Does your husband do as much as you would like?

beacbabe · August 2010

Does your husband/SO/FI do as much as you would like? Do you have to constantly ask him to help or does he just take it upon himself to help you?Do you both work?

lilbit923 · August 2010

DH is awesome. He helps with everything. If he knows I am tired or in pain, he'll get Emma ready for bed, change her, put her to sleep. He's a big help to me.

Gracey_Manor Maid · August 2010

I'm a SAHM mom but DH still does his share. for example I hate doing white wash because all of our socks are white...and I hate sorting and matching and folding socks HATE IT!

So DH does the white wash. He also is really great with penny

If I ask him to do something he is pretty good about doing it for me.

MarthaP18 · August 2010

I think DH does more than most, and he's GREAT with Jaiden. However, if I want him to do something specific, I have to very clearly ask him to do it and tell him when I need it done. Men tend to need you to walk them through things that seem like common sense to us.

cerad5 · August 2010

Before we got married we devised a plan for chores as part of our premarital counseling. We decided that he would do everything outside lawn, landscaping, pulling weeds, mowing and take care of our pool, car maintenance. And I would take care of everything inside, all the cleaning and laundry. Which worked fine for us until winter when there really wasn't anything outside to do. So he started pitching in with laundry. Now I SAH and he works 6 10-hr shifts a week most weeks and he works outside. Needless to say he is WIPED OUT most days. If I really beg he will help, but he is such a hard worker outside the home, I usually don't. Oh and he always help with DD, no questions asked. He pretty much is her main care provider once he gets home.

C12H22O11 · August 2010

We both work. We're both out of the house by 6A and usually not home till after 5P.

DH does all of the outdoor stuff (mowing, weed eat, etc). I'm pretty much the master of the indoor domain (laundry, cleaning, cooking). I'd say we split dirty dish duties.

As far as DS is concerned, I'd say I'm still the primary caretaker, but in the last 2 months, DH has started to help much more than he used to. DH is in charge of baths and bottles (I had to assign him these tasks) and will spend a good amount of time playing with DS.

However, DH has never just "taken it upon himself" to do much of anything without me asking and I've learned to accept this. I think men are generally just clueless. Ex: he has a bathroom off of his mancave that I never use and have stopped cleaning. I'm waiting to see how long it'll be before he gets disgusted and cleans it....we're on 3.5 months and counting. Indifferent

Abinormal · August 2010

DH will normally do anything that I ask him to do, but he's not the best about just doing things on his own. For example, if I ask him to do the dishes he will, but if I don't ask him to do the dishes, he most likely won't even think about the pile of dishes in the sink. Every once in awhile, I'll come home on one of his days off (he works 24 hour shifts w/ 48 hours off) and he'll have cleaned some part of or all of the house. Those days are nice!

As far as Tegan goes, he's very playful with her and he'll take her and entertain her whenever I need him to. Plus, he's home with her one of the two days that he's off and he's great with her on those days. However, if I am home, then I do all of the "tasks" with Tegan, bathing, diapering, dressing, feeding, etc. This is partly because I want to since I don't get to spend as much time with her during the school year and partly because I've always been the one to do these "tasks" if we are both home.

myonetruelove · August 2010

We both work and carpool. Dh does his share for both house and his son. we had drawn a plan that every other day does everything ds and I do everything house related and cook dinner.this alternates. Friday is rest day, ssaturday is our hands and knees cleaning day. if ds wakes more than once Dh gets the second shift. I bf though. when we get up I am in charge of ds and Dh is in charge of getting things ready for the day. diaper bag, lunches and pump bag.

slmcronelaw · August 2010

lilbit923:
DH is awesome. He helps with everything. If he knows I am tired or in pain, he'll get Emma ready for bed, change her, put her to sleep. He's a big help to me.

This is my DH too. We both work full time.

justrachet · August 2010

MarthaP18:
I think DH does more than most, and he's GREAT with Jaiden. However, if I want him to do something specific, I have to very clearly ask him to do it and tell him when I need it done. Men tend to need you to walk them through things that seem like common sense to us.

This exactly.

DH and I do close to equal shares of housework and baby duties. We both work FT, too. He's always been more than willing to help around the house, but is clueless about what should be done.

Jen1231 · August 2010

We both work (the same amount of hours). And, I do WAY more around the house than he does. I have to nag him constantly. Sometimes he will clean the kitchen or do little things to help me out without me asking. But, for the most part I have to say this, this and this needs to be done today.

Ivana_Stolichnaya · August 2010

BIG vent coming on...bear with me.

He'll help...but I have to ask him. I hate having to ask him. His answer to everything is, "Just do it later" or "I'll do it later" I'm the kind of person who gets annoyed if the dishes are left in the sink or on the counter, so they have to get done ASAP. He doesn't feel the same way.

I do the dishes, vacuum, clean the bathroom, living room and kitchen, feed K and bathe her then the nighttime routine. Our dogs would starve if I didn't feed them. Clean up the back-yard and cut the grass...grrr.

My husband will do the laundry but doesn't fold the clothes, just throws the dried ones in the basket and occasionally cooks (but needs my help even if it involves reheating spaghetti sauce that I made!)

Like the Aniston moving, 'The Break-Up' The argument where she says, "I want you to want to do the dishes" Well I want him to want to do XYZ would apply in our household.

I was giving DD a bath and remembered that I still had my pumped milk in the pump bag, I asked if he could take them out and put them in the fridge....he said sure and never did it. 12 hours later he remembered,10oz of milk had to be dumped. I was in tears.

I work 40 hours, he works 30. I do EVERYTHING around the house and I'm sick of it!

aocain02@yahoo.com · August 2010

DH is not very helpful. I knew that before we got married though so really I have no right to complain about it to others. The thing that really gets me about him is he thinks he deserves an award for doing something like picking up his laundry off the floor.

12bailey18 · August 2010

DH does way more than I could ever ask him to do. I stay home and he's a full time Marine/college student. However, he's got flexible hours and is home with us a lot (especially this summer) and I can honestly say, it's been 50/50. Some he takes upon himself, some I ask him to do. But either way, he's happy to do it. He's amazing and I'm forever grateful for it!

Babymamawithdrama · August 2010

MarthaP18:
I think DH does more than most, and he's GREAT with Jaiden. However, if I want him to do something specific, I have to very clearly ask him to do it and tell him when I need it done. Men tend to need you to walk them through things that seem like common sense to us.

this regarding LO... household chore he pay all the online bills I write the checks, he cooks dinner, I do the dishes.... I generally do the laundry but he helps folding... I drop off LO at DC and he picks up (generally)... grocery shopping goes either way (he tends to only buy things we need for the day so that kinda sucks).... wish he would take more initiative to do more of LO things like washing bottles or changing him, feeding him, dressing him, but I pick my battles and he is getting better - but definately I need to ask to get things done (and he prefers me to ask)

and we both work

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