Spending this morn crying (kinda long)

BlakeG · August 2010

We had our block party yesterday. DH's bff showed up with his pregnant wife. According to when they originally told us she was KU she should only be about 3 months but she looks more like 5 months. As soon as I saw her in her skin tight shirt showing her belly I almost started crying but I held it together. She proceeded to spend the rest of the day rubbing her belly and drawing as much attention to her pregnancy as possible (complaining that her back ached, rubbing her belly, adjusting her shirt, etc). I just stayed at the opposite end of the table and tried to ignore her.

Maybe I am just being hyper-sensitive but I just think it's so insensitive of her. She knows everything I am going through. She knows I had a m/c. She knows that after the m/c we found out that we were Thalassemia carriers. She knows that we need to do IVF now and that I am heartbroken over all of this. When they told us they were pg I cried in their house. Knowing all of this and even seeing me cry you think if she comes to MY house she would have a little tact and not throw her pg in my face. I mean you just started showing do you really need to sit there and rub your belly the whole time?!

I held it together yesterday but I woke up this morning and I can't stop crying or thinking about it. On top o f it, I feel so guilty for feeling so upset but I also feel like if I knew someone was going through everything I was, I wouldn't be an AW in their presence about my pg. Am I just being a ***?

KK1109 · August 2010

That really stinks! (hugs!!) Are you close enough to her that you can tell her it was a little challenging for you to be around her? It might make you feel better to get it out of your head/off your chest.

shelshel79 · August 2010

I'm sorry...(((hugs)))

AGFaso · August 2010

ugh yuck. I'm so sorry hun (( hugs ))

BlakeG · August 2010

KK1109:
That really stinks! (hugs!!) Are you close enough to her that you can tell her it was a little challenging for you to be around her? It might make you feel better to get it out of your head/off your chest.

I barely know her. Yesterday was literally the 3rd time I have ever hung out with her (she's from Italy and only came here in Dec so we haven't hung out much). When she announced her PG it was the 2nd time I met her. After I stopped crying (after her announcement), she spent the rest of that day asking me what happens at the OB appts since she didn't know what American doctors do. Umm I just cried at your kitchen table do you really want to make me relive all my appointments?? After that, I'm not surprised how she acted yesterday. She's one of those FH's that now thinks the world revolves around her pregnancy.

CashewsMommy · August 2010

((((hugs)))) You are not being a *** you have the right to be upset! I hope you can get her out of your mind though. I hope today is better! Enjoy it!

cutebride73 · August 2010

I am so sorry - that is terrible. I don't know if there are cultural issues at play - her being from Italy and not used to general american tact in these types of situations - or if she is just a b!tch, but maybe your DH can say something to his bff about it. You certainly should not have to put up with something like that in your own home or anywhere else for that matter. Maybe she is just clueless, like many people are, about how to act towards someone who has had a m/c, but that is still no excuse and someone needs to enlighten her about it. I am just so sorry.

sunflowr0803 · August 2010

Ugh, what an annoying FH. I'm so sorry you had to go through that yesterday. ((BIG HUGS))

BlakeG · August 2010

cutebride73:
I am so sorry - that is terrible. I don't know if there are cultural issues at play - her being from Italy and not used to general american tact in these types of situations - or if she is just a b!tch, but maybe your DH can say something to his bff about it. You certainly should not have to put up with something like that in your own home or anywhere else for that matter. Maybe she is just clueless, like many people are, about how to act towards someone who has had a m/c, but that is still no excuse and someone needs to enlighten her about it. I am just so sorry.

I really think she is just clueless. The thing is, her DH is so sensitive and even apologized to me when she blurted out the news. He knew it was in appropriate and had no intentions of telling me so soon. He totally gets it but she doesn't seem to care. She just cares about her excitement.

KK1109 · August 2010

BlakeG:
cutebride73:
I am so sorry - that is terrible. I don't know if there are cultural issues at play - her being from Italy and not used to general american tact in these types of situations - or if she is just a b!tch, but maybe your DH can say something to his bff about it. You certainly should not have to put up with something like that in your own home or anywhere else for that matter. Maybe she is just clueless, like many people are, about how to act towards someone who has had a m/c, but that is still no excuse and someone needs to enlighten her about it. I am just so sorry.
I really think she is just clueless. The thing is, her DH is so sensitive and even apologized to me when she blurted out the news. He knew it was in appropriate and had no intentions of telling me so soon. He totally gets it but she doesn't seem to care. She just cares about her excitement.

In this case, I say EVEN BETTER that you don't know her that well. If I were you...I'd say something to her--not exactly gently--and not really care if she finds me to be harsh.

e_uecker · August 2010

I don't think you. Those things hurt, and you can't help but be hurt. After all of this I have promised myself that I wont be "THAT" pregnant girl. It's just too much.

Laurakat81 · August 2010

I'm so sorry she was like that. You have every right to be upset. I just don't get why others can be so insensitive and rude...makes me sick.

Aniegbuna · August 2010

After your responses to our inquiries about her missing the I guess "American" common decency (I thought that this was universal thing to have tact when you know someone just lost their fvcking baby!) I have decided that she is a stupid skank...I reserve that word for very special occasions

shanna82 · August 2010

Sorry sweetie! That is tough-what a twat this girl is! I know a few girls KU right now that know about my m/c and none of them act like that! I would be very upset too!

Try to avoid her as much as possible. *hugs*

BlakeG · August 2010

Thanks girls. My plan is to just avoid her like the plague until she has the baby.

ColleenS629 · August 2010

Avoidance sounds like a good plan. What an insensitive FH.

kmount · August 2010

((hugs))

Izabella22 · August 2010

I'm sorry - that really blows. I would have been upset in that situation, she sounds like an idiot. And I hate when people blame "cultural" differences for the real problem - they're just fsking stupid!

pennynjon · August 2010

I am sorry, Blake. You have a right to be upset. That was really insensitive of her. ((hugs))

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