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Am I overreacting?

novbride24novbride24
in Toddlers: 24 Months+
I went to pick my son up from preschool last Wed and he wasn't in his classroom, he was in the director's office.  Apparently he was running around the classroom while he was supposed to be getting into line so they could go to music class and he knocked a little girl down.  So, they sent him to time out in the director's office.  He was there for 30 mins and missed music (which he loves).  I thought this was a bit much for punishing a 3yr old.  I thought timeouts were supposed to be one minute per year of age?  I was talking to another mom and she told me her daughter was in these 30 mins time outs almost every day for things like running, not listening, etc.  I don't know if this is the teacher's policy or the director's but we think it's too long of a time out period for such young children.  I was thinking of saying something tomorrow (he has been out for a week b/c of fall break).  My son looked traumatized when I picked him up and he just wanted to go home.  Last year he never was punished and I think this year his teacher just has far too high expectations for such young kids.  What do you think?
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Re: Am I overreacting?

  • jessicaclarejessicaclare member
    Yes, thats WAY too long of a timeout for a 3 year old, especially just for running around. Let's face it, 3 year olds can be very rambunctions! I'm all for correcting and teaching good behavior, but a 30 minute timeout is excessive. I'd definitely be talking to the director and if its the general policy, I'd be finding another preschool
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    Annelise 3.22.2007 Norah 10.24.2009 Amelia 8.7.2011
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  • abpdjsabpdjs
    i don't think you are overreacting.  i think 30 mins IS to long for a timeout for a 3 year old.  has anyone tried talking to the director?  what your ds was doing and what you described other kids doing and being put in a 30 min time out for is normal toddler behavior.  not that it should be overlooked, maybe a 3 min timeout and talking to them about what they did and why they were put into timeout but NOT 30 mins.  that seems odd to me.
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  • ceecee31ceecee31

    Perhaps 30 minutes is too long for a time out; however, I probably wouldn't go as far as switching daycares just yet.  If this is the first time something like this has happened and it concerns you, then you should make time to speak with the teacher and the director.  Find out all of the details and then ask if there's another discipline option.  If your son has been going there and he likes it and has friends there, I think that may be more difficult for him.  So, dig out all the info, make time to speak with those in charge and then decide what is best for your son.  GL!

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  • April37April37
    I agree with the others, 30 min is WAY too long.  I'd say something.
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  • TheBrownsTheBrowns
    I don't think you are overreacting at all. I don't think you should start researching new daycares, but definitely talk to the director or owner to share your concerns. My mom owns a daycare/preschool and parent communication/customer satisfaction are extremely important to her. I am sure your daycare is the same way! Good luck.
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  • 121005bride121005bride
    I'd be ticked off because 30 min is too long for that.  He was running around- big deal.  He should have got a 3-5 min time out and met the class at music.  However, I did work in a daycare and you have NO idea the things I've seen.  Some kids would have been there longer if it was the daycare I worked in and if they misbehave during naptime, they get sent down a dark hall.  If they do that kind of punishment for running around, you might want to pop in at different times of the day *just in case*
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  • jlw2505jlw2505 member
    That is way too long and way to much of a punishment.  My DD is 2 y and 4 m and when she doesn't listen, she gets a short time out - a few mins at most.  yesterday, her teacher took her jean jacket away (my DD likes to carry it around with her all day like some kids do a lovey).  it was in her cubby when I got there and her teacher explained it to me.  I thought it was a perfect thing to do.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
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  • marriedchick06marriedchick06 member
    I don't think that expectation (of him not running in the room is to high) but YES 30 minutes for a 3yo in a timeout is way TOO long! I would definately say something. I taught K, and I would never expect them to sit out for 30 minutes and they are 5 and 6 year olds!!!  You are NOT overreacting!! GL and keep us updated to what the director/teacher has to say about it.;)
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  • neverblushedneverblushed member

    I agree that 30 minutes seems a little long.

    I would also want to know how the teacher and the director handled the whole thing.  Was he just sent to the director's office to be kept in a holding area while the rest of the class went to music?  Or did someone talk to him about why he needs to have "walking feet" not "running feet" while in line.  Was he encouraged to apologize to the friend who was knocked down?  Was she encouraged to accept the apology?  Are kids recognized/praised for good behavior, or just sent away when they get rowdy?

    I'd be more inclined to roll with the 30 minute timeout if I got acceptable answers to the rest of these questions. 

    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
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