Etiquette WWYD?

redhead2466 · August 2010

WWYD?

The volunteer coordinator at my work recently took a trip to Seattle where she went the outlet malls. Before she left, she asked me to print off the store listings for two of these malls which I did. Afterwards, we were looking at the listings and I commented (in passing) "Oh! Carter's, I wish I could go shopping to the US. I've heard Carter's has really good deals....if you go let me know if they're cheap or have nice stuff." She has some kids in her family (great neices.nephews etc.) that she buys clothes/toys for so I expected she would be going there anyhow.

She did ask me DD's size, but I figured maybe she would get DD one inexpensive item, like a few dollars. I certainly didn't mean what I said as a hint for her to get me anything.

Anyhow, she came back with 2 pairs of jeans and three shirts. I don't know how much it cost (there was no bill in the bag) but she did leave me the frequent shopper card which had one stamp for $20....meaning she spent between $20-$40. When I showed DH the clothes, he was shocked I didn't offer to pay her.

Now I'm not sure whether I should offer.... I feel bad that she spent so much, but when she gave it to me I felt like it was a gift and I didn't want to offend her by offering to pay for it. I'm going to give her a thank-you card, obviously. Still, do you think I should offer to pay her?

josswhedon · August 2010

I would simply ask "what do I owe you for the clothes." casually in passing, if she gives you a dollar amount pay her, if she says "oh don't worry about it," then you don't. And have DD write her a little thank you note!

EastCoastBride · August 2010

I dont' think it's offensive to be like "Oh my gosh- thanks so much for picking this stuff up! I love it. How much do I owe you?", then it's on her to either say "oh, no, it's a gift", or "It came to $25".

She's kind of a random person to be buying your DD clothes, so I would offer. You can still go back and be like "I was so surprised w/ the clothes, I totally forgot to ask how much I owe you.".

stever · August 2010

EastCoastBride:
I dont' think it's offensive to be like "Oh my gosh- thanks so much for picking this stuff up! I love it. How much do I owe you?", then it's on her to either say "oh, no, it's a gift", or "It came to $25".

She's kind of a random person to be buying your DD clothes, so I would offer. You can still go back and be like "I was so surprised w/ the clothes, I totally forgot to ask how much I owe you.".

This. I would feel weird not paying for something a co-worker picked up for me.

Temp856430000003146 · August 2010

What did she say when she gave the clothes to you?

If I was giving someone a gift, I would likely put it in a gift sack not just leave it in the store's bag.

I like the pp's suggestion also.

kes3237 · August 2010

Yeah, I don't think it's assumed that it was a gift. She may be waiting for you to ask how much you owe her. I would just ask casually, as PPs suggested.

Sage Mommy · August 2010

EastCoastBride:

I dont' think it's offensive to be like "Oh my gosh- thanks so much for picking this stuff up! I love it. How much do I owe you?", then it's on her to either say "oh, no, it's a gift", or "It came to $25".

She's kind of a random person to be buying your DD clothes, so I would offer. You can still go back and be like "I was so surprised w/ the clothes, I totally forgot to ask how much I owe you.".

these are perfect responses to the "gift." Either way, it was nice of her to pick up some clothes for you.

Etiquette WWYD?

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