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March 2011 Moms
skio
member
My ILs are pissing me off
skio
member
I don't know why I'm surprised. We told them the news when I was 9w3d. At that point, we gave MIL permission to tell her neighbor, who she's really close with, and asked everyone else (SIL, Aunt-IL, grandparents) to keep quiet. They asked when they can tell, DH said, "Maybe a week or so."
A week later comes. Naturally, both SIL and MIL are calling DH like crazy people, asking if they can tell now. In that week, though, DH and I had decided that we wanted them to wait until 12 weeks, which is really just an extra week and a half. There had been a difficult death in my family a few days before we told the ILs, so we decided to wait until later to tell my fam to give everyone proper time to grieve (only my parents know on my side). We're also not telling our closest friends until 12-13 weeks.
So, we told MIL she could tell her one other best friend, who has known DH since he was a baby, but that everyone else would have to wait. SIL and MIL both gave him SO much shiit. "But you said a weeeeeeeeeeeek!" I couldn't believe it. He left the conversations by saying, "We will let you know when it's okay to tell."
Today, MIL is texting me saying she's at a BBQ and really wants to tell her three friends. I can't even believe she's asking again, and ME rather that DH. Way to guilt-trip the pregnant lady, you jerk. She's not asking DH because she already knows the answer is no. I think it's really inappropriate of her to ask again, so I'm ignoring her. DH thinks I'm doing the right thing and is hoping she asks him so he can call her out.
I really wish we had waited to tell them. If the news gets back to any of my family or closest friends before I have a chance to tell them, I'll be so so so upset. Live & learn, I suppose. Next one, they wait til 13 weeks.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: My ILs are pissing me off
Same thing happened to me, except it was my parents who nagged the crap out of me about when they could tell people. And what makes it even more ridiculous is that my doctor actually didn't think the pregnancy would be viable- and he told me that but we had to wait 2 weeks for an ultrasound to confirm. Even after I told my parents that ("hey, I'm pregnant, but things aren't looking good. my doctor is worried."), they still asked everysingleday when they could tell people. Um, WTF, my doctor thinks I might miscarry and you want to tell people I'm pregnant? My mom kept saying "But you're pregnant right now?!?! WHY can't we tell people?" WTF!
Just keep saying "no." No reason to feel guilty. And try to remember that they are just excited and they really don't mean to be a pain about it. I wouldn't "ignore" the situation though- I would tell you MIL "sorry, not yet" and leave it at that. She might actually drop it if it comes from you.
That sucks!
My FIL outed me on FB last week by posting on his status that "3rd grandchild on the way....". I know technically he didn't say who, but it's kinda obvious if you know the family.
It wasn't too big of a deal since we don't have many mutual friends on FB, but it still irked me that some people found out via his FB status, and not when I was good and ready to broadcast it.
Married 8 years - Aug 23/08
DD - 6 years old, March 17/11
#2 due July 19th! (It's a boy!)