How long before trying? (DS mentioned)

afwifestrecker7706 · August 2010

I am new to this whole thing. And wondering how long everyone waited to try after there loss? My story is DH and I had been TTC since May on Clomid due to PCOS. It took us awhile to have our son and Clomid so we went right to Clomid this time. We did not know I was ovulating all though my cycles were being closely watched. I found out I was expecting on Aug 7. I had an u/s done Aug 12, and Aug 17 which showed I might be lossing the baby went back on Aug 24 and conformed there was no heart beat and nothing in the sac. I have been waiting to m/c naturally but not happening so starting tomorrow on meds.

My Dr told us we only needed to wait one month so I was thinking of calling the RE this week to try and make my appt to move on with meds for infertility. My DH travels alot for work in the military and we want another child sooner then later I am sure like everyone here. Just wondering if maybe I am trying to think of all this and do it all to quick and maybe not thinking about our loss? I just want it all to be over and to move on with my life. I know I can't ever forget the child we lost but I want the child in my arms like I am sure everyone does. Just wondering how long everyone waiting to TTC again and did it help you at all to try sooner or was it better to wait. I am not even sure what the RE is going to say and how long she might make us wait but wanted to hear from other people who have gone though this and understand.

afwifestrecker7706 · August 2010

Sorry posted twice guess I did something wrong.

luckymrs. · August 2010

Did your doc want you to have one normal cycle first before trying? (like after the m/c is done, wait until after your next period)?

That's what we did (or should I say are doing now). That equates to almost 2 months for us, from time of m/c starting to Oing and BDing TTC.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

owenst · August 2010

I wasn't in the same situation since I delivered Elijah, but I would think you would have to wait for at least one visit from AF, and that is somewhat unpredictable so you should take that into consideration. I guess if you could see the RE but have the meds on hold until it's time that might work. You may be surprised to not be ready when it's time, though. Let yourself grieve. We had to wait 3 cycles and I was really glad for that. {{hugs}}

GuppyAmy · August 2010

I'm sorry for your loss. From being here for awhile- every doctor is different in how long they want you to wait and they all have their reasons for giving you this advice. (My friends gave her this analogy and I think it's true "it's kind of like a peanut butter jar. You scrape it and scrape it, but it's not really clean until you rinse it out" and your cycle is the water in this story) As for me, I thought right after it happened- I was ready to try again but as I started waiting the cycles out- I realized I wasn't ready emotionally. Good luck with everything!

erinlovesdavid · August 2010

I am so sorry for your loss.

This question gets asked a lot here, and you will get a very wide variety of answers. It really depends on your doctor and your individual situation. For us, my doctor said we didn't need to wait at all and could try again as soon as I stopped bleeding after my D&C. Some doctors will say 1-3 months, others will say 1-3 cycles, some 6+ months.

Karen1998 · August 2010

We tried for 10 months to get pregnant. I was pregnant for less than 2 months and had a natural m/c. My doctor told us to wait 3 cycles before trying again. I mentioned that I'm older (in reproductive terms) - 34 - she said I'm "young" and to wait three cycles. I'm still waiting on AF #3 (should be in a few weeks) and then we'll start trying again. Mentally, I wasn't ready to try again until a week or so ago. This past weekend marked 3 months from the start of my miscarriage. Tomorrow marks 3 months from when the sack started passing.

ETA: The reason she had me wait three cycles is because she wanted to make sure my body shed all of the rough spots in my uterus. Apparently if you have a rough spot the embryo is more likely to attach to it than anywhere else. Apparently a m/c can leave a rough spot where the baby attached to the uterine wall. Thus, if the rough spot blocks nutrition from the baby, and that's why my first baby died, then the next baby is most likely to attach in the same spot and have the same issues. I've actually noticed changes in my body over the last three months (I'm pretty in tune with it) and finally feel like I'm mostly back to normal. It's amazing how even a short pregnancy can change your body.

I have to admit, it's been a LONG 3 months! I'm ready to get moving again. Limbo blows chunks.

I too am sorry for your loss. I suggest you follow your doctor's advice and start when you emotionally and physically feel ready.

Laurakat81 · August 2010

First of all, I'm really sorry for your loss.

After our first loss we waited three cycles like my doctor recommended. It was rough to have to wait I think for us. It felt like I couldn't work through my grief at all until we were actually TTC again.

This time my doctor still wants us to wait three cycles but truthfully we may not wait that long this time. But I'm unsure as we are super lucky in that so far we've gotten during our second cycle of trying both times so I'm a little nervous that if we do follow that same pattern yet again that we'll lose the baby again and it will be because we didn't follow orders.

But back to your question. If your doctor is ok with you TTC right away then go for it. I really think it does help ease the pain a tad. Good luck!

Kristin&Adam · August 2010

I'd talk to your doctor about why he wants you to wait. Mine advised waiting 2 cycles, but said it would be okay if we only waited 1.. but to please at least wait 'til I got a regular AF. So that's what we're doing.

e_uecker · August 2010

We started TTC after one cycle. We didn't try very hard I guess you could say that cycle. We didn't chart till the second cycle.

magpiebride61210 · August 2010

well i'm so sorry for your loss. we actually spoke with our normal doc first, right after the d&c and she said to wait one cycle, two if we could wait that long. then when we went in for our f/u appointment, we met with someone different, (real doc was on vacation). this guy was amazing. he explained to us why most docs are required to tell you to wait at least one cycle. he said it's not how he was trained, and he likes to be honest with his patients. he explained that b/c they've CHECKED and they KNOW i am healthy in all areas, that he can tell us to go ahead and try right away. so I think it depends on the kind of doc you have, and what sort of follow up you experience. but the reality is (from what my doc said) that there is no difference between ttcal right away and waiting 1,2 or 3 cycles... IF you are healthy after the m/c.

So if your doc has told you to go ahead... then i'd trust him and be glad you can get on the road to physical and emotional recovery right away.

good luck, and again i'm so sorry.

shanna82 · August 2010

I'm sorry for your loss and welcome to TTCAL. My doctor gave us the go ahead right away at our 2 week checkup. We tried that cycle.

I don't think there is anything wrong with you wanting to start right away, because I did also. GL to you!

Also, please read the link at the bottom of my siggy when you have a chance--it has a lot of great TTCAL and board info.

ColleenS629 · August 2010

I'm sorry for your loss. Like everyone said, every doctor has a different recommendation/ reasoning. My doctor said we could TTC right away and that's what we did. I think it helped me get through my grief a little to have something else to focus on. I do, however, think I am more emotionally ready this month (my second TTCAL cycle).

tctibbe · August 2010

I'm so sorry for your loss. We m/c mid-July and can start trying in November. My doctor put me on BCP's for 2 1/2 months so that I would have some what regular cycles until then. We'll start back on Clomid right away.

Want a personalized experience?

How long before trying? (DS mentioned)

Re: How long before trying? (DS mentioned)

Choose Another Board

Search Boards