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Worried sick about DH, experience with effexor anyone?

marrymemylovemarrymemylove member
in Parenting

DH has been down for months. He won't talk to me about it as it is mostly work related (job sucks at the moment but he can't imagine doing anything else with his life). His specialisation means I am not a good source of advice, though I obviously want to support him completely. 

 I really think what he needs is career advice but he doesn't feel there's anyone he can get it from.

Anyway, he's been very low, and basically given up on being more than a breadwinner (I'm currently unemployed and about to give birth too which doesn't help).

Finally he agreed to go and talk to his GP (he nearly got pneumonia before he would go to a Dr last time!) and has been given the options of talk it out or drug it out or a combo. I have had an awful experience with zoloft over a decade ago, but this Dr has suggested effexor which I know little about (and what's on wikipedia is fecking scary).

I have post-SSRI sexual dysfunction (that too is on wikipedia) and I fear for him, though I realise effexor is not an SSRI there are also scary side effects listed there.

I also don't think you should ever treat with drugs alone without talking it through also, though I can see how some can just talk without the drugs.

 DH is scared witless of the side effects himself (he pointed them out to me in fact) and inclined to just go and talk to the psychologist/social worker suggested by the GP. 

 I know he was pushed to act because he knows with the baby due any moment that things will get more stressful not less, but gee whizz I wish he'd gone 6 months ago so we weren't on this precipice right when my hormones are about to plummet too. I want to be there for him and I'm scared I won't be as much as he needs.

OK OK, just tell me what you think of effexor and the options and the timing and whatever. No need to try to sound comforting, I know just how bad the situation is.

 And yes I'm wracking my brain for someone he can talk to about the work stuff. Basically he hates his job and there's no prospect of it improving any time soon. On the other hand he went and burned his opportunity to change jobs a year ago when we were expecting the twins and now feels he has no other options. 

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Re: Worried sick about DH, experience with effexor anyone?

  • MrsOlsonMrsOlson
    I have been on Effexor since 07 and have had zero problems. It was a life(marriage) saver for me.
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  • marrymemylovemarrymemylove member

    Thanks!

    As per the info we have, these are what are truly scaring us:

     Common side effects:

    Sexual dysfunction (14-34%)Dizziness (11-20%) - he drives DS each dayAbnormal ejaculation (8-16%)Decreased libido (3-9%)Fatigue (with a new baby on the way!)Vertigo (again re the driving)Impulsive actionsElectric shock-like sensations also called "brain zaps"Less common to rare side effectsCardiac arrhythmiaAbnormal visionSuicidal thoughtsNeuroleptic malignant syndromeTremorDrowsinessHepatitisPancreatitisSeizurePsychosisHair lossHostilityActivation of mania/hypomaniaHomicidal thoughtsAggressionVisual hallucinations

     As you can imagine I guess those are all pretty scary even if some are rare.

    At the moment he's inclined to just talk. Anyway...all I can do is try to help, and try not to let the whole birth rollercoaster get too overwhelming. 

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  • belle204belle204 member
    I have no experience with it but since everyone is different he could always try it and see how it goes. If it makes him feel more "off" or the side effects are too bad for him he can stop. If y'all still aren't 100% sure maybe he could just try the therapy bit to start and see how that goes. Sometimes just talking to an impartial party and being able to unload can do wonders. It's hard being in a job you're unhappy with and having so many big changes going on. Best of luck. (Oh, and, I think pregnancy is turning you into a softie.) ;-)
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  • Punk*MommyPunk*Mommy

    I was on Effexor and it made me "me" again... it was a life saver.

    The only reason I went off of it (it was working soooooooooooooo well) was that I am uninsured and had to pay out of pocket, and there is no generic Effexor XR  for me to get.

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  • citygirl22citygirl22 member
    I have 2 clients taking Effexor and they report it has helped them tremendously, with minimal side effects that they notice. One has been taking it for 3 months, the other for 7 months. However, every person is different and there are side effects with most of these drugs. It's usually hit or miss so he may have to go through several to find the right one for him, coupled with a good therapist.  
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