update and vent

RickeyandDani · August 2010

So SS just flew back home to BM. We are so disappointed. Not only did we report to CPS about what he told us about his mom, he talked to a counselor here and she spoke with the SW as well. Last the SW told us she was having an SW come out to interview SS out here. That never happened.

Just don't know what to think anymore. Either, the system is totally failing us,or SS is lying. WHY wouldn't a SW take it more serious when a child says their mom is shooting up drugs in front of them and leaves them alone with their toddler sibling? I don't get it!

ambrvan · August 2010

Our CPS agency doesn't do squat either. We had to contact the overhead agency that supervises the region to get anything last time. Now that problems have resurfaced, we are doing the same thing again. We reported to our local agency this week, and today we called the overhead agency to ensure things follow through.

Try getting in touch with the state department and let them know that no one ever investigated or followed through with what they said would be done and you fear your child is in danger.

We are in the process of getting another emergency restraining order against BM and getting another emergency temporary custody declaration, which will allow us to keep SD.

What did the counselor say? If the counselor did not request a meeting with yH, he can request a meeting with the counselor. A counselor cannot betray patient-doctor privilege, but there is no reason he cannot advise yH as to what steps he thinks are warranted in this case and how concerned you should be.

RickeyandDani · August 2010

Well here's the other kicker. SS comes from a home where he pretty much gets to do what he wants and he is his own boss. To come to a home where there are rules and accountability is really hard for him to adjust to. After a month, my H had to have a serious talk with SS about him still being blatantly disrespectful to adults (backtalking and not listening to direction). So the same child who was so eager to tell all these horrid things about his mom, is now telling me that he can't wait to go home to his life the way it was.

So we are also dealing with a child who doesn't want to stay with us. Will try contacting the state once the counselor emails back.

ambrvan · August 2010

Well, how old is he? Unless he is 12 (in most states anyway) he doesn't get to choose. And either way, you still have to do what is right for the child. As a child, it's not in his capacity nor should it be his responsibility to have to decide what is best for him. Whether he wants to be there not, if yH thinks he is seriously in danger, then it needs to be checked out.

Either way, it's a tough situation for your SS and probably feels like a loss to him no matter what the outcome.

But it is yH's responsibility no to make sure he is safe anyway.

Littlejen22 · August 2010

RickeyandDani:

Well here's the other kicker. SS comes from a home where he pretty much gets to do what he wants and he is his own boss. To come to a home where there are rules and accountability is really hard for him to adjust to. After a month, my H had to have a serious talk with SS about him still being blatantly disrespectful to adults (backtalking and not listening to direction). So the same child who was so eager to tell all these horrid things about his mom, is now telling me that he can't wait to go home to his life the way it was.

So we are also dealing with a child who doesn't want to stay with us. Will try contacting the state once the counselor emails back.

If I remember correctly you said at one point that you think he is lying. I am not sure what you expect them to do if even you think he is lying.

RickeyandDani · August 2010

Littlejen22:
RickeyandDani:

Well here's the other kicker. SS comes from a home where he pretty much gets to do what he wants and he is his own boss. To come to a home where there are rules and accountability is really hard for him to adjust to. After a month, my H had to have a serious talk with SS about him still being blatantly disrespectful to adults (backtalking and not listening to direction). So the same child who was so eager to tell all these horrid things about his mom, is now telling me that he can't wait to go home to his life the way it was.

So we are also dealing with a child who doesn't want to stay with us. Will try contacting the state once the counselor emails back.

If I remember correctly you said at one point that you think he is lying. I am not sure what you expect them to do if even you think he is lying.

Yes, I feel like he's overexaggerating, but just don't know to what extent. He's just about 11 years old. But today my H just got word that they may cut him orders to deploy in October. Things are so chaotic! I am guessing if he gives me full power of attorney I can still process with getting custody. I guess we'll find out.

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