OBC/BOLC and Paternity Leave
bitsnbobs
member
DH called home from OBC this afternoon--and he gets his 10 days of paternity leave! It won't count against him and he'll graduate with the rest of the class! I was fully prepared for him to miss LO's arrival and was okay with that. But this is so much better!
However, I have to get my doctor's office and hospital send the school a "doctor's note" that I am in fact pregnant and what my due date is. He'll have to put in for a pass 10 days before he can go on leave. Is that how it normally works (just curious)? He's planning on asking for leave as late as the midwife suggests because he'd rather spend time with LO than waiting around for her arrival if she comes after her EDD. I'm a little sad, because, while he'll be able to spend a lot of time with LO, there's still the chance that he'll miss the birth 
.
Also, if he were to ask for leave a week after my EDD, his leave would run up to the 4 day Thanksgiving weekend... Does anyone have any experience with paternity leave coinciding with/running into a holiday weekend? If so, how did that work?
Re: OBC/BOLC and Paternity Leave
In OBC/BOLC, Thanksgiving is just another day. The O's I know don't normally get a pass or leave. They do normally get Exodus around Christmas.
He has to put in his leave request 10 days before or 10 days before for a pass? By regulation he can not take a pass before taking leave. I'm just trying to clarify.
He'll be done before Christmas, anyway, so that makes no difference. It seems rather odd that they would get all other 4-day weekends that the Army takes and not Thanksgiving... Just saying. Not that anything they do makes a whole lot of sense...
He has to put in his request 10 business days before he can actually take his leave... which means we have to be psychic about when LO will make her appearance. I think the pass has something to do with travel since I am a good 8 hour drive away.
I swear, they treated him more like an adult when he was enlisted.
Mmm, for most Soldiers it takes so long to get home that it's not worth a 4 day pass for Thanksgiving. I've known plenty of Soldiers in various types of training(usually basic or OBC) that haven't gotten to come home for Thanksgiving.
And I highly doubt they're giving him a pass. I can understand he has to put in a request for leave 10 days before he wants to take it but if someone is giving him a pass for his travel time, they're dead wrong.
I have no idea and he seems to be as confused as I am--and he was prior enlisted. After i read your post, I asked him about his schedule--he gets every other training date/public holiday EXCEPT Thanksgiving... I just find it really odd that they take Columbus Day but not Thanksgiving? I work for the state and I don't get Columbus Day!
But I guess that's neither here nor there. I guess the biggest issue is going to be trying to "schedule" the birth of our child (hahaha) around their very odd schedule and the Thanksgiving Holiday--I really don't want him driving with Thanksgiving traffic and plane tickets are going to be horrendous. But if he were to take leave on my EDD, he would miss a huge test, a paper, a presentation, and a briefing from the commanding general. I just don't see any point in making "plans" for him to miss those things if we can help it... And if he were to start his leave at midnight after those things, he would be driving/flying back the day before Thanksgiving. Now I'm just frustrated and wondering why he's even bothering at all--a month after the big test/paper/briefing/presentation day, he'll be graduated and done, anyway.
But thanks for your help! I would probably be babbling at him about who knows what while he tried to explain to me that I make absolutely no sense and need to get my type-A personality under control. (In fact, after i explained about the fifth time why i was confused about the Thanksgiving/leave/pass business, he said the same thing about regulations and travel stuff you did--so obviously i am the incompetent one). But again, thanks!
Just because they give him 10 days doesn't mean he has to take all 10 days. He can do 8 or 9 and then get back before most of the crazy T-giving travel days. I know that is less time with you and the LO, but it may be easier. Plus, if it were me traveling back to training, I wouldn't want to risk getting delayed or having my flight canceled and getting back late.
I know most people don't like the idea of intervention to get labor going. I don't like the idea of being induced. However, my H was due to deploy 4 days after my due date. We had already had issues with preterm labor and me being on bedrest to stop it since 29 weeks. At 39 weeks, I was 2 cm dialated. We talked it over with my midwife and she said let's get things going so he can see his daddy some. She stripped my membranes and used evening primrose oil. Almost exactly 24 hours later, my husband was holding our son.
Talk to your midwife and see if she can help you along if you are showing signs of dialation.
I guess I didn't consider that he could take less than the 10 days... Definitely something we'll have to talk over. There is another guy with him whose wife is due 3 days after me, so it sounded like they were going to go ask some questions of the cadre together. I'll be sure to demand that leave logistics be on the list
I'm not completely against the stripping of membranes, but I don't want to go out of my way to plan an induction unless its a medical necessity. Unfortunately, the midwives at my OB's office just retired and they just brought a new person in (I decided to not mess with Tricare until we PCS in January, especially since I would have to change from one region to another, so I am still on the medical insurance offered by my employer). I will meet her for the first time in a week and a half, so I have not even a clue what her philosophy will be on all of this. However, the good thing is she spent the first 20 years of her career in the Army midwife, so at least she knows what we're up against...
Thanks for the suggestions!
The thing about stripping membranes is that it isn't considered an induction. They only do it if you are already showing signs of impending labor, ie you are dialating. My midwife would only do it if you were 2 or more cm dialated. It isn't like breaking your water. They separate the amniotic sac from the cervic. An article with an explaination from a midwife.
One of the guys in my platoon at OBC had a DA 31 without dates signed and approved, just waiting for the phone call that his wife was in labor. S1 added the dates later on. I happened to be sitting next to the dad in class when the text came through that his wife had been admitted to L&D. He showed me the text, had a huge grin on his face, and the instructor knew immediately what was up. He excused himself from the class, was on a flight within 2 hours, and was there for the birth of his son. He used his 10 days paternity leave, and was considered "graduated" from the course since the birth was 2 weeks before the end of the course anyways. The instructors and commander were incredibly accomodating for the entire situation.
My DH will be in CCC during my third trimester, his class graduates the week before I am due. They will work out a similar arrangement- if I go into labor, he will leave. No issue. You will find that there is much, much more flexibility in O courses than in E courses- especially for initial training such as OBC.
Not sure how it will work for BOLC II- DH and I commissioned prior to BOLC II being required for AMEDD, so I have no experience in that area.