A question for Birth Mom's. (Nursery ?) — The Bump
Adoption

A question for Birth Mom's. (Nursery ?)

My DH and I are excited about jumping into adoption, and are thinking about all the preparations we need to make in the process.  

And I was wondering about having a nursery.

As you think/thought about picking the adoptive family for your child, did it make you feel better if they had a room prepared as a nursery?  Or were you fine with thinking that the adoptive family would create a space after they were chosen for your child?  

 

 If you have a moment, I'd love to know what you think - as I try to make up my mind about what to do.

Thanks so much.

Re: A question for Birth Mom's. (Nursery ?)

  • For me, the nursery did not affect my decision. K's parents did not actually get the nursery ready until 1 week before she was born when the agency told them officially they were picked. They had 2 children, 1 through adoption and had had 1 failed matched. They did not want to go through any bad issues again like the last time.

    What finalized my decision for the couple was that they were everything we wanted, and met our criteria. One parent stayed home, they were a mixed race family (K is biracial), travelled a lot, and were very close with both sides of the family. They also came VERY highly recommended from the agency. I worked with the social worker who had worked with them on the previous placement and heard about them from other employees in the office and just knew they were the one for my child.

    I knew they would make her feel loved and wanted, something my family was not willing to do. So to answer your question, having the nursery was not top priority in my decision. I knew that they would make sure that my child felt loved, wanted, and needed and would make all necessary preparations no matter what when the time came.

  • ::butting in::

    Not a birthmom, but your agency or whomever you choose will most likely give you guidance in this respect. They may say you don't need one for the homestudy (but just want to know there is space for a child), and may tell you whether or not the adoptive parents in their program tend to set up a nursery early on or after they're matched.

    I can say that we knew where we wanted a nursery in our home, but DD's birthmom never brought it up and there were no nursery pictures as part of our profile.

  • Thank you so much ladies.

    That really helps.  There's just so much in preparation.  But you both are right, what matters is being a loving couple that will demonstrate loving these children.

     

    Thanks for your time! 

  • A nursery didn't play into my decision at all.  The adoptive parents showed me where the nursery would be, but that was after I had already selected them.
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