co-ed shower question

Merried_2008 · August 2010

Hey ladies, the in-laws are throwing a shower next weekend for us as per my request it will be co-ed, but there will be a lot of traditionalists there also. I have two questions:

1. How would you handle the opening of presents part??

2. DH keeps referring to it as my shower but it is his family and his friends (my family/friend shower is later in the month) and I don't know how to make him understand it is as much for him as it is for me.

cassylovesmike · August 2010

Handle the gifts like you would at a normal shower. The only difference is you are both opening the cards/gifts. I would just keep telling him it's his shower too, or if that didn't work I would say it's "baby's shower".

babyonthebrain2010 · August 2010

just have him sit next to you and help open gifts. you can still be the primary gift opener and be the one to hold up all of the cute stuff, but since he's there people will want to see his reactions too. my only suggestion.. especially if there are a ton of people (men) there.. would be to keep the gift opening brief. open a gift, thank the giver, show it off and move to the next one. people, in general, don't want to watch you open gifts for hours on end.. men especially.

Mrs.B6302007 · August 2010

Merried_2008:
Hey ladies, the in-laws are throwing a shower next weekend for us as per my request it will be co-ed, but there will be a lot of traditionalists there also. I have two questions:
1. How would you handle the opening of presents part??
2. DH keeps referring to it as my shower but it is his family and his friends (my family/friend shower is later in the month) and I don't know how to make him understand it is as much for him as it is for me.

You asked your ILs to throw you a shower or are you saying that when they offered, you asked for it to be co-ed? I'm hoping it's the latter because it's in bad form to ask someone to host a shower for you.

Your DH is probably referring to it as your shower because he's a guy and most guys don't give a flip about the things that make us gals go "squeeee!". I imagine guys would be more into hanging out on the back porch/another room drinking beer maybe playing cards while the women do the present opening oooing and awwwing and then taking a quick peek at the items if they were displayed on a table. Agree with pp: emphasize that it's for the baby while you are both opening and keep it moving along as much as possible.

northtamarack · August 2010

The host should be the one to decide when to move the party along. If I were you, I'd sit back and take your cue from the IL's on how it will be done. Maybe they will announce that you will be opening gifts inside if anyone wants to join. Maybe they will have you all sitting in a circle like a traditional shower. Personally, I would have DH sit by me. I would spend some time with him before hand as I would want to expidite the process and he may not be familar with how to do this.

I would let number 2 just go. Has he ever been to a co-ed shower? Maybe he is just unsure of the whole process. The only time that I wouldn't let it go is if you don't feel like he will be your partner and help when the baby comes.

Shelley-Bean · August 2010

What does DH want to do? The 2 co-ed baby showers I have been to went like this: 1) The first one was a young couple, and the father spent the night at the bar drinking and smoking cigarettes while his wife opened the presents. 2) The 2nd one, the wife made him sit up with her and open presents and he looked like he would rather have had chopsticks shoved in his eyes and ears than sit there opening baby gifts he had no idea what they were. See what DH wants to do and go from there.

Stellar1 · August 2010

We had a huge co-ed baby shower. When we opened presents, my dh and I sat in our living room and whoever wanted to watch us open gifts sat in the room with us. Those who didn't, continued on with the party around us. It was a huge hit and DH and his friends had a great time!

I_luv_a_rican · August 2010

We did a co-ed "shower" for our first baby but instead of calling it a shower we called it a baby party I wanted it to have more of a party feel anyway.

We opened presents but kept everything else going so folks could watch if they wanted or continue with the party.

Merried_2008 · August 2010

Mrs.B6302007:
Merried_2008:
Hey ladies, the in-laws are throwing a shower next weekend for us as per my request it will be co-ed, but there will be a lot of traditionalists there also. I have two questions:
1. How would you handle the opening of presents part??
2. DH keeps referring to it as my shower but it is his family and his friends (my family/friend shower is later in the month) and I don't know how to make him understand it is as much for him as it is for me.
You asked your ILs to throw you a shower or are you saying that when they offered, you asked for it to be co-ed? I'm hoping it's the latter because it's in bad form to ask someone to host a shower for you.
Your DH is probably referring to it as your shower because he's a guy and most guys don't give a flip about the things that make us gals go "squeeee!". I imagine guys would be more into hanging out on the back porch/another room drinking beer maybe playing cards while the women do the present opening oooing and awwwing and then taking a quick peek at the items if they were displayed on a table. Agree with pp: emphasize that it's for the baby while you are both opening and keep it moving along as much as possible.

I would never ask for a shower to be held for me, they offered repeatedly. I asked that if they were going to throw one to please make it co-ed so I wouldn't be stuck alone with them and would have DH by my side. I thought it would be fun, but they've turned it into a very fussy formal affair...

Merried_2008 · August 2010

Thanks ladies for your help and advice.

Should be an interesting day.

Mrs.B6302007 · August 2010

Gotcha. I wasn't sure which side of the sentence "per my request" belonged to.

LMark · August 2010

Most baby showers I go to are usually co-ed, including our own. DH opened presents right along with me. If other male guests wanted to watch, they could. If they didn't, we were ok with that too. Most of the games are usually played by the ladies. Prizes are not gender-specific either.

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