Bad mom? My baby's only the size of a blueberry!

mamagnome · August 2010

I just found out about a week ago that I'm pregnant, this will be our first child.

My husband and I have been married for 2 years and have been wanting to get pregnant.

I just don't "feel" pregnant! Even though 2 HPTs and a doctor's visit confirmed it, I'm not feeling that excited or maternal. The nesting feeling hasn't kicked in yet.

When people talk about my pregnancy, they give me this look that reads, "Dang girl, aren't you excited?!" I think I'm disappointing people with my lack of enthusiasm.

Is this normal?? Is there a point when it'll suddenly sink in and I won't be able to contain my joy???

iris427 · August 2010

Totally normal. There is no right or wrong way to feel about finding out you are pregnant.

You will get excited as things progress--ultrasounds, baby kicks, your growing belly, etc.

Soon2BMrs.Monty · August 2010

I think it is different for everyone. We tried to get pregnant for over a year and when I say my BFP I excited but it took me a while to feel any sort of maternal anything for the little Nugget. Once I saw the little heart beating at my first u/s it changed. It also helped when we gave it a nickname (Nugget) now I feel a little more connected to it and talk to it once in a while.

Anniekins214 · August 2010

I freaked out a bit at my BFP. I have a 7 month old, and the thought of having them so close together is a shock. (I took my BCP consistently). It sometimes does take a bit to sink in. When I realized the baby is a baby, instead of something that's throwing all of my plans for a loop, I became excited about it.

Best wishes, and a happy and healthy 9 months!

drea_raye · August 2010

It takes a while for it to sink in... I found keeping up with developmental changes helped... and hearing the heartbeat did too!

I am an obsess about it and talk all the time type person... but I don't know if I would always classify it as excitement, or enthusiasm. I am happy... I am worried... I forget for whole minutes that I am pregnant.

When I was at the blueberry point I had nothing but an HPT (or two...) to confirm... and they felt like a dream some days. You will get there Big Smile

hisbabybear · August 2010

totally normal. So many feelings are going through you as you become more and more pregnant. Itll get better. : )

Molluskwrangler · August 2010

Honestly I didn't start to feel attached to the baby till this past week, we saw her, learned the sex and I've started to feel her move around. I felt like my body wasn't my own and since I couldn't feel the baby, see or hear her it felt really abstract...you'll get there just give it time.

etude de la vie · August 2010

I was the same way. I never cried at an ultrasound (I have them every 2-3 weeks), never really felt like I was pregnant, got very weirded out when people would touch my belly (my MIL started this when I was 6 weeks), and didn't start buying baby stuff until after I found out the gender and was 100% positive she was a girl .... probably around 26 weeks or so.

Honestly it wasn't until I was really showing and felt the baby move did any connection start. After a while you knew when he/she was most likely to be active, you feel feet/arms/body parts moving, you felt him/her get the hiccups, they even start to respond to similar sounds. The "nesting" instinct didn't start for me until 36 weeks and I delivered at 38! I literally got my entire nursery together at 36 weeks!

Once she was born I had an overwhelming mothering instinct so don't worry. I am having similar feelings with this pregnancy and part of it is because I am busy chasing around DD and don't sit and think about being pregnant as much as I did with DD.

MrsLenau09 · August 2010

I don't really feel it either. DH is also not very enthusiastic (at least outwardly). I think once we see our baby and hear its heartbeat, things will be a little more exciting. It's hard to feel connected to, and excited for something that you're not even sure is there (minus the BFP), you know? I think the PP's are right, just give it time.

persiankity33 · August 2010

Im a first time mom too and i am also a blueberry! i dont feel pregnant either! except for my boobs hurting and being tired.

i told the dr i dont think its hit me yet, he said "wait till you see/hear the heartbeat"!!!!!

it feels weird i agree with you....but ur def prego~! good luck!

Sarai28 · August 2010

I've had a hard time feeling maternal/super excited because I've felt so yucky! I'm still so very grateful for this blessing. It's getting a little better and I know it'll be very exciting when I start feeling things/showing,etc.

NykkiB · August 2010

I am PG with #3 and I still don't feel maternal. I have had two blood test and both types of ultrasounds (because they thought something might be wrong) and I still don't feel maternal over it. I actually am more worries and upset by it. I know it will change will I feel it move, cause of the other kids I have but right now I'm just not there.

CutieBean79 · August 2010

Totally normal! It's so hard to be excited early on because it doesn't seem real yet and I know I worried a lot about m/c. I've also been sick a lot which diminishes the excitement. But now that time is moving on and I got to hear the baby's h/b on the doppler today, I'm getting really excited!

AggieCouple · August 2010

I didn't have any sort of connection with either of my first two until they were born. With this pregnancy, I am spending more time thinking about and looking forward to the newborn stage, but I don't feel a true connection with the little being inside of me. I think it's normal. I didn't really bond with my DD until about 2 weeks, but did bond almost instantly with my son. I think it had a lot to do with the hospital environment (they were born in different hospitals) and my stress/fear level.

Jessica0624 · August 2010

Give it some time, you just found out. You wont feel maternal until you feel that baby kicking in your belly and you see him/her move all around. Nesting doesnt usually start till later in your pregnancy. Everyones emotions are different. With my first child I didnt HIT ME unil I saw my first ultrasound and heard my sons hearbeat.. That is when you just melt and you know.

I am only 5 weeks along with my second and I dont feel pregnant at all.

kmw326 · August 2010

I've been talking about getting pregnant for about a year now and I didn't think it would happen so quickly. When we got our BFP, I was super nervous and didn't really feel excited at all. I didn't start getting excited until we told our parents and had our first u/s. I think that I was more in a state of shock that I actually got pregnant; once that wore off, then the excitement set in.

MelbaToast37 · August 2010

Don't feel bad!! I'm not feeling the crazyinlovewithbaby feelings either. In fact, I posted about it when I first joined the site and everyone was really supportive. I took my birth control regularly and consistently and was absolutely SHOCKED by my BFP. I'm still not that emotionally connected with the whole idea - it's like someone else said, it's all very abstract at this point. I'm sure it'll come in time, but I totally agree with you, it gets awkward when people are super excited for you and expect you to be bubbling over, when inside you're still kinda reeling from the whole thing. Best wishes to you and your blueberry - me and my plum are rooting for you!

Rindesai · August 2010

Don't feel bad at all. I was depressed about it and didnt't believe I was until my ultrasound. Now, I'm excited. I know when my younger sister was born, my mom wasn't excited until her seventh month! My friend was excited from the second she found out. It's normal, and I bet you'll be a good mom.

shalenap · August 2010

So nice to read all of these comments. I woke my DH up at 1 am last night sobbing (hormones anyone) because I just am not feeling maternal, and afraid it will never kick in. He very sweetly calmed me down, and reminded me that at the end of this, we're going to have a baby. (I chose to calm down rather than let that freak me out more!) Just so glad to hear that I'm not the only one who isn't feeling the Earth Mother Goddess feelings for my little lime!