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miscarriage expert

biddy53178biddy53178
in TTC After a Loss

so i have been very open at work about my m/c- i feel like almost to a point where people are like wtf are you  still  talking about it for- so today im happily minding my buisness, had just come out of a meeting with my manager about my "attitude" (another story all together) and our intepretor pulled me into an empty patient room and the following transpired,

her: "when you had your m/c how did you know it was happening"

me: "well, i didn't know, i went by myself to my 12 week NT scan and there was no hb"

her: "ohhh" (kicking her feet on the ground, not really looking at me)

me:  "why"

her:  "well, im pg" (kick in stomach)

me: "well whats going on" 

her "well im bleeding, and my back hurts, i called my OB and she said 'well one of two things is happening, one you are either just bleeding as some women do or you are losing your baby, but i cant see you, if you continue to bleed go to the ER" as she bursts into tears-

i felt AWFUL- for two reasons- one, i was annoyed that all of a sudden im the "expert", the all knowing one, two, because its just sad- i tried to assure her that maybe its nothing, that my best friend bled through her entire pregnancy and had a healthy baby girl in march. she was freaking out about having to wait until next week for an u/s. i told her if she really wanted to know she could have one of the docs do an u/s in the ER we work in, that i am sure they wouldnt mind but that she would need to mentally prepare herself for the bad outcome- she decided to not do that and then went home- i called her around 9 tonight to check how she was doing- she was sobbing on the phone- you could hear her three year old asking her, "mommy, why you cry,  and mommy why you sad?" it broke my heart- because it brought back all that gut wrenching emotion that i felt- the dissolving of the hope of this child- i really hope her outcome is good but she was still bleeding heavily at that point with fairly severe cramping- so im sure that she is in fact miscarrying. i feel like crying just typing this- it sucks a$$ to be "the expert" 

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Re: miscarriage expert

  • owenstowenst
    {{hugs}}  I'm sure that was really hard, but it was super nice of you to check on her.
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  • ikissedthecookikissedthecook
    Ugh, I'm sorry. I recently went through a similar situation with my good friend and co-worker. Its a diificult situation. (((Hugs)))
    married 09.06.08
    BFP #1 - m/c on 12.22.09 @ 8w3d
    BFP #2 - d&c on 07.22.10 @11w1d
    BFP #3 - DS born on 06.22.11 @41w3d!
    BFP #4 - Due 04.24.13
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  • Kristin&AdamKristin&Adam
    I'm sorry you had to go through all of those emotions again, it was very kind of you to check in on her though.  Hopefully it works out for her. Hugs!
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  • armysis24armysis24
    I'm sorry that you had to experience that. But it was really thoughtful of you to be so kind and reach out to her at this difficult time. My thoughts and prayers are with your friend.
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  • sunsetlovesunsetlove member
    i was in the same boat last year.. a close family relative was pg last year.. but it was more how can i prevent a m/c and what are the signs of m/c.. when she was asking the questions all i kept thinking in my mind was .. oh thank you for having me talk about the the ordeal again.. i went through the grieving process and now i'm feeling better to move forward ( i was annoyed).. all i can say to her was talk to your doctor, but if you need anything call me..i agree it sucks being labeled "the expert".. i kept thinking.. i didn't know the signs either.. i just went to my obgyn.. and all of the sudden my obgyn tells me she doesn't see a heartbeat.. my heart goes out to your co-worker.. it's good she has gone to you for support..
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers BFP 2# 7/5/09,EDD:3/26/10,MC:9/23/09. We Miss our Lucky Charm.
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  • millejj1millejj1 member
    I'm so sorry! It's so hard to have to relive your experience while trying to comfort someone else. I'm sending you some extra strength and hugs today!
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  • kmountkmount member
    I hope the baby is ok.  Sorry that you are the "expert", but I too am very open about my m/cs BECAUSE I had no one to talk to when I was going through it (besides the lovely ladies here, of course) and I want others to know that they can talk to me-- kwim?
    m/c 12/20/09 @ 5 1/2 weeks ~ CP 1/25/09 @ 4 weeks ~ missed m/c 4/6/10 (stopped growing @ 6 weeks, stayed with me until 10) ~Foster parent to B, 9/10-1/12~ Proud Mother of Gage Stephen, born 12/26/12 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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