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Two Under 2
stevenkramer48
member
Preemie Mommy, pregnant again! NEED ADVICE
stevenkramer48
member
in Two Under 2
I am due a few weeks before my DD 1st birthday. I cannot believe I ended up in this situation. I used to work for DCF and we would tell clients to wait at least two years between children and here I go and get pregnant! LOL I was under stress. I am also stressed because my preemie has only been home for about three weeks so dealing with that.
How do any of you with two so close in age handle it?
Any advice is welcome?
Should they share a room?
Jillian
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Preemie Mommy, pregnant again! NEED ADVICE
Im due to knock one out here any day. I can answer one of your questions. Ours arent going to share a room at first, since DD#1 STTN and obviously DD#2, will not. #1 is just BARELY STTN, so we just made our guest room into the 2nd nursery. I think once both are toddlers and somewhat on the same schedule, we may consider putting them together, but that will be after we buy a bigger house. :-)
Im currently panicking on how and if I will be able to handle it, lol. This board is great for advice and comfort though.
Congrats!!
WOW... we will have something in common:) Congrats on your new little coming soon!
Do you nurse? If so how will you handle nursing two babies?
Congrats, mama, you'll do fine. I promise.
How do any of you with two so close in age handle it? I'm just learning now, but it's a little easier than I expected it to be. DS is almost two weeks old and DD is just over a year. There's a lot of just trying to make sure that DD is getting the attention she needs/deserves and making sure DS is fed/doesn't have spit up all over. It's tiring, but totally do-able.
Any advice is welcome? Take help when it's offered. If your SO is able, have him be home for a few weeks while you recover. Before the baby is born? Try and get your LO on a schedule, if they are good with that kind of thing. DD was on a rock solid schedule, and while my mom screwed that up while we were in the hospital, she's back on it. It's helpful to have her routine going, and easier for me to remember.
Should they share a room? If this is something that you want to do, go for it. Personally, I'm terrified of screwing up DD's just-getting-good sleep habits. We're in a tiny two bedroom, anyway, and there's no way we could fit a crib into her room. When we move out, we'll look for a three bedroom so DS could have his own room.
Congratulations!
My DD was also premature (35 weeker though so nothing too serious) and my two will be 16 months apart if DS is born full term.
First, don't worry about the advice you gave at DCF. My Master's is in counseling and I have worked solely with children for the past 5 years. I hate blanket "advice" like "don't have them closer than 2 years apart" because there truly is never an easy or relaxing or "perfect" time to have your second baby. Obviously if you are dealing with an already over-taxed family on the brink (with abuse, family issues, money issues, etc) it is sound advice FOR THEM - but a solid family who has their head screwed on straight can handle 2u2 just as well as they could handle 2u3. So get that kind of garbage away from your train of thought because it will only make things more difficult. A "can do" attitude goes a long way. And frankly, I am thrilled my daughter will have a buddy so close in age. The first 6 months are going to be trying for sure - but I am so excited to see them a year from now.
As for living arrangements. We will not be putting them in the same room... probably ever. Early on because I don't want the new baby messing up my DD's sleep schedule. Later because sharing rooms just isn't something I really want them to do. Maybe I will change my mind... who knows
. We are moving when the new baby is 3ish months old so he will be living in our room (in a arms reach co-sleeper) until we get settled in our new location and then we will do a nursery for him.
Good luck! I always say that the nice thing about surprise pregnancies (this baby is a huge wonderful surprise for us too) is that you have 8 months to get used to the idea. The stork doesn't just drop the kid off the moment after conception
. You'll be fine.
It can be easy at times... DS#2 was born 3 weeks before #1's first b-day. We got lucky ds#1 has been sttn since 8 weeks, and #2 since 7 weeks. We only have a 2 bedroom apt., and #2 us reaching the max weight for the bassinet of the pnp.. which means he has now share. My issue is ds#1 sleeps from 8p-7/8a... and #2 sleeps from 9/10p- 6/7a. I'm scared they will wake eachother up. especially when #2 starts teething... so.. i'd say it's hard to say whether they should share a room... it's more what you think you can handle. depends on their sleeping habits, and your patience.
for right now... they are typically on opposite schedules... #2 wakes then goes back to sleep, then #1 wakes, by the time he has his morning nap... #2 wakes up again... eats, then an hour later #1 is up for lunch, i'm sure you get the point... it's easier than it sounds..
i know people always say accept help if offered.... i know it's easier said than done, right now is when it's nice to have a close family....
Thank you so much for the advice. I have my DS in my room still in a mini pack n play. She has only been home fro about three weeks. So I am thinking by Jan, she will be better and in her own room. The new baby will than sleep in my room until STTN.
I am pumping and nursing and am pregnant, so I guess we will see what happens. I always hve issues with pre-term labor and if nursing is a cause than I guess I will have to find someone who donate breastmilk. Will cross that bridge if and when it happens.
Thank you so much for the advice.
Jillian
Nursing while pg is hard on your body, I did it but have had no preterm labor issues. You most likely will hear from your OB to stop, or stop by a certain point. If you want a good book on tandem nursing its called the adventures of tandem nursing by jennifer flowers, It also has info on Bfing while pg.
I would ask your OB about the nursing part. For now, just try to enjoy your baby being home and take it one step at a time. Good luck!