- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
3rd Trimester
SnoopyLuv
member
Francesca Pearl is here! Josephine Hope is almost 3!
MIL/possessiveness vent
SnoopyLuv
member
I was reading the post earlier about feeling possessive and I am really starting to turn into the Hulk about this now. I feel like I don't want ANYONE to see the baby right afterwards and that I'm going to turn into this hermit in my house. My awful MIL keeps posting on FB about how she can't wait to kiss and hold the baby and I just think to myself "fat chance of that happening" I feel so hateful! I normally can't stand her anyhow but it's so bad I can't even bring myself to talk to her on the phone for the past few months because I'm afraid I will blow up at her if she starts talking about "her grandbaby". I feel like this is our baby not anyone else's and I just want to have her and move so far away that no one else can see her. What is wrong with me??
Am I being completely irrational or is this a normal feeling during pregnancy? I guess my real question is...should DH call the therapist? 
Francesca Pearl is here! Josephine Hope is almost 3!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: MIL/possessiveness vent
You're being irrational. It is "her grandbaby". She's excited. Let her be excited about being a grandma...it's exciting!
A lot of people pick to find fault with their MILs and I don't get it (some are awful, truly awful, and I'm not talking about those people). it just seems like a lot of women on here are just looking for something to hate about and babies bring out the worst in people.
I don't know about a therapist, but honestly, chill out. If she wasn't excited about her grandchild, would you be on here complaining about that?
HAHA I'm so glad I'm not the only one! I'm reading your post thinking to myself, I swear I was just thinking that! She drives me crazy and she's normally annoying but since being pregnant she's been unbearable. I have hardly seen her these past 8 months bc I'm honestly worried I'll flip out on her, but I do understand that she's excited, this is the first girl grandchild so I get it but she needs to chill the "f" out. She even pre-decided before I had a bump and before we knew what the gender was (we had disclosed to her some name options we were thinking about) she started referring to my still flat stomach by one of the names we liked...i now hate the name, which is unfortunate because it was one of my front-runners.
So to answer your question, no you're not alone, I can't stand mine either.
There is way too much to get into on a public message board but I'll say that MIL/FIL have stolen from us, begged for money numerous times and ruined our credit (lesson learned to not have a Junior) so I'm not "picking" for things to be pissed at her about. I just don't like that it's constantly about when they can come down (and have the three of them stay with us in a two bedroom apt because they can't be bothered to save the $100 a night a hotel would cost) and she's going out buying *** for the baby that we don't need when they have their electric/internet constantly cut out.
I know that was way more into it than you really need but not all of us are complaining over little things, but have legitimate concerns/feelings toward family members. I put the smiley face on there because I know I'm overreacting a bit but I don't think it's abnormal to feel this type of protective/possessive feeling towards the baby while you're pregnant and wanted others to have a place to vent if they were feeling like this as well.
Francesca Pearl is here! Josephine Hope is almost 3!
Thank you! I appreciate your honest response! The talking to the flat belly thing would drive me crazy too! My MIL took the top prize though when I told her I was pregnant she goes "Oh I am so happy my son's stuff works!!" and sounded genuinely thrilled...WTF??
Francesca Pearl is here! Josephine Hope is almost 3!
With my In-Laws the moment they found out DH and I were dating they wanted us to have a baby. They met me after a month of dating.
Normal.
I have been having serious issues with feeling like when I have her I am going to be POed at everyone for wanting to hold her. I feel like me and DH should be holding her and everyone else should wait until they are offered.
I have come to accept however especially in my family (very tight and close knit with both mine and DH's) People love our children. They have a desire to be close to them, in their lives and to get to feel included. I know for a fact my SIL and BIL will be around OFTEN. they are her Godparents. Its normal to feel this way though, we have been there for them all 9 months, they have lived in us, we have been the closest ones, and have been here for all the movements.
I didnt REALLY feel like a jerk until Sat night. DH was bummed about the crib and the fact everyone has done everything, and he feels as though he hasnt been able to do anything special for her, and he finally told me how much it hurts his feelings when I say I am going to make a rule of no one can hold my baby for a few hours and I want no company for a few days.
Basically we compromised and now its people can come around they have to wash their hands and there is to be absolutely no kissing of the baby unless its me or him, because i trust no ones germs and I always feel like some babies are dirty after they have 10 people leaving kiss marks on them.
So far everyone seems understanding of what I am and am not comfortable and either way, its MY AND DHs baby. If they dont like our rules, too bad.
As you say, we don't know the whole back story so I am sure there are reasons that you want to limit LO's time with MIL. And I agree with PP that, as the parents, you get to make any and all decisions.
However, I don't understand (or cannot relate to) people not wanting others to see their baby. I think the more people waiting excitedly to love on your LO, the better. Imagine how sad it would be if no one else besides you was excited for this baby's arrival! I am not saying that people should be sitting in the delivery room watching LO arrive, and I am certainly in favour of family bonding time (as in, just the three of you), but it is her grandbaby (no quotations needed....officially, if she is the grandmother then LO is her grandbaby) and that's exciting! I'm excited every time I get a new niece or nephew not because I intend to be involved in their upbringing, but because YAY! New baby! Related to me! I'm an auntie again!
I guess my main thought is that if you are feeling possessive, I would try to work on reining that in now because people are going to be around the baby and do you really want to spend the first few months of LO's life pissed off all the time instead of enjoying it?