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TTC After a Loss
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Trying to move on..

NicoleE37NicoleE37
in TTC After a Loss
I was just wondering how everyone has moved on from the past m/c to ttc. I would be entering my second tri this week, and I can't help but be sad that I have to start over. I feel like I am neglecting the baby we are trying for by dwelling on the m/c. I'm just trying to figure out how to switch from dwelling on where I would've been to looking at where I could be now. Just wondering how everyone else made the transition from loss to ttc. btw this is our first month ttcal. Thank you.
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Re: Trying to move on..

  • e_ueckere_uecker member

    For me it wasn't an awful transition, but it wasn't smooth. There are times when it is still tough, but it always will be a little difficult. I will always love our first baby, and it will always be mine. That will never change. Having another one will not take away from that. Just like have more then one child doesn't make you love either one any less. I hope you ttcal journey is short hun. Good luck!

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  • Karen1998Karen1998 member
    Honestly, time.  That's it.  This weekend marked three months for me.  It's taken me this long to get to where I'm ready to TTC.  I've also done a bit of writing and talking about the m/c.  The writing has helped more than anything, though no matter how much I wrote, it wouldn't have helped if I hadn't given myself the time to heal.
    BFP#1 4/17/10...EDD 1/6/11...M/C 5/28/10 BFP#2 11/19/10...EDD 8/4/11 Squeaker born 7/30.
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  • Kristin&AdamKristin&Adam
    We're not TTC yet (waiting for AF), but I really think time is what heals.  I don't think its something that you will ever get over, but the more time that passes, the easier it is to think about moving on.  Make sure that you give yourself time to heal - not only physically, but mentally and spiritually as well.. hugs!
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  • buninmyoven22buninmyoven22

    imageKristin&Adam:
    We're not TTC yet (waiting for AF), but I really think time is what heals.  I don't think its something that you will ever get over, but the more time that passes, the easier it is to think about moving on.  Make sure that you give yourself time to heal - not only physically, but mentally and spiritually as well.. hugs!

    This!

     

    Also, I got flamed on the m/c board (understandably so...but with a really really overly belligerent note -which made me sad-Sad)  for a post and realized that maybe where I am and the contributions I have to make and the questions I have aren't right for that group anymore.

     Everyone gets to where they are meant to in their own time. And again, I think what the PP said is perfect.

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  • janiem1120janiem1120 member

    First, I'm sorry for your loss. We have been TTCAL for just 2 months now and it is still hard for me. I searched everywhere to find something that would take the pain away quickly or get us pregnant again in a flash in hopes of not feeling the hurt anymore, but I guess it is just something that has to be dealt with.

    With any kind of griefing it is just good days and bad days. I certainly don't think you are neglecting future children though by letting yourself grieve. It is hard not to look back and think about where you should be. I actually broke down this weekend and DH said to me just think about how much more we will appreciate having a healthy baby because of this. I kind of liked that.

    Just make sure you are ready to start trying again and you are in my thoughts. Good luck! Left Hug

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  • NicoleE37NicoleE37
    Thank you everyone for the support. I feel better today so I think I was having a bad day when I posted. Plus my furbabies and I had a good night last night playing, so I think they help a lot.
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