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Husband gone last trimester, any tips?

Green*FlamingoGreen*Flamingo member
in Military Families

DH found out this morning he will be PCSing in January. I am due in March, and cannot PCS with him as I am leaving AD and do not want to incur additional ADSO from a move; I would also be too far along to PCS anyways.

My question is for those ladies that have gone through a pregnancy without their spouse, do you have any advice and suggestions? DH fly back for the birth, and we will use his PCS move to transport the household goods at the end of my con leave, but beyond that what else should I plan for? I should be on terminal leave in May.

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Re: Husband gone last trimester, any tips?

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    iluvmytxrgriluvmytxrgr member

    Plan to have a friend or a doula there with you until your H gets there.  Have an emergency plan.  Who can you call if you go into labor in the middle of the night? 

    Until then,  send him belly pics to his phone at least once a week.  Take advantage of all the "me" time you'll have while y'all are apart.  I know it's tough, but hang in there. 

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    NSLNSL member
    imageiluvmytxrgr:

    Plan to have a friend or a doula there with you until your H gets there.  Have an emergency plan.  Who can you call if you go into labor in the middle of the night? 

    Until then,  send him belly pics to his phone at least once a week.  Take advantage of all the "me" time you'll have while y'all are apart.  I know it's tough, but hang in there. 

    Ditto.  My husband is currently deployed, and this is pretty much exactly what we're doing.  The good news is that he'll be able to get emergency leave to be with you when you go into labor and that you'll be able to PCS with him shortly after the birth. 

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    AliandJimmyAliandJimmy
    I'm sorry you are going to go through some of your pregnancy on your own.  I'm in the same boat.  The hubs leaves for Iraq in January, just hoping he makes it back in time for the birth.  This is my first child and his first deployment so lots of changes coming up!  No real suggestions but I kind of know how it feels.
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    veebug22veebug22 member
    I'm in this situation right now. DH has been gone for most of the pregnancy. In 1st and 2nd tri, I could still do almost everything by myself. In 3rd tri, the hardest part is just trying to function and run a household on my own when everything is physically difficult and draining. I have a very busy job, we have a sizeable home, two dogs, a horse, etc. It's hard to be so dependent on others and not have someone there every day to help. My advice is to make sure you have friends or family around you to help out. My mom and sister-in-law both came over a 2.5 week period and did a ton of stuff around the house that needed to be done or in preparation for the birth. It was hugely helpful and helped me to relax mentally and feel a bit more prepared. Also, have back-up labor support. I hired a doula and have two close girlfriends in the area that are also moms. All of them live about 15 mins away. Even if DH doesn't make it home in time for the birth -- and there is still that possibility, which is emotionally difficult at this point -- I know that I will be well-supported. This is the time where when people ask if you need help, TAKE IT!!!
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