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3rd Trimester
ctana
member
Comment from Manager about upcoming Mat Leave - inappropriate? WWYD?
ctana
member
Today my immediate supervisor (manager) approached me to ask when I would be taking 'vacation' - I know he meant maternity leave. I was taken off guard and quite frankly to refer to it as such kind of bothered me.
First question - to refer to this as a vacation p*ssed me off. Should I be upset at this? A friend of mine who works in HR told me it's inappropriate to refer to a medical leave (which is officially what a maternity leave is) as a vacation is wrong and that I should alert HR. Had he said it to me in a way that didn't come off as condescending or snarky I would have ignored it, but he did say it quite snarky.
What would you do? Should I email our HR rep or let my director know? FTR, my director (a man) has NEVER ever referred to my prior pregnancy as a vacation and was completely PC in his communications with me and respectful of my rights.
I think what made me feel offended is that I got the sense that his perception of me taking leave is a leisure thing, and as such, subject to approval. I work for a large company in which employees can exercise their FMLA rights.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Comment from Manager about upcoming Mat Leave - inappropriate? WWYD?
Because you're probably pissed right now (and I do NOT blame you) I would just wait a bit and see if it is still bothering you later. If it is, definitely go to HR.
I had my boss last year tell me that a 2 week vacation is too much. He told me this after I had returned from my 2 week annual training for the Army national guard. Yes, living in a field doing, sleeping on a cot, showering out of a 5 gallon jug on the back of a wrecker, training for 2 weeks is totally vacation. A$$.
I secrectly think to myself that my maternity leave is vacation because I'll be at home and I can't wait. But technically that is not what it is, and your boss should know better.
Unable to even.
********************
You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
As long as it's not actually being recorded as vacation by HR, and everything is in line correctly with them-- relax.
Probably the term that came up in his mind first. No need to get all riled up.
If he's been PC up until now, I would just let it go, because he didn't mean anything by it.
If you have a good relationship with him, I would just say something along the lines of, "Yeah, next vacation, I plan on going someplace more fun than the hospital!" It'll remind him that mat leave isn't vacay.
I agree with you, but I wouldn't assume she's getting a PAID leave. FMLA has nothing to do with getting paid, it just ensures that your job will be held for you for a certain period of time. I believe that the ladies who get a PAID maternity leave in America are a vast minority to those who do not (whether they are self employed or not).
Agreed.
11-15-08
12-1-10
I love when I am trying to be less snarky and someone comes out and says EXACTLY what I really wanted to say...Thanks!
I can see where you were offended, but IMO it was just a stupid comment rather than anything harmful. If it makes you feel better, bring it up, but I don't think anything more will come out of it.
Also, I'm not sure if it works by state, or if your state was involved... but I know Massachusetts just had FMLA revised. Employers are not required to give as much time off as previously for maternity leave, and the rights have been cut back big time. Not fair at all, but just some information to share that you might want to look into.
Thanks everyone. I don't want to stir the pot, but for the record, due to cultural differences, this manager is extremely condescending to the three women (out of approx 20 employees) who work for him.
I do not have to go through him to officially file for FMLA time or the STD time. He is merely informed. He will have no hand in how it's classified - he will be merely informed once the paperwork is in place.
If it comes up again I will gently let him know the proper term for maternity leave is certainly not vacation.
I'm going to be a lone voice of dissent on this and ask the following question - is this a habitual problem with him? Have there been other comments or just this one?
If there have been others, I'd start to be a little concerned about the behavior. If this is a one and done, then he's just an idiot and that's that. If it's a pattern of behavior, then there are other things to consider - such as how he's going to treat you when you get back.
If it was me I would have looked at him when he said it with a confused look and said "vacation? I am not planning on going on vacation. Did you mean maternity leave?" and left it at that.
Yes, there have been other comments from him before, this is not the only one and I do worry about how he will treat me upon return.
That said, I have a great relationship with his boss, my director, and have no problem with going to him to voice my concern about his misuse of the term. I will let my director know that his use of the term was not PC and I'll ignore this occurence.
Trust me when I say, he was not kidding.
He asked it, when I told him my scheduled C-sec date he walked away.
He is not someone I have ever kidded with nor have I observed others kid with.
I'd put it behind me for now, BUT if he kept emphasizing the term "vacation" or making it seem as if it were something to scoff at, then I would call him out on it directly and ask him to use the correct term FMLA leave. If his attitude didn't change, then I would probably be furious enough to contact HR.