Does anyone else have this fear? — The Bump
Postpartum Depression

Does anyone else have this fear?

I think I may be suffering from PPA, for which I am seeking help via talk therapy. In the beginning, I was terrified of something happening to the baby, but now that he is almost three months and I see that he is doing well, I am not as worried. But now, I fear that something is going to happen to me. I worry about my health all the time, i.e. that I will get sick and have to leave the baby. To me, this is one of the scariest thoughts. I think about it and I become so anxious that I can't eat and find it hard to do things with what feels like a paralyzing anxiety. Whether it's a mild sore throat, a runny nose, feeling exhausted, I fear that my health is failing and I am frightened that I may not be there for my baby. I just love my baby so very much that the very thought of having our bond broken sends me into a complete frenzy. Does anyone else have these fears?

Re: Does anyone else have this fear?

  • I absolutely do. Not to the point to where I can't eat or do things but it's on my mind a lot and it has just gotten worse for me as DS has gotten older and our bond has gotten deeper. I'm actually more health conscious after having DS by just wanting to do everything I can to take care of myself for DS. There was a discussion on the 12-24 board a few months back about this and a lot of the mothers there had this same fear so it seemed somewhat common.
  • Felt those ways...................bad. Now I see a therapist and am on anti anxiety meds which have really saved my life. Im at home all day with DD and she is now my cuddling buddy and errand friend. I love her and takin her with me. But it was anxiety and panic attacks so if it is those there is help

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  • Yes! You described my whole PPA experience. This is exactly how I was feeling and it was horrible. I convinced myself I had all kinds of diseases with every ache and pain and I googled every symptom like crazy. It was horrible and I was constantly living in fear. I was so afraid of getting sick and not being able to take care of my son that I turned into a hypocondriac. 

     I have since been on meds and am fine unless I come off of them. I came off of them once and the anxiety came back. The doctor said I may be on them for the rest of my life. I don't care. It's better than feeling all that anxiety.

  • Yes, and I have heard that this is typical:  becoming very aware of mortality as it relates to your child.  I am fearful of dying and not being there for my child.  I tend to be anxious in general, so medication has been helpful for me.  GL.  
  • Thanks to everyone for replying. It's nice to know i'm not alone in my feelings of anxiety. I will talk to my therapist about it.
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