if your parents offered to pay off your credit card debt...

Quiksilver620 · August 2010

and you could set up monthly payments to pay them back, would you do it? I was upset about our debt situation and was telling my mom how we were going to the bank tomorrow to get a personal loan to pay off 10K in credit card debt and she offered us the money. I feel so foolish that it's come to this, but there is a whole back story about DH being injured at work and then he was out of work for almost 2 years.

Anyway, a loan from my parents would be interest free and we could pay them back over about 2 years or we could not accept their money and pay it back over about 4 years at 11% interest.

I feel like this should be an easy decision, but I HATE asking for help.

grinsandgiggles · August 2010

I would do it, but make sure you can pay it. Don't take the money if you have any doubts - that can cause a lot of problems in your family.

LLB430 · August 2010

I would accept it. As long as you can pay them back.

happy_wife · August 2010

Personally? No. You know your situation and your family, but if we did that, it would open up my parents to comment or question every.single.thing. we spent money on. And, not just until the loan was paid off, but even after because I know they would have an 'opinion' on how we should be careful not to get in that situation again.

I am of the opinion that if you 'loan' someone money you should consider it a gift and never expect anything back, even if the person you loan it to wants to pay you back. That way there are no hard feelings or attachment. DH and I paid 5k for his brother's divorce, because he couldn't afford the proper representation to keep joint custody of his 2 kids, and had NO problem with it. We had been amazingly blessed at the time and could do so. That was 3 years ago and he has given us a few hundred dollars in 'repayment', but I would rather him use the money on his kiddos.

But, don't feel bad asking for help. Every time someone we know needed monetary help we were blessed in a way that it was a clear sign of why we were blessed. Everyone needs help sometime. YOu may need it now, but will be able to help someone when they need it.

HTH.

monlyn9 · August 2010

I would only accept it if your parents were not the kind to have strings attached and use it to manipulate you. If you have ever had any sort of boundary issues with them, I would take the bank loan instead.

mistresscox · August 2010

happy_wife:
Personally? No. You know your situation and your family, but if we did that, it would open up my parents to comment or question every.single.thing. we spent money on. And, not just until the loan was paid off, but even after because I know they would have an 'opinion' on how we should be careful not to get in that situation again.
I am of the opinion that if you 'loan' someone money you should consider it a gift and never expect anything back, even if the person you loan it to wants to pay you back. That way there are no hard feelings or attachment. DH and I paid 5k for his brother's divorce, because he couldn't afford the proper representation to keep joint custody of his 2 kids, and had NO problem with it. We had been amazingly blessed at the time and could do so. That was 3 years ago and he has given us a few hundred dollars in 'repayment', but I would rather him use the money on his kiddos.
But, don't feel bad asking for help. Every time someone we know needed monetary help we were blessed in a way that it was a clear sign of why we were blessed. Everyone needs help sometime. YOu may need it now, but will be able to help someone when they need it.
HTH.

these are my sentiments exactly. personally I wouldn't for fear that they would try to manipulate for a long time to come, but I don't know your and your parent's relationship, so it's a tough call. but either way, good luck.

grinsandgiggles · August 2010

happy_wife:
Personally? No. You know your situation and your family, but if we did that, it would open up my parents to comment or question every.single.thing. we spent money on. And, not just until the loan was paid off, but even after because I know they would have an 'opinion' on how we should be careful not to get in that situation again.
I am of the opinion that if you 'loan' someone money you should consider it a gift and never expect anything back, even if the person you loan it to wants to pay you back. That way there are no hard feelings or attachment. DH and I paid 5k for his brother's divorce, because he couldn't afford the proper representation to keep joint custody of his 2 kids, and had NO problem with it. We had been amazingly blessed at the time and could do so. That was 3 years ago and he has given us a few hundred dollars in 'repayment', but I would rather him use the money on his kiddos.
But, don't feel bad asking for help. Every time someone we know needed monetary help we were blessed in a way that it was a clear sign of why we were blessed. Everyone needs help sometime. YOu may need it now, but will be able to help someone when they need it.
HTH.

Good points. I didn't even think of that...

Then think of Christmas, etc. when you want to buy them (and others) gifts and such. That would just be an awkward situation.

naturelle25 · August 2010

absolutely! My parents are awesome though, so I know they would never hold it over my head or anything like that.

Manalyzer · August 2010

I would, but I know my parents, and I know how they would act in this situation.

Good luck!

wanticecream · August 2010

My parents are pretty no-strings-attached kind of people so yeah, I would. I guess it depends on what yours are like

kes3237 · August 2010

I think it is fine IF you agree upon a monthly payment amount and amount of time to pay the loan back BEFORE you borrow the money. If that's all decided and agreed upon, I can't imagine things get sticky in the future.

eesome · August 2010

Absolutely not. Even though it's family, you never EVER want to do financial related agreements with any family member because it can put a strain on your relationship. Even if you do pay them every month, you may occasionally hear your parents say unintentional blackmail remarks or strings-attached remarks related to it. I know everyone is different, but really really think hard about this.
I, personally, would not want to borrow money from any family member.

TexasPaige · August 2010

I absolutely would. We borrowed money from my in-laws for a down payment on our first house. We did pay it back with interest, but it was lower interest than we were paying on our mortgage, and it was higher interest than they could make in a savings account. It worked out for everyone.

It really does depend on your relationship with your parents though. We are blessed to have parents who are not manipulative or judge-y.

Lesley0228 · August 2010

I would. My parents are cool though and wouldn't hold it over our heads or make a big deal about it though. I realize though that for some families this would never work. For example, we would never borrow money from DHs parents.

katekirschner · August 2010

if it were up to me, i'd probably do it for the interest free part. my DH would NEVER do it though. he's all about being independent.

ohfour · August 2010

If it wouldn't put them out in any way, yes. I wouldn't feel weird about it at all. I would feel kind of weird borrowing from DH's family, though.

janjag · August 2010

11% sucks.

I'm going to offer a compromise. If you think your relationship can handle this, then do it. BUT, I don't think it should be interest free. Something like 3%, that your parents might earn in a conservative investment, would be mutually beneficial. I also think it should be a loan with a written agreement signed by both parties. Also, I might set up direct deposit into their acct. so that you don't ever make excuses that a payment is late.

This way I think you and your DH retain your dignity

Mama Jan · August 2010

I would do it. I have that kind of relationship with my parents that I wouldn't hesitate if it meant saving 4 years of interest (and I hope my kids would accept it from me).

We've accepted money from my parents on an interest-free "loan" in order to not put us into debt like that. I don't feel bad because I know they only offered because they want to do it and it's important to them (and we didn't "ask" so I guess I don't have that feeling of "I hate to ask"? and it sounds like you shouldn't either...)

I haven't read the other replies but to me it's a no-brainer. If you have that debt, why put yourself further into debt by racking up the interest?

Mama Jan · August 2010

eesome:
Absolutely not. Even though it's family, you never EVER want to do financial related agreements with any family member because it can put a strain on your relationship. Even if you do pay them every month, you may occasionally hear your parents say unintentional blackmail remarks or strings-attached remarks related to it. I know everyone is different, but really really think hard about this.
I, personally, would not want to borrow money from any family member.

Love ya eesome but I totally disagree It's different for everyone. We've borrowed money for different reasons a few times from my parents and it's never ever come to a blackmail, strings-attached anything. I'm confident that my parents have my best interest in mind and therefore the offer of an interest-free loan won't come down to blackmail/strings-attached.

OP - there is a website that mediates loans with family/friends/ I don't remember what it's called but I'm sure you can find it with google. They basically are a go-between that transfers the monthly payments that are agreed upon. The loaner never has to request the monthly payment. If this is a concern for you, definitely google it!

goodheartedmommy · August 2010

Only if you know you can pay them back, and only if you know for sure you've learned your lesson. Sometimes learning life's hard financial lessons are good for us, even if you can't see it at the time. Also, make sure there will be no hard feelings between you and your family--it's just not worth it.

Stellasmom · August 2010

I'd do it simply to avoid paying interest.

Want a personalized experience?

if your parents offered to pay off your credit card debt...

Re: if your parents offered to pay off your credit card debt...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards