Foster care adoption mamas - HELP plz — The Bump
Adoption

Foster care adoption mamas - HELP plz

Hello ladies,

 DH and I are talking about doing foster care adoption.  We are not 100% on the time line yet.  DH is hesistant and has a few apprehensions.  If you have a moment, can you please answer the following questions:

1.  Have you encountered any drama from having a mixed race family? Has the child expressed any issues with it?

2. If you legally adopt the child, is there any chance they can still be taken from you and placed with someone else?

3.  How much does it cost (we are in IL)

4.  Would you recommend having our biological children first and then adopting (so the adopted children would be the youngest) or adopt amongst our own age-wise?

5.  Does the state provide any counseling?  We don't mind paying for it ourselves, but if there are resources available, we would obviously take whatever is available.

6.  After adoption, do you continue to get financial compensation (same as #5, if we don't, thats totally fine!  But we'll take whatever).

Thank you SO much for taking the time to help me out!  This process is extremely new to us and any help you 'vetrans" can provide, Id appreciate!!!

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DS#2 diagnosed with Eosinophilic Esophagitis, laryngomalacia, apnea, Sandifer's Syndrome, torticollis, plagiocephaly, and MSPI. Starting Birth-3 EI program.

Re: Foster care adoption mamas - HELP plz

  • We are just now going through the inspectons to become a certified foster/adopt family but I can answer some of your questions.

    1.  Have you encountered any drama from having a mixed race family? Has the child expressed any issues with it?  Our agency tries to match race even in foster homes.  I would love to have a child of a different race but as my wife puts it "Imagine how it would feel first of all to be a foster child, to have lost your family; then imagine how it would feel to suddenly have 2 Moms; then imagine how it would feel to look different from everyone in your new family; now imagine how the kids at school would treat you because of all those things."  We will take ANY child given to us but that puts things in perspective from the child's point of view.

    2. If you legally adopt the child, is there any chance they can still be taken from you and placed with someone else?  I'm not sure how it works in IL but here in CA once you legally adopt a child, no one can take them from you.

    3.  How much does it cost (we are in IL)  With the agency we are going through, it's free.  The only thing we are paying for is 2 sets of fingerprinting.

    4.  Would you recommend having our biological children first and then adopting (so the adopted children would be the youngest) or adopt amongst our own age-wise?  We already have one child of our own and will adopt our future children.  Our agency prefers people who already have experience with children; parents, caregivers, etc.  They won't turn away a couple that can't have their own kids though.  Do whatever feels comfortable for you.

    5.  Does the state provide any counseling?  We don't mind paying for it ourselves, but if there are resources available, we would obviously take whatever is available.  Our agency provides counseling services as I believe most agencies do.

    6.  After adoption, do you continue to get financial compensation (same as #5, if we don't, thats totally fine!  But we'll take whatever).  We were told that it's about 50% of the amount you get during foster care, plus free medical and dental for life for the child.

    I would suggest finding a few agencies and talking to someone in the foster/adopt department to get a better idea of how they work.

  • 1.  Have you encountered any drama from having a mixed race family? Has the child expressed any issues with it?

    We've mostly Hispanic children and we're caucasian. However, I'm olive toned so no one ever questions. One child however - Hispani/Native America/Black, but still never brought up any drama. They just want a nice loving home for these children while they're in care. The oldest child we had never expressed anything about being a different race. 

    2. If you legally adopt the child, is there any chance they can still be taken from you and placed with someone else?

    Once they are adopted, they are yours. BUT ONLY if they are adopted. Typically they (DFPS) searched high and low for any relatives. after TPR, family has 90 days to appeal or intervene.  

    3.  How much does it cost (we are in IL)

    THrough foster care, it's virtually free, with little cost if any. The emotional cost is much higher because you attach to these children.  

    4.  Would you recommend having our biological children first and then adopting (so the adopted children would be the youngest) or adopt amongst our own age-wise?

    We don't currently have biological children and we have two adopted boys - 2 1/2 and 10 months old. We are going to TTC again on our own in time. 

    5.  Does the state provide any counseling?  We don't mind paying for it ourselves, but if there are resources available, we would obviously take whatever is available.

    The state provides counseling for the children if they need it.  

    6.  After adoption, do you continue to get financial compensation (same as #5, if we don't, thats totally fine!  But we'll take whatever)

    In the state of Texas - the child has to be over the age of 2 to get any type of stipened until they are the age of 18, or any child of special needs. Sibling groups are considered "special needs" because there's 2 or more. . They also get Medicaid until they are 18 and being adopted through the state, they will receive free tuition to any state school of their choice.  

  • We already have one adopted DD and one bio DD.  We are starting foster care training here in a few months and we aren't sure whats going to happen in terms of foster/adoption, it really isn't the point of foster to go in with the mind set of adoption but if it happens we will be over the moon happy about it.  But we know the foster system is designed to be a short term care and have the child placed back with family.  So we are trying to not get our rolls confused because we don't want to be devistated if/when a child does leave our care to go back to their birth family.

    With that said I will answer your questions as best I can;

    1.  Have you encountered any drama from having a mixed race family? Has the child expressed any issues with it? n/a but I have friends that have 2 mixed raced children and its never ever been an issue.  

    2. If you legally adopt the child, is there any chance they can still be taken from you and placed with someone else? NO NO and NO.  Once its legal....its FOREVER. 

    3.  How much does it cost (we are in IL).  I have no idea haha.  Ours was a private agency the first time and it was about 40,000 but thru the state is MUCH MUCH less.  When you foster they give YOU money to help with the childs expenses.  

    4.  Would you recommend having our biological children first and then adopting (so the adopted children would be the youngest) or adopt amongst our own age-wise?  Our adopted DD is 5 months older than our bio DD and we will hopefully have another bio child at some point and foster children.   I don't think it matters what "order" they are in.

    5.  Does the state provide any counseling?  We don't mind paying for it ourselves, but if there are resources available, we would obviously take whatever is available. Yes our state has resources available for foster families. 

    6.  After adoption, do you continue to get financial compensation (same as #5, if we don't, thats totally fine!  But we'll take whatever).   No unless its a "special needs child" which in my state means;

    1.  older than 8

    2.  of any race besides white

    3.  sibling group

    4.  actual special need- like mentally or physically

    There is one more and I forget....sorry.

     

     

    GL to you sweetie!

      

    "I have four children. Two are adopted. I forget which two. -Bob Constantine

    "All for Love,' a Saviour prayed 'Abba Father have Your way. Though they know not what they do...Let the Cross draw men to You...."

  • 1.  Have you encountered any drama from having a mixed race family? Has the child expressed any issues with it? This did not apply to our situation- sorry cannot comment.

    2. If you legally adopt the child, is there any chance they can still be taken from you and placed with someone else? No, once termination of parental rights has happened- and you have legally adopted that child- that child is yours.

    3.  How much does it cost (we are in IL) Our county pays for everything, and will reimburse up to $250 for the attorney to finalize the adoption. You do have to front the money to the attorney. Our adoption worker gave us a list of attorney's that they use alot to finalize- they all charge right around the $250.

    4.  Would you recommend having our biological children first and then adopting (so the adopted children would be the youngest) or adopt amongst our own age-wise? our soon to be adopted child is our only- so sorry I cannot comment. I think you have to do what's best for you.

    5.  Does the state provide any counseling?  We don't mind paying for it ourselves, but if there are resources available, we would obviously take whatever is available. Our county will provide counseling for the child if necessary while they are in foster care. Once the adoption is final all counseling would be at the expence of the adoptive parents.

    6.  After adoption, do you continue to get financial compensation (same as #5, if we don't, thats totally fine!  But we'll take whatever). I have heard so many different things in our county. You can fight to keep the medicaid insurance (I have a friend who did this on both of her kids, they will have medicaid until they are 18, it's secondary insurance to the parents insurance) I do not think the monthly stipend continues unless there is an extreme need, but I do not have any experience with this. We are not expecting our monthy stipend to contine after the adoption is final.


     

    Our Journey from two to three! 3 IUI's, 2 IVF's, decided to move to foster/adopt. 12/24/2009 Baby C born, 2/1/2010 placed with us, 5/17/2011 Adoption final- we are finally a forever family! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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