancy. Completed Natural Missed M/C 7/26/2013 / EDD 2/5/2014
    TTA with Diaphragm. 
    CFNBC
    I didn't want to kiss you goodbye, that was the trouble; I wanted to kiss you goodnight. And there's a lot of difference. - Ernest Hemingway 

    Licensed foster family. No current placements. Open to adoption but that is not our goal and as such we don't have dual foster/adopt home study.
    2012-2013: Former Foster Mommy to 1 bubbly little 8 y.o. girl that has moved onto an amazing adoptive home.

  • Defintely all of the above! "Just Relax" makes me want to leap out and choke someone. "You could always adopt!". Do people even realize how hard or how much money adoption really costs? And my favorite from my bff " Are you doing it right?" and my answer "yah I'm temping, opks. But with PCOS I have super long cycles" and her question back " no I mean are you doing IT right?" umm yah I'm doing IT just fine. I almost killed her.

    IVF #1: 4-11-11= Transferred 1 beautiful blastocyst I named "Nugget"
    5 Snowbabies! Beta#1 4/21= BFP! 226; Beta#2 4/25= 944
    DS born 12/14/11

    Baby #2 FET Nov/Dec 2013

    12/13 Beta#1=BFP 349; 12/16 Beta#2=1,089. First ultrasound 12/26. DS#2 born 8/8/14
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickersimageLilypie First Birthday tickers
    ~~PAIF/SAIF Always Welcome~~

  • I had a girl at work (who is currently pregnant) tell me to freeze my eggs, and then when she is ready, she can be my surrogate. I was floored at this offer and had no idea how she thought it would make me feel better. I never even hinted that was something I was interested in. She also unknowingly flashed around how easy it was for her to get pregnant and she was more suitable for the job than I am.    
  • Rous27: Re: Surrogacy

    I've had two people offer that to me now. I just don't know how to take it. I'm semi-flattered that they are excited for me to be a mother someday - yet, I can't help but be somewhat offended (as you said so well) "she was more suitable for the job."  

    Married to the love of my life since 2005
    TTC #1 - 
    BFP # 1: 5/2006 - m/c @ 6 weeks (natural) / EDD 1/17/2007
    BFP # 2: 7/2007 - chemical pregnancy / EDD 3/18/2008
    BFP # 3: 6/2013 - 7/9 u/s: No hb, measuring 2 weeks behind. Very high HCG#'s 7/21 u/s: No change, ruled out molar pregnancy. Completed Natural Missed M/C 7/26/2013 / EDD 2/5/2014
    TTA with Diaphragm. 
    CFNBC
    I didn't want to kiss you goodbye, that was the trouble; I wanted to kiss you goodnight. And there's a lot of difference. - Ernest Hemingway 

    Licensed foster family. No current placements. Open to adoption but that is not our goal and as such we don't have dual foster/adopt home study.
    2012-2013: Former Foster Mommy to 1 bubbly little 8 y.o. girl that has moved onto an amazing adoptive home.

  • imageJezebell26:

    it is not going to happen because he left his socks on

    Well clearly this has been my problem all along! I refuse to let DH keep his socks on! (just a weird thing of mine...).

    I agree with everything that's been said so far. The hardest for me is when family wants to know when we're going to have kids. No one knows that we've been trying. They are a very nosy although well meaning family and we just thought it would be easier not to tell them. 

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    TTC #1 since 2009 with unexplained infertility
    IUI#1-4 Jan.-Apr. 2011 = BFNs
    IVF#1 Aug. 2011 = c/p, FET #1 Nov. 2011 = c/p, FET #2 April 2012 = BFP!
    Beta #1 = 153, Beta #2 = 269, Beta #3 = 675
    1st U/S = TWINS!! EDD 12/29/12
    my blog: Journey to Somewhere
    ~~PAIFW/SAIFW~~
    Photobucket
    April IVF Spring Chicks

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • All of these things have been said to me a time or too. Thankfully I've not told my Mom and Dad about TTC...cause God only knows what they would say.....I don't even want to think about it.

    My friend that had a baby "by accident"....is a first timer and her baby is crazy and Mom gets all crazy and always says to Me and the DH "just you guys wait and see"......If I hear it one more time.......The same Mom always says to me....it will happenfor you, I know it.

    Yup somedays you just wanna pop somebody!!!!

    TTC since 2009 very frustrated 42yr and DH 40

    5 cycles of Clomid with satisfactory response=BFN's
    Fibroid removal Nov2010
    IUI Clomid #1 Feb 2011...BFN..damn it!
    IUI Inject's #2 Apr 2011...CANCELLED...low estradiol
    IUI Inject's #3 June 2011...BFN
    IUI Inject's #4 Sept2011...BFFN
    Lap Dec 2011...severe endo..cyst removed..some remains...
    IVF#1 Apr 2012 ....cancelled due to over suppression
    IVF#2 July 2012....6 follies...only 1 retrieved....BFFN
    surgery suggested to move ovary to an better placement but....we moved two time zones away and are financially and emotionally empty

  • These drive me crazy:

    "Relax.  Stress will keep you from getting pregnant."

    "Practice makes perfect...and it's so fun."

    "Maybe you aren't really ready.  When you are ready it will happen."

    TTC #1 since 8/09
    BFP#1 - 9/2/10, EDD 5/14/11, Twins Hannah and Liam lost 11/7/10 @ 13w1d.
    BFP #2 - 2/9/11, EDD 10/13/11, LO lost 2/13/11 @ 5w4d
    BFP #3 - 5/9/11, DS born 1/13/12

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
    ~*~My BFP Chart~*~Our Story~*~
    ~*~Labor Buddies with Sweet Turnip - Welcome Baby Girl 2/23/12 & Aluenna - Welcome Ivy 1/6/12~*~
  • imageEris-Alexis:


    "Maybe you aren't really ready.  When you are ready it will happen."

     

    UGH!!! 

    Married to the love of my life since 2005
    TTC #1 - 
    BFP # 1: 5/2006 - m/c @ 6 weeks (natural) / EDD 1/17/2007
    BFP # 2: 7/2007 - chemical pregnancy / EDD 3/18/2008
    BFP # 3: 6/2013 - 7/9 u/s: No hb, measuring 2 weeks behind. Very high HCG#'s 7/21 u/s: No change, ruled out molar pregnancy. Completed Natural Missed M/C 7/26/2013 / EDD 2/5/2014
    TTA with Diaphragm. 
    CFNBC
    I didn't want to kiss you goodbye, that was the trouble; I wanted to kiss you goodnight. And there's a lot of difference. - Ernest Hemingway 

    Licensed foster family. No current placements. Open to adoption but that is not our goal and as such we don't have dual foster/adopt home study.
    2012-2013: Former Foster Mommy to 1 bubbly little 8 y.o. girl that has moved onto an amazing adoptive home.

  • I love this post!

    "Relax" or "It will happen when the time is right" really piss me off.

    But the worst one is from my SIL who says to me after she got KU with her 2nd child, "Well if you time it right you can have my baby's crib in a couple of years."  Yeah okay I've been trying for 2 years and you want me to wait another 2.   Thanks for the offer but no thanks!

    [img]http://i54.tinypic.com/zsk41e.jpg[/img]
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=preemie&utm_medium=ubb&utm_campaign=badges"><img src="http://images.thenestbaby.com/badges/tb_sig_preemie.gif"></a>

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Advice"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt160572.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0" /></a>
  • "If its meant to be it will happen." Ughh I also get the "Stop thinking about it and it will just happen" my mom says that one all the time. Drives me nuts 

  • There is a guy at work who really get under my skin about this. No one knows we're trying. I work at a hospital and 99.99% of my coworkers are hormonal women, go figure it's the one guy who bugs me about it.

    But apparently there's "something in the water" at my work...supposedly everyone who works there get miraculously pg. So whenever I am not feeling especially well, he's like "Are you KU? You're next you know."

    I just want to turn around and say, "I [email protected] well hope so!" 

    Mama to sunshine baby "J" 5.13.11 and angel baby "E" born still on 2.11.14
    TTC our rainbow since April '14

    image

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards