Feeling trapped

bliss611 · August 2010

I am not liking my nanny. She is the niece of a family friend so I hired her because I trusted her not to have any wacky issues. (I have a ridiculous fear of abusive & neglectful care-giver). I had her for a week and half before I came back to work and she seemed fine.

It's only been a week and half since I got back but I don't like the way things are. Yesterday I got home to my baby in a shirt wet with spit-up - two issues with this. He usually only spits up when he isn't burped properly. And why the heck didn't she change his shirt?! When I brought the second point up, she said he had just spit up and was about to. Ummm - it was already starting to dry in some parts which means it had been a little while.

And then I was sterilizing his bottles and the the insert in the Dr Browns bottle had dried up milk on it. This is the second time in a week and half and I told her to be more careful with this.

In any case, I want to find another nanny but when am I supposed to spend time with a new nanny so she can get comfortable with my baby and his routine?

ShufflerChick · August 2010

There may be more that you don't like that you didn't mention, but just on those two issues I wouldn't necessarily jump to looking for a new nanny. While unpleasant, I feel like that is correctable, especially if she is generally good with your baby. I would just bring it up with her again, laying out how you would like those things done. If it continue even after discussions, or if she is just consistently sloppy without trying to improve, then yeah, look for someone else.

I just started with a new nanny, have yet to see how it goes, but I trained her on the weekends. I don't have time to take off work to do that.

aajfoster · August 2010

I don't want this to come off rude, but this seems a bit nit-picky. I don't know exactly what you mean by the dried milk in the insert. Like she didn't rinse it after she used it?

Unless you have made up your mind completely about getting someone new, I would just work with her. These two items seem to pale in comparison to someone who is abusive and neglectful, which you said is your fear.

JLS0320 · August 2010

I agree that those are fixable complaints and wouldn't cause me to fire someone over. Now if it was something major like she's not feeding him, then you have the right to be angry! I know when my son started daycare last month I was nitpicking our sitter because she didn't do things exactly as I do, but I had to let go and trust that he's being cared for well and that's what matters most.

M.Amy · August 2010

For smaller things like that I usually need to tell my nanny more than once. I can see how she might want to do things her own way. But I am a big believer in going with your gut instincts. If you think she is and will take good care of your LO then you should stick with her even if there are a few things you would do differently. If you do not feel comfortable then I would look elsewhere.

jenuine · August 2010

M.Amy:
But I am a big believer in going with your gut instincts. If you think she is and will take good care of your LO then you should stick with her even if there are a few things you would do differently. If you do not feel comfortable then I would look elsewhere.

This exactly. Go with your gut. If you feel these are signs of other neglect, then look elsewhere. But overall, they sound like you both getting used to each other. Remember, NO ONE will do exactly as you do caring for your child. You just have to be comfortable that you are good at communicating with each other and that your child is safe and growing physically, intellectually and emotionally. Bring up the issues if they happen again, but I''d hang in there for a bit longer with this one.

DallasHorn · August 2010

With our first nanny, I would say the thought about firing her came up multiple times a week for the first 2 - 3 months. I had to really learn to back off a bit; reinforce where necessary, but even at a DC, you can't control every single aspect of how someone cares for your child.

MTbridess · August 2010

aajfoster:

I don't want this to come off rude, but this seems a bit nit-picky. I don't know exactly what you mean by the dried milk in the insert. Like she didn't rinse it after she used it?

Unless you have made up your mind completely about getting someone new, I would just work with her. These two items seem to pale in comparison to someone who is abusive and neglectful, which you said is your fear.

I agree, these are pretty small things that can be remedied with more frequent and continued communication (even if you have to tell her more than once, that's not a big deal). She won't ever do things exactly like you and will often forget some little things, but if she seems to like and care about your child, that's the best. Plus it's only been a few weeks - give her a month to adjust, babies are always easier for their parents than new caregivers.

Want a personalized experience?

Feeling trapped

Re: Feeling trapped

Choose Another Board

Search Boards