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child rearing question

biddy53178biddy53178
in TTC After a Loss

ok- so both sat and sun of this weekend we had dinner with friends of ours- the mom is my DH office mate at their HS where he is the psychologist and she is the guidence counselor- they have two children- ages 7 and 10. the ten year old is the most disrespectful little sh!t in the world- granted i dont have kids but i would be mortified if my child ever acted that way around guests- i guess that we really dont fall into the guests catagory anymore as we are mostly like family- 

 that being said- i dont seen any problem with asking him to pick up after himself or be respectful to his parents and sibling. at the same time i sometimes feel like i am overstepping boundries- like it isnt my job to parent him if his parents arent- or maybe they are just too tired to battle him, idk- what do you guys think- it enrages me when he is rude- 

example would be- we went to the cape with them last summer- (ive not spent a lot of time with him this summer so my example is kinda old) so last summer it was like midnight- clearly past his bedtime- he had been asked 2-3 times to put away the laptop and get ready for bed- so finally his dad yelled at him, "alex, i said to put it away and its time for bed" alex "well i said, i dont think so" and he sat there and continued to play- well in our house (now this is speculation as we have no children but i would hope) the next step would have been to take away the laptop and that would have been the end of the laptop for the rest of the week- but they continued to let him sit on it until well after 1am until he got tired and went to bed-

what do you guys think? 

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Re: child rearing question

  • GummybearGummybear

    I agree with you. My daughter can be stubborn and I would have physically removed the laptop and put her upstairs.

     

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  • Kristin&AdamKristin&Adam

    If I were his parent, he would have had the laptop taken away and he would have been in trouble for back talking.

    I wouldn't say anything if I were you though - unless it is a safety concern, I typically stay out of it with other peoples kids.

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  • itsmeginitsmegin
    imageKristin&Adam:

    If I were his parent, he would have had the laptop taken away and he would have been in trouble for back talking.

    I wouldn't say anything if I were you though - unless it is a safety concern, I typically stay out of it with other peoples kids.

    This. It is hard seeing other kids getting away with stuff and not saying anything. DH has 3 siblings still living with his parents-18,15 and 8 and I am constantly biting my tongue when I watch what they get away with. Sometimes I think parents just get too overwhelmed and tired and they let more things go than I think I would.

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  • DawneecakesDawneecakes
    I don't have kids either but I would think I would have taken the laptop away as soon as he said no.  
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  • CashewsMommyCashewsMommy member

    Wow, yeah. A) I would have never let it get that far! B) I would have taken the laptop away for atleast a week!

    I have a 10 year old step-son, we only get him every other weekend because she lives an hour away. He is babied so bad at his moms and is given anything! At our house he tries to get away with things, but we do not allow it at all. It took a few years to get him used to it, but he is used to the way it is up here.

    That being said, I wouldn't find it bad if you had said "Alex, that was really rude of you! That's your father." but taking it any further might be overstepping your boundaries. Now if you had him alone... that'd be a totally different story. But with his parents there, it's a little much.


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  • a&b=him&mea&b=him&me member
    I agree with the ladies, he would have had it taken away for the rest of the week.
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  • damabo80damabo80 member
    imageKristin&Adam:

    If I were his parent, he would have had the laptop taken away and he would have been in trouble for back talking.

    I wouldn't say anything if I were you though - unless it is a safety concern, I typically stay out of it with other peoples kids.

    Yep. This.

    It's not my job to parent other people's kids. However, I wouldn't be adverse to asking them what parenting class they attended so I could stay away from that one Wink


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  • KristysRedBarnKristysRedBarn
    I agree with you.  If an incident happens in your home, I would say something, but if it's at their home or a neutral place, I would let it go.
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  • shouldbworkinshouldbworkin
    Ummm, I would have taken away the lap top at 9 pm when it was bedtime.  WTF?  No wonder he's like that.
    DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12
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