Preemies
Options
Insecurities after pregnancy (vent)
So it has been 8 weeks and I have been itching to get to the gym, but it is just so hard to find time when I am up in the nicu all day and DH and I share a car. My mom and sis try to get me out of the nicu sometimes just to go shopping or something for an hour but I just hate feeling so insecure when I am in public. I feel so fat and ugly and unfashionable and don't have my baby with me to show that I was just pregnant. I can't even stand to go shopping because I know nothing will look cute on me if I try it on. And I don't even like seeing anyone either because of what they may think of me...like yesterday I had to stop at a birthday party on my way home from the hospital and I felt like everyone was looking at my stomach...like they are wondering either hmmm where's the baby, still in there or just checkin to see if I lost the baby weight yet. Did anyone else feel like this? Maybe my hormones are still wacky and making me overreact, but I just can't wait to get back to the gym when LO comes home and I can work out a schedule. Even thought LO was only 1.13 lbs I still have 20 lbs to lose 
-and i know ppl judge me on that- I guess that's what happens when you are on bedrest for your entire pregnancy tho...I think a mani/pedi and haircut aka mommy makeover, are in store for me soon to help me feel better, as well as a new gym membership...anything else that has helped anyone feel better? How long does it take to feel like yourself again?
-and i know ppl judge me on that- I guess that's what happens when you are on bedrest for your entire pregnancy tho...I think a mani/pedi and haircut aka mommy makeover, are in store for me soon to help me feel better, as well as a new gym membership...anything else that has helped anyone feel better? How long does it take to feel like yourself again? This discussion has been closed.
Re: Insecurities after pregnancy (vent)
I think you need to give yourself some credit. You are only 8 weeks post-partum AND you were on bedrest. If you had a C/S you aren't even allowed to exercise until you are 8 weeks out from delivery because you are still healing... I don't think that people are staring at you and wondering why you haven't lost the baby weight yet!
If you are feeling this upset about your post-partum body it would probably be a very good idea to discuss this with your doctor. I don't want to scare you but it sounds kind of dismorphic to me that you think people are staring at you due to needing to lose 20 pounds. You are putting a lot of expectations on yourself and I think you may be setting yourself up for post-partum depression if you don't cut yourself a break. You didn't gain the weight in 8 weeks, so you shouldn't expect to lose it that quickly either, especially if you are spemnding a lot of time in the NICU visiting your LO.
In answer to your question, yes I felt bad about myself after delivery. I gained 35 pounds during my pregnancy and I delivered a 5 pound baby almost 7 weeks early. The day I was released from the hospital I had only lost 4 pounds. Then I did too much and wouldn't stay off my feet which caused me to swell up really badly. I actually looked worse about 2 weeks after delivering then I did the day before I had the baby. I got in big trouble with the NICU nurses because I wasn't resting enough to let myself heal. They had a "talk" with my husband who put me on restriction and made me stay in bed with my feet up until the swelling went down. He told me that he wasn't prepared to be a widower and a single parent, so I needed to give myself time to heal.
When we finally brought DD home from the NICU she was not allowed to go out except to the doctor's office, so not much exercising happened. I didn't really start to lose the baby weight until I went back to work. In the month I have been back to work, I have lost 10 pounds. At 5 months postpartum I have about another 20 to lose.
Nothing I owned pre-pregnancy fits yet and I am not happy with my current wardrobe. I feel frumpy, but I don't want to spend a ton of money on clothes that (hopefully) won't fit for long. However I did go get a haircut, highlights and get my eye-brows done. I also got myself a couple pretty bras, since I needed larger ones anyway. That made me feel a lot better.
Congratulations on your LO. I wish you and your family the best.
ETA: I just wanted to add that my comment is in no way meant to negate or belittle your feelings. Feelings are by thier nature emotional and not rational. There is no amount of logic that can make you feel better. However, I just want to encourage you to remember that your body just created life. It is an awesome, amazing thing and it takes time to recover from that. Yes, it is totally normal to want your pre-pregnancy body back. Just please don't push yourself too hard. I would also encourage you to peak to your doctor about your feelings. Speaking with my doctor has been very reassuring for me.
I definitely have and had insecurities about my body, but they didn't set in until later than you are at. I had a really hard time recovering from my c-section and had all I could do to make it through the days pumping, commuting to the NICU, & visiting so all the people I saw then knew I had just had a child. I'm 8.5 months out now and feel like I still have lots more belly than I'd like, and do wonder if strangers think I'm pregnant now. However, I rarely get out since we are still in isolation, so still most people I see know the situation and have been really supportive. I'm just gettng back into exercising (but at home, gym isn't working with our schedule). It's very slow going and I have about 30 pounds to lose yet (actually gained MORE while LO was in the NICU - bad eating & stress eating) but I feel confident that I'll get there, some day. I do want to exercise but I don't want to take precious time away from my LO's wakeful hours either. We are working a lot with him on development with therapist suggestions, etc.
So I guess my best advice would be to try and see more of the bigger picture and reassure yourself that your LO is amazing and your body changes are due to bringing your LO into the world. You seem very committed to losing the weight, so I'm thinking it will fall into place when the time is right. Until then, try not to worry about what others think and remind yourself how amazing your body is!
Hi fellow Houstonian! Just wanted to chime in and agree that you have to cut yourself some slack. I'm going out on a limb and going to guess that you were thin prior to pg and are used to being very toned and in shape. Over the course of pg, your body has definitely changed, but you can't think of it as a good or bad thing - it's just change! And it can (and very likely will) change back.
I had gained 34 lbs and had only lost 4 having left the hospital after giving birth to a 5.5 lb child (plus the placenta). It seemed mathematically impossible. Then I mistreated my body by forcing myself to sit/stand in the NICU all day every day without really enough fluids and food (I ate, but always rushed to get back). It took months to lose the weight and for my body to return to its shape, but it happened. I didn't have to join a gym or go nuts with my diet either; I ate healthy, bf'd, plus did a lot of babywearing, and naturally lost about a pound per week. So yes, it may take you 30 weeks to get back to where you were, but it'll happen and anyone who wants to judge you for your weight or shape can kiss off.
I know it feels like it'll take forever when you're this close to the birth, but I promise it'll fly by once your baby is home. Your weight will be one of the last things on your mind. :hugs: