Blended Families
CurlyQ284
member
Fighting in front of skids - Opinion
CurlyQ284
member
The other post got me thinking. Over the summer when we had SDs, DH would snap at me for whatever and then when I start to defend myself he'd say "Don't fight in front of the kids!" It's really weird because the entire rest of the year, he hates confrontation. He says we'll "talk about it later" but we talk, he agrees with me that it was a crappy move, and then he forgets and does it again.
I kind of feel like he's using the kids as a sheild. Is it better that I just shut up? I know it's horrible to fight in front of the kids but my mom NEVER stood up to my dad, and I think worse of her for it. Thoughts?
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Re: Fighting in front of skids - Opinion
We have a strict no fighting rule in front of the skids. BUT there have been 2 or 3 moments where something has happened and I can see he is about to flip out or he actually makes a comment I insantly give him "the look" and it is shut down until we are alone.
If he were to insult me or actually be rude to me in front of them. I would stand up to him in that I would make it known that he will not treat me that way. With having SS's and their BM's not being in steady relationships I want them to see a healthy relationship and set an example on how they should treat women in the future.
I think it's healthy for them to see you argue. Arguments are a part of life. I don't want my dd or ss growing up thinking that life is some kind of Utopia and you should never ever disagree.
I don't think a full on screaming and swearing match is healthy. SS saw enough of that when he lived with bm. I think he would burst into tears if we did that here.
I would call my husband out if he snapped at me, If the kids see him being rude and snappy towards you they will be rude and snappy to you as well. I think it is healthy for kids to see there adult figures get into dis-agreements then watch them work it out. It will help the children develop problem solving skills.
This is a good post, makes me regreat not telling my DH to grow the hell up. Staying silent, sulking and 'ruining' dinner was not really the appropriate response.
hummmmmm.
I agree. My mom never saw her parents fight when she was growing up. She had completely unrealistic expectations of a marriage when her and my dad were married.
I agree with this. Arguing and resolving in front of children helps them to learn problem solving skills and communication skills.
We also kiss, hug, dance, play, tickle, and snuggle in front of the kids (step and bio). I think children should know what a healthy relationship looks like - I never did until I dated someone with normal parents!
Cheers to that! We have had our disagreements in front of LO our only ground rule is that if it's something reguarding LO/BM we do don't do it in front of her.
Disagreements and snips are a part of life. I think as long as there is a begining, a middle, and an end. As long as it's not an everyday sort of thing I think it's healthy.