Fetal Echo on Thursday- Nervous vent of sorts

I couldn't be more worried. I haven't gotten much sleep since Saturday night because part of me is sure they'll find something wrong. I almost feel like these past 28 weeks have been too good to be true, and something is going to be terribly wrong with Gideon's heart and that they just missed it at the 18 week US.

I'm also nervous about talking with the cardiologist. DH and I both blame his partner for taking to long to make the decision to try to get Gabe on the transplant list. We were told throughout the pregnancy that a transplant would be the only thing to save his life, and under no circumstances would medication alone do anything for him. For some reason this man refused to listen to us for 5 days, and kept saying he could make it manageable with meds.  Part of me feels like if we had had those 5 extra days with him on the at the better hospital and on the transplant list, he probably wouldn't have gotten sick, and we would have had more time to find him a heart. I just have so much anxiety about even seeing the doctor, it's ridiculous!

Alright, I'm done venting, sorry if that didn't make any sense.