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alone?

lesleypawllesleypawl
in 2nd Trimester

I just need some advice. My fiance and I are expecting our first child at the end of January. We've always worked opposing schedules, (he's in the restaurant business working mostly from 5pm to about 3am and I'm a secretary doing the 9-5) but now that we're closing in on our 3rd trimester, i feel very alone. He's been trying to look for a new job with better hours but has yet to find anything. so most of the time, i'm home alone. he's doing his best to help me but we're finding out that we are having more and more complications with our pregnancy and I feel like i'm having to deal with all of it by myself.

I know my hormones are making it worse, but any advice on what i can do to make us feel like a family again?

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Re: alone?

  • MolluskwranglerMolluskwrangler member
    I was a chef for a long time, and it's incredibly hard in the restaurant industry to find time with the long hours.  I wasn't with my DH at the time but my ex and I would make sure that we spent my day off together, no other plans were allowed, even if it was just running to the store.  It's important to stay connected and make time for each other.  Maybe have dinner together once a week no matter what, or have him meet you at work for lunch.
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  • schandler10schandler10

    My husband and use to have the same issue; He was in the Marine Corps and usually got off work around 5-6pm and I worked until 10:30pm. He was usually in bed trying to get some sleep to get up at 4am again when I got home and was still fairly restless. I wasn't pregnant yet but we spent as much time together as we could. It sounds really cheesy but we texted a lot during the day when we were able and we left notes for each other at the house. We are both practical jokers so sometimes we left not as nice things lol but just something to let the other person know that you thought about them.

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  • Annabelle0211Annabelle0211
    My husband is a chef and I work 8-5 so I am in the exact same situation!  It does get lonely at times but I pretty much work and sleep during the week.  I spend time with friends on the weekends while hes at work.  It kind of sucks sometimes but I am so used to it that it doesnt bother me as much as it used to.  To keep him involved with the pregnancy I schedule doctors appointments at times he can go.  Also, for childcare we wont have to use darecare because of our opposite schedules so that will be a lifesaver for our finances.
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  • ttarnold23ttarnold23 member
    I totally know what you mean, my hubby and I had the, "I feel lonely" talk just the other day.  husband is a physician and works mostly nights, I work 7-7 as a nurse.  we try to go on a date when we do have a day off together which is usually like every 2 weeks.  I find that it is nice to get dressed and get out of the house together instead of watching tv or something.  And since eating is my fav thing to do right now, dinner and movie is great.
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  • lesleypawllesleypawl
    Adam (fiance) just called me to tell me he got the job offer we've been waiting 4 months for! and just when i thought i was going to have a nervous breakdown! thats one less thing to worry about now! a weight has been lifted!
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  • PunkyBoosterPunkyBooster member

    It is hard. I have a husband who travels all the time for work. He is sometimes gone 2 weeks a month. It can be very lonely.

    One thing I do is to be sure to update him on things- movement, I'll send him a belly pic once a week, tell him about the doc appts he may have missed. We really do make the most of the time he is home by working on the baby's room, going on dates, doing stuff together. Even if it's just trying a new recipe out together and watching a movie on the couch. 

    Do you have a close girlfriend or 2? I think it's important to maintain those friendships. Since he can be gone quite a bit, I have a few girlfriends I reach out to for mid week dinners or lunches so that I have company. The dog also keeps me company because she likes walks and to be out and socializing, so I do that twice a day (sometimes 3x a day). 

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