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Stay at Home Moms
Feeling lonely/jealous of DH
Let me start with the obligatory my DH is great (he really is) but lately I have been feeling this mix of jealousy and loneliness. I have talked to him about it but I don't know if he gets it.
Recently two business trips have come up for him. One to Seattle next week Thurs is travel Friday morning is business then he is staying until Sunday to visit some friends (he lived there for 5 years before we were together) and he gets to go to Las Vegas in October. Going with him is not an option becasue I have no one to watch Hallie and we have a 17 year old at home too who really cannot go that unsupervised.
DH has also started working out (running at 5am and going to the gym) and he has lost 20 pounds in about 5 weeks. He looks great. I am 125 pounds overweight and 23 weeks pregnant...jealous...A few of his coworkers ride bikes on local trails and in races and they want him to join him so he spent the weekend looking at bicycles.
He is also in grad school 2 nights a week. I just feel like I never see him.
Maybe I am being a whiner or hormonal. I wish we had some time together. I don't really have friends to hang out with especially after leaving work. I love my daughter but hanging out with a 15 month old day in and day out is making me a little nutty. When we go out I usually end up shopping and spending $$ that we don't have. The idea of having a baby in December practically gives me a panic attack.
Does anyone else feel this way?
Sorry it is soooooooo long. Thanks if you read all of this 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Feeling lonely/jealous of DH
I think we all feel like this sometimes to some degree.
In your case, it's compounded by the fact that you're PG and at home with a 15 month old.......you're feeling trapped.
Can you hire a babysitter so you and DH could have date night? This is important to do, even if it's just once a month or once every other month. To reconnect a little. If you can't afford a babysitter, then look into swapping time with another mom.....that won't cost you any money, but you will have to have DH or yourself babysit for that family.
As for the exercise, is there anything you can do at home? Prenatal yoga? or some kind of DVD just to not be that sedentary?
Or, find some time during your day to do something for yourself - paint your nails, read a book, etc. Maybe during your child's naptime.
I had a November baby and a December baby and I loved it. By the time summer rolled around, they were much bigger and not nursing as often, etc. Look at the bright side! I also had a May baby and really didn't like having a baby in that season! LOL!
GL!
I would feel the same way in your shoes. I am 12 weeks pg with our second and have a 13 month old. I would hope my DH would understand how overwhelmed I'd be feeling being pg and taking care of a little one and wouldnt stay the extra few days, especially since you are seeing so little of him already. That just wouldn't fly with me. To even the score, I'd tell him to take you on a short vacation, even just a weekend and leave Hallie with a babysitter. I'm angry for you but I'm also pg and I'd kill my DH if he knew I wasn't feeling right and still went and had his play time. I'd start being a little more demanding of his time, you are his wife and you should be his number one priority.
I know how you feel. DH leaves for work at 3 am and doesn't come home til 930 pm, his schedule was like this for my entire pregnancy. We used to have weekends together but he's working on a college course and preparing for a pretty intense job interview next month so he really has no time for DD and me. If he gets this new job, his schedule will get better but 1st he'll have a 6 week training program to complete so he'd move down to TX and DD and I would have to come later.
You didn't mention whether you have family or friends local but maybe you could call them? My sister comes by a lot just to keep me sane and give me company. Try going for a walk too, I take DD every evening when it cools off and it really helps to boost my mood!
I don't have much family (only child, mom and dad have passed away). My uncle and his wife live nearby but they don't have children and watched Hallie once for about 2 hours and were nervous wrecks the entire time.
Thanks for listening. I hate to complain because like someone said DH is working hard to support us I just am having a rough time lately.
Sometimes men just don't get it, point blank. I don't think it has anything to do with being a good husband/dad or not. Just about any woman I talk to can have similar complaints about their significant other. They are just different than us and don't see it. I think husbands of stay at home moms can sometimes see it as we have the better end of the deal, not having to get up and out of the house by a certain time everyday to make it to work on time. We really do have the better end of the deal if you ask me.
It seems like he has a lot going on to take care of the family and it's future (work and school) so I can imagine that alone is overwhelming. He probably sees the fact that he is doing something for himself as not a problem at all.
Maybe you could get out and walk with your child? Go to the park? Lots of days we don't have specific activities planned but we will find something to get out because we both go crazy if we don't. It's hard to find mom friends, worse than dating. If you frequent certain parks or play spots you could keep running into the same people and at least have a little adult conversation. In our house just getting out for a bit helps the mood of both ds and myself.